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General Parenting
difficult child's bad behavior is escalating
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<blockquote data-quote="Love the sunshine" data-source="post: 186606" data-attributes="member: 5759"><p>I went through the seatbelt issue with my difficult child when he was a toddler. I was constantly pulling the car over as he smiled while undoing his carseat. He was a little Houdini no matter how many locks we had on that thing. He's also a "powerful" difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>Something I have to constantly remind myself is to put difficult child issues and schedules into perspective. Dealing with an important difficult child issue - especially if it concerns safety, is a higher priority than being on time to an appointment/meeting etc. I've gotten much better at this as he's gotten older.</p><p> </p><p>My difficult child is older (17) so this obviously wouldn't be an option for you now, but last year I pulled my car over twice and made him get out and walk home. The first time, he was screaming at me and actually spit on my windshield. I immediately pulled the car over and told him to get out and walk home. It was about 1/2 mile walk. </p><p> </p><p>The second time, he was screaming at me and calling me all sorts of names. We were farther from home - about 2 1/2 miles. I asked him calmly if he knew where we were and how to get home if he were driving. He said yes, then continued to scream at me. I calmly pulled the car over, told him I did not deserve to be treated that way, and told him to get out of my car. He sat for awhile, I sat for awhile and stared at him. He finally got out of the car and walked home. It hasn't happened since. Was it the right thing to do? I don't know, but it was what I knew to do at the time. He knows I'll follow through and won't make empty threats - even if it's an inconvenience for me.</p><p> </p><p>I feel for you. It can be so frustrating and emotional. If I feel like I'm getting close to crying in those situations, I have a little trick. I think it may be used in yoga or meditation? Anyway, I think of a really nasty color (for me, it's pea green) and a soothing color (for me, it's pink). Every time I inhale, I imagine I'm inhaling the soothing color into my body (in with the "good"). Every time I exhale, I imagine I'm exhaling the nasty color out of my body (out with the "bad"). If nothing else, it helps to relax me, and get my mind off what difficult child is doing at the time.</p><p> </p><p>Take care,</p><p>LTS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Love the sunshine, post: 186606, member: 5759"] I went through the seatbelt issue with my difficult child when he was a toddler. I was constantly pulling the car over as he smiled while undoing his carseat. He was a little Houdini no matter how many locks we had on that thing. He's also a "powerful" difficult child. Something I have to constantly remind myself is to put difficult child issues and schedules into perspective. Dealing with an important difficult child issue - especially if it concerns safety, is a higher priority than being on time to an appointment/meeting etc. I've gotten much better at this as he's gotten older. My difficult child is older (17) so this obviously wouldn't be an option for you now, but last year I pulled my car over twice and made him get out and walk home. The first time, he was screaming at me and actually spit on my windshield. I immediately pulled the car over and told him to get out and walk home. It was about 1/2 mile walk. The second time, he was screaming at me and calling me all sorts of names. We were farther from home - about 2 1/2 miles. I asked him calmly if he knew where we were and how to get home if he were driving. He said yes, then continued to scream at me. I calmly pulled the car over, told him I did not deserve to be treated that way, and told him to get out of my car. He sat for awhile, I sat for awhile and stared at him. He finally got out of the car and walked home. It hasn't happened since. Was it the right thing to do? I don't know, but it was what I knew to do at the time. He knows I'll follow through and won't make empty threats - even if it's an inconvenience for me. I feel for you. It can be so frustrating and emotional. If I feel like I'm getting close to crying in those situations, I have a little trick. I think it may be used in yoga or meditation? Anyway, I think of a really nasty color (for me, it's pea green) and a soothing color (for me, it's pink). Every time I inhale, I imagine I'm inhaling the soothing color into my body (in with the "good"). Every time I exhale, I imagine I'm exhaling the nasty color out of my body (out with the "bad"). If nothing else, it helps to relax me, and get my mind off what difficult child is doing at the time. Take care, LTS [/QUOTE]
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