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difficult child's crash course in darker side of being a pro athlete seems to continue
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 609582" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Yes, it is complex and challenging lifestyle. There are times when I feel bad that we ever gave him a ball to play with and even more took him to organized sports. Or hope that he at least would decide to leave the sports and pursue something more normal instead. Then again; I dread to even think there we would be with him, if he wouldn't have those dreams and goals and motivation to work with his issues, he has because of the sports.</p><p></p><p>This kind of situation is not unique in European team sports and he is likely to come against something similar also again during his career, if he plans to make a real career out of his sport. So in some ways he is lucky, that his first similar issue happens, when he is both young and an outsider and not expected to actually actively take sides or be part of the drama. But because he is who he is, this kind of tension is tough for him emotionally. I did urge him to find out, if it would be possible to schedule an extra visit, or at least extra online meetings, with his sport psychiatric over this. And also consider, if he felt the need for extra skype appointments with his therapist.</p><p></p><p>What difficult child does know, the situation seems to have started like they usually do. Coach has teetered on line of acceptable and unacceptable with some players and stepped over that line with one and things have snowballed from there. In this case the over the line thing seems to be, that they have told a injured long time player that he is free to look for the new team (not that uncommon, not usually done during the injury but early heads up can be even appreciated even if the player is injured.) Over the line part is, that while they have of course been paying for him (and will continue to pay till his contract ends if he is not finding a new team), he was told he is not welcomed to be part of team functions or use team resources during his rehab. And that is really against the standard procedure in these. And when team captain has questioned these decisions, coach has been rude and dismissed him.</p><p></p><p>difficult child also finds that coach is being unfair to his flatmate, venting his frustrations on him and just criticising without trying to help him do better. That of course could be an attempt to drive him out on his own accord. He hasn't been performing like they hoped and if the team lets him go, they have to pay him till he finds a new team, but if he wants to go himself, they don't. Wouldn't be the first or last time the team does that. Some well known cases to force a player to leave on their own accord have been rather heinous. Humiliating them till they have enough is unfortunately not that unknown, people being kicked out from the locker room and reseated to broom closets, made to do embarrassing and unpleasant 'pr work', tarnishing their reputation and whatever. It can be a very cruel business.</p><p></p><p>It is lucky difficult child isn't really in centre of this, but he is sensitive to this kind of tension and it isn't easy for him to just lay low, not let it get to him and let it pass.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 609582, member: 14557"] Yes, it is complex and challenging lifestyle. There are times when I feel bad that we ever gave him a ball to play with and even more took him to organized sports. Or hope that he at least would decide to leave the sports and pursue something more normal instead. Then again; I dread to even think there we would be with him, if he wouldn't have those dreams and goals and motivation to work with his issues, he has because of the sports. This kind of situation is not unique in European team sports and he is likely to come against something similar also again during his career, if he plans to make a real career out of his sport. So in some ways he is lucky, that his first similar issue happens, when he is both young and an outsider and not expected to actually actively take sides or be part of the drama. But because he is who he is, this kind of tension is tough for him emotionally. I did urge him to find out, if it would be possible to schedule an extra visit, or at least extra online meetings, with his sport psychiatric over this. And also consider, if he felt the need for extra skype appointments with his therapist. What difficult child does know, the situation seems to have started like they usually do. Coach has teetered on line of acceptable and unacceptable with some players and stepped over that line with one and things have snowballed from there. In this case the over the line thing seems to be, that they have told a injured long time player that he is free to look for the new team (not that uncommon, not usually done during the injury but early heads up can be even appreciated even if the player is injured.) Over the line part is, that while they have of course been paying for him (and will continue to pay till his contract ends if he is not finding a new team), he was told he is not welcomed to be part of team functions or use team resources during his rehab. And that is really against the standard procedure in these. And when team captain has questioned these decisions, coach has been rude and dismissed him. difficult child also finds that coach is being unfair to his flatmate, venting his frustrations on him and just criticising without trying to help him do better. That of course could be an attempt to drive him out on his own accord. He hasn't been performing like they hoped and if the team lets him go, they have to pay him till he finds a new team, but if he wants to go himself, they don't. Wouldn't be the first or last time the team does that. Some well known cases to force a player to leave on their own accord have been rather heinous. Humiliating them till they have enough is unfortunately not that unknown, people being kicked out from the locker room and reseated to broom closets, made to do embarrassing and unpleasant 'pr work', tarnishing their reputation and whatever. It can be a very cruel business. It is lucky difficult child isn't really in centre of this, but he is sensitive to this kind of tension and it isn't easy for him to just lay low, not let it get to him and let it pass. [/QUOTE]
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