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The Watercooler
difficult child's father died on Sunday
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 521364" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /> for you, and for difficult child as well.</p><p></p><p>I can't add much, but I can tell you this much... As stepmom to kids whose bio mom passed 8.5 months ago... Onyxx can talk to me about bio, even the not so pretty stuff - I won't sugarcoat and she knows that - but not to husband, since there was so much history there. I'm a step removed. And her old foster parents may be that step removed. I don't discuss what Onyxx and I discuss about her bio mom with husband unless it's relevant and important... It's not so much keeping secrets as it's just not important. Jett doesn't really talk to <em>anyone</em> about bio, and it's because he was told never to talk about her to us... And we reinforced that by trying NOT to ask questions, and if his stories got <em>too </em>detailed we told him "what happens at Mom's stays at Mom's" - which is a wall we are working on breaking down, now. It was a good, and necessary, thing, then - now it's a nightmare.</p><p></p><p>You may never be the one she talks to. But - let her know if she <em>wants to</em> you will listen (and then do it).</p><p></p><p>More <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /> for both of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 521364, member: 6705"] :hugs: for you, and for difficult child as well. I can't add much, but I can tell you this much... As stepmom to kids whose bio mom passed 8.5 months ago... Onyxx can talk to me about bio, even the not so pretty stuff - I won't sugarcoat and she knows that - but not to husband, since there was so much history there. I'm a step removed. And her old foster parents may be that step removed. I don't discuss what Onyxx and I discuss about her bio mom with husband unless it's relevant and important... It's not so much keeping secrets as it's just not important. Jett doesn't really talk to [I]anyone[/I] about bio, and it's because he was told never to talk about her to us... And we reinforced that by trying NOT to ask questions, and if his stories got [I]too [/I]detailed we told him "what happens at Mom's stays at Mom's" - which is a wall we are working on breaking down, now. It was a good, and necessary, thing, then - now it's a nightmare. You may never be the one she talks to. But - let her know if she [I]wants to[/I] you will listen (and then do it). More :hugs: for both of you. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's father died on Sunday
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