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difficult child's bad behavior is escalating
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 186400" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>Is she going to be starting first grade? That is a HUGE step for most kids. For difficult children, it's a time of great anxiety which causes a lot of very difficult behavior. </p><p> </p><p>I tried, and try not to, ever cry in front of my kids if it's because of their behavior. It's not so bad now with Daughter, but when she was younger she seemed to take an odd pleasure in seeing me upset. I think it made her feel powerful. Not saying that's the case with you. However,I would keep my tears private from the kids, including your PCs ( I know it's hard). Your PCs need to know that Mom is under control and that difficult child is NOT running the show for their own security.</p><p> </p><p>This is MY opinion, but you have, what I like to call, a "powerful" difficult child. They are articulate and believe themselves to be on the same "level" as other adults. Especially, their parents. This usually means the moms because we do most of the dealing with them. Your difficult child needs a very firm and calm hand. I'm not saying that you are going to make her behavior stop with that, but in your posts you seem to afraid of her. You give her a lot of power. She needs a Mom that has a strong and secure presence. Even if you don't "feel" that way.</p><p> </p><p>Throwing things while you are driving? Yikes. Very dangerous and completely unacceptable. Solutions can be difficult because of not wanting to scare your PCs. However, you need to take the reins. Again, as much for your difficult child, as for your PCs. If you have to take her, make it clear that any behavior like that and your going to stop the car. You can even drive to the police station. </p><p> </p><p>I know that I had to only stop once for each of my kids. Do not make a threat that you will not follow through on. My kiids are clear that I mean what I say. </p><p> </p><p>No seatbelt means no more car for you, unless it absolutely cannot be helped. I'm a fanatic about seatbelts. The kids and I were in a head-on accident (other driver not paying attention) and the seatbelts saved our lives. Don't rationalize with her. Don't explain. You are Mom. You are the boss. You owe her no explaination. Seatbelt goes on, or you are out. It's a safety issue. </p><p> </p><p>As for the "bad kid" comment. I know it's so heartbreaking to hear that from your child. She probably wonders herself why she acts the way she does. Has she been evaluated by anyone? Her ODD seems to be more of a symptom than a diagnoses.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 186400, member: 831"] Is she going to be starting first grade? That is a HUGE step for most kids. For difficult children, it's a time of great anxiety which causes a lot of very difficult behavior. I tried, and try not to, ever cry in front of my kids if it's because of their behavior. It's not so bad now with Daughter, but when she was younger she seemed to take an odd pleasure in seeing me upset. I think it made her feel powerful. Not saying that's the case with you. However,I would keep my tears private from the kids, including your PCs ( I know it's hard). Your PCs need to know that Mom is under control and that difficult child is NOT running the show for their own security. This is MY opinion, but you have, what I like to call, a "powerful" difficult child. They are articulate and believe themselves to be on the same "level" as other adults. Especially, their parents. This usually means the moms because we do most of the dealing with them. Your difficult child needs a very firm and calm hand. I'm not saying that you are going to make her behavior stop with that, but in your posts you seem to afraid of her. You give her a lot of power. She needs a Mom that has a strong and secure presence. Even if you don't "feel" that way. Throwing things while you are driving? Yikes. Very dangerous and completely unacceptable. Solutions can be difficult because of not wanting to scare your PCs. However, you need to take the reins. Again, as much for your difficult child, as for your PCs. If you have to take her, make it clear that any behavior like that and your going to stop the car. You can even drive to the police station. I know that I had to only stop once for each of my kids. Do not make a threat that you will not follow through on. My kiids are clear that I mean what I say. No seatbelt means no more car for you, unless it absolutely cannot be helped. I'm a fanatic about seatbelts. The kids and I were in a head-on accident (other driver not paying attention) and the seatbelts saved our lives. Don't rationalize with her. Don't explain. You are Mom. You are the boss. You owe her no explaination. Seatbelt goes on, or you are out. It's a safety issue. As for the "bad kid" comment. I know it's so heartbreaking to hear that from your child. She probably wonders herself why she acts the way she does. Has she been evaluated by anyone? Her ODD seems to be more of a symptom than a diagnoses. [/QUOTE]
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