Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child's Asking For Money and Other Things...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 102697" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>I agree. It IS like existing in some warped and forever pain filled reality. Once we have learned that we cannot trust what they say, everything they say feels like a trap.</p><p></p><p>Once my eyes had been opened to that, I wondered at how foolish or gullible a person I must seem ~ not only to my difficult child, but probably to others, as well.</p><p></p><p>It was just that difficult child was taking me up on it.</p><p></p><p>And it's heartbreaking.</p><p></p><p>It helps me to remember where I thought we were going with this child before everything got all twisted, and to hold faith with that imagery.</p><p></p><p>It gives me some kind of guideline for knowing when his words have even a smattering of truth in them.</p><p></p><p>Then too, holding such clear imagery of how we thought everything was going to be enables me to be stronger when I am dealing with him in his current situation without destroying myself in the process.</p><p></p><p>Both you and husband did a wonderful job on this one.</p><p></p><p>Functioning as a team means the other person steps up to bat when you are just too hurt or vulnerable to do so.</p><p></p><p>You could tell your daughter that you will not help her to destroy herself now (through helping her to avoid the consequences of her decisions), anymore than you would have in the past, but that you know she will do the right thing. </p><p></p><p>That phrase has been a lifesaver for me, so many times.</p><p></p><p>Any money you would have sent her can be put into a savings account for the baby to use when it is time for college.</p><p></p><p>That's how we cope with those questions that come afterword ~ you know the ones I mean. Like, "It was only a hundred bucks. What's the matter with me?"</p><p></p><p>It's really important for us to keep clear about our motives.</p><p></p><p>And it's one of the hardest things about interacting with a troubled kid.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 102697, member: 3353"] I agree. It IS like existing in some warped and forever pain filled reality. Once we have learned that we cannot trust what they say, everything they say feels like a trap. Once my eyes had been opened to that, I wondered at how foolish or gullible a person I must seem ~ not only to my difficult child, but probably to others, as well. It was just that difficult child was taking me up on it. And it's heartbreaking. It helps me to remember where I thought we were going with this child before everything got all twisted, and to hold faith with that imagery. It gives me some kind of guideline for knowing when his words have even a smattering of truth in them. Then too, holding such clear imagery of how we thought everything was going to be enables me to be stronger when I am dealing with him in his current situation without destroying myself in the process. Both you and husband did a wonderful job on this one. Functioning as a team means the other person steps up to bat when you are just too hurt or vulnerable to do so. You could tell your daughter that you will not help her to destroy herself now (through helping her to avoid the consequences of her decisions), anymore than you would have in the past, but that you know she will do the right thing. That phrase has been a lifesaver for me, so many times. Any money you would have sent her can be put into a savings account for the baby to use when it is time for college. That's how we cope with those questions that come afterword ~ you know the ones I mean. Like, "It was only a hundred bucks. What's the matter with me?" It's really important for us to keep clear about our motives. And it's one of the hardest things about interacting with a troubled kid. Barbara [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child's Asking For Money and Other Things...
Top