difficult child's bad day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Dec 11, 2007.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    difficult child had quite the day yesterday-most of it I just found out about tonight. I dropped him off at school which is something I don't usually do but both husband and I stayed home so I drove the kids to school and he picked up.

    I asked him where he wanted to be dropped off and he said the front. When I got into this long line of cars he gets very upset and says he meant the back. Too late at this point I told him he would have to get out in the front. He is beyond upset and yelling calling me a retard (of course, in front of all kinds of people.

    The day continued to spiral. He ended up with four referrals. He got in trouble in four different environments. He was swearing, took off, shoved a teacher, hit a teacher (supposedly not hard), told another teacher (substitute that he-the sub-had issues).

    The principal just left husband a note to talk to her today about it. He had to spend the day at in-house suspension. He spent his in school suspension with no problems today.

    I'm not really sure what is going on with him (he had just had a fairly good weekend). husband is blaming himself for not being at school yesterday. I told him it is not his fault. husband did call psychiatrist and we are still going up on some of his medications.

    One other thing that did get me furious is difficult child said when he told the sub that he had issues he said I'm not the one with issues you are. He then proceeded to ask the class who had issues and they, of course, answered difficult child. I know difficult child was wrong in what he said but the sub was way out of line :nonono:husband is going to talk to the principal tomorrow.

    Thanks for listening-sorry this is so long. I'm very frustrated because he had been having such a great school year and things are starting to go downhill.
     
  2. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    I swear it's th excitement of the holidays, difficult child II seems Occupational Therapist (OT) be getting worse and worse, the 25th should be a JOY! (sarcasm)
     
  3. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Sharon,

    I was thinking, too, maybe because of the upcoming holidays...you know, the excitement, the stimulation, all that time off school. Maybe that's a factor.

    Sorry difficult child is being such a difficult child. Hope he settles down before Christmas for you :flower:
     
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sharon, I'm sorry for difficult child's bad day. It's no one's fault, but I'm wondering if the disruption in his routine set him off. Here's to a better week ahead.
     
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    It really is sad how one incident in the morning can dictate the entire day. For my daughter, it is still that way. I keep hoping maturity will set in and she will see that what happens in the am has nothing to do with the rest of her day. Dreams are wonderful things!

    So, add a bad incident right before school starts to beginning hormonal changes to the excitement of the holidays and you're bound to have a child who's day is doomed. All considered, it could have been worse.

    And it's a good thing the sub didn't do that to my daughter. I would have taken all 5'6" of me and marched into whatever classroom he was in tomorrow and probably tried to coldcock him and then tell him I HAD ISSUES! How dare he do that to a child! What a complete and total jerk.
     
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sharon

    I'm wondering.....with the whole drop me off in front, then when you get there the sudden change of mind to drop him off in back, when you don't, a flip in attitude....

    Is it possible difficult child is having trouble with some other students? Someone he was trying to avoid?

    I might be wrong.....But take it from someone who spent many years avoiding bullies, that's the first thing that popped into my head when I read that. And yeah, it can ruin an entire day. (I know it would for me as a kid)

    I'm sorry difficult child had a rotten day after a good weekend. Keeping fingers crossed tomorrow is better for him.

    Hugs
     
  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Sharon, I'm sorry. And poor husband blaming himself. Yes, a change in routine can cause a difficult child to spiral a bit, but life just happens.

    I haven't caught the morning thread in a while. Where you and husband home sick? Just wondering a couple of things: 1) The worse I feel, the worse difficult child's behavior is. We've had few meltdowns lately, yet yesterday when I was in tremendous pain, difficult child had an absolutely huge one and out of nowhere. 2) Was he hoping if he acted up enough he'd get sent home and could spend the day with you guys?

    I would absolutely be taking the substitute to task over his treatment of difficult child. :nonono: You just don't do that to anyone - let a lone a child, and especially a difficult child child.
     
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Makes you just want to tear your hair out, doesn't it Sharon? :crazy2:

    I hate, just hate, once our difficult children get on a loop of negatives that they can't seem to break out of it. An act of congress couldn't stop kt or wm once they are on a rampage. :surprise:

    I would hazard to say that difficult child doesn't know what's going on with himself either. It's one of those kind of days where nothing goes right, the level of excitement is a tad high due to the holidays & then you had a trip over the weekend. His structure is being lost in the midst of the upcoming holiday celebration......or not! :scared: Scary isn't it?

    Keeping a good thought that difficult child has a better day today. That he finds some positives to keep him motivated today.

    Sharon, next time, just duck & run - don't talk to principals or teachers. Let them know you're in labor, or are scheduled for brain surgery in 30 minutes....anything but a talk with teachers at the beginning of the day. Just isn't good for the spirit. :flower:
     
  9. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sharon,

    sorry difficult child had such a bad day yesterday. I think you can point the first finger at his knowledge that dad wasn't "in the house" at school. Then, he got upset at drop off. Once that mood begins, it's hard for our difficult children to shake it.

    I worry difficult child feels it's ok to touch an adult - be it you or be it a teacher. I believe that would be my biggest concern.

    I agree with the others that disruption in his schedule and the impending holidays could be why he's either on edge, or quicker to get on the edge.

    Hugs to you,
    Sharon
     
  10. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    Sharon, I'm sorry difficult child had such a horrible day. It sounds as if he handled the in-school suspension pretty well-so fingers crossed all goes well today. The holiday season can be quite challenging.

    Although I agree the sub was way out of line....perhaps you can use this experience as a good "talking point" with difficult child or with difficult child's therapist. Ask questions as to why difficult child thinks the sub would say something like "you're the one with problems." Perhaps change roles...ask difficult child to pretend he was the sub and describe the specific behaviors that difficult child was displaying. How would he feel is he was trying to teach a class and another student was behaving a particular way? Sometimes I think it helps for our kids to step outside of themselves to help them understand how their actions and behaviors impacts themsleves and others and also allows them to think about changing certain behaviors...I don't know....just a suggestion.

    Sending Hugs-
     
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks Ladies,

    Lostyetfound & Janna-It could be the holidays, but I'm not sure. He really hasn't been doing well since October except at school-it was the one place he was doing well overall. Maybe the fact that he is now acting out at school as well has to do with the holidays.

    SW-It could be the change in routine-he doesn't do well with changes to his routine.

    Meowbunny-I never thought that maybe puberty is starting to set in with him! I'm still debating what to do about the sub. husband is going to talk to the principal and I'm considering contacting difficult child's regular teacher.

    Lisa-I never thought about looking at it that way. I do know today he had more problems in P.E. and husband said it started because another child was tattling on difficult child. Maybe they are having trouble with each other.

    Heather-Yeah-we were both home sick and maybe at some level he thought that.

    Linda-You're right it is a lot of change in his structure. At least husband had to deal with it since he is at the school-I'll tell him to work on the ducking and running!

    Sharon-The physical stuff is a huge concern-one that we seem to constantly be struggling with. I wish I knew the answer to get it to stop.

    Jannie-Good idea-something I might bring up to his therapist as with me I'm sure he would blow!

    As always thanks for your support-he did have a really bad P.E. period and I haven't had a chance to find out from husband how the rest of difficult child's day went.
     
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