difficult child's first mention of college!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 1 Day At a Time, Sep 15, 2007.

  1. I was speaking with difficult child yesterday about the website Zillow.com and the fact that I was thinking about making a "Make Me Move" entry for our house - as we are thinking of selling our house and moving in the next couple of years. He said with great astonishment, "But you can't do that, what if I want to go to "X" University or "Y" University! I was, quite simply, shocked.

    We have been trying to engage difficult child in discussions about what comes after high school for several years now. And, heck, just get him interested and engaged in high school. He always says "I don't want to talk about that now" - and puts us completely off. We can see a meltdown approaching if we push - so so far we've been dropping the issue. Both "X" University and "Y" University would be great choices as he could live at home and attend them. One is about 4 subways stops from our house and one is 7 or 8 stops away. (difficult child doesn't drive, and I doubt seriously he will ever be able to do so due to damage to his brain after his accident). Both offer degrees in Computer Science, Computer Engineering, and Information Systems - any of which would be perfect for difficult child - who already has a booming web site independent business going.

    We're reveling in the fact that just this one little hint that he might actually consider finishing high school and go to college has been thrown our way! Do any of you experienced difficult child parents have some suggestions for follow up with this?
     
  2. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    He's at a perfect age to go visit. It would be great for him to make a connection with students at the school. Many schools also have "admissions" clubs where current students talk with propsective students. A visit can be a really defining moment...not always rational but it definitely sways them one way or the other! Good luck!
     
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    I am a little ways away from where you are at but I wanted to say that I'm glad to hear that your difficult child is showing this interest. It gives the rest of us hope!
     
  4. Thanks lynnp,

    We will definitely follow up on the admissions club idea! difficult child is on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum so this is tricky for us. He just doesn't relate well with kids his age or even kids a little older. He was part of a mentoring program for science and math at "X" University so he has gone there often and had a student mentor who met with him both there and at his school as well as going on one-on-one trips to see the Atlanta Braves play and to the Atlanta Aquarium. The mentor was a very nice young man from India who was majoring in computer engineering - but he and difficult child never connected. I suspect this mostly has to do with difficult child's problems with relating to others. At any rate "X" University is notoriously difficult with a killer Freshman year with Calculus from Hell - I fear that it would be way too much pressure for difficult child.

    difficult child took some campus tours with his older brother a few years ago, but I don't really think it made an impact as it just didn't seem real to him at the time. We realize that the "assistance" he has had in high school will not extend to university courses. He can get some accomodations but my experience has shown that university professors are even less willing to work on this than high school teachers. So, getting from Point A to Point B is somewhat overwhelming. We have been thinking that starting with a light load of courses at University "Y" might be the ticket.

    I'm just wondering if any of you parents of kids on the Autism Spectrum have had success with your kids in college and what advice you have to offer?
     
  5. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    I would also make sure and connect with the office of students with disabilities. All campuses have one and are familiar with working with all kinds of students. I know that our office works with several students with Aspergers and they do a great job at helping those kids adjust. I've found also that some schools do a better job than others at helping kids with disabilities...so they may differ widely.
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'm thinking of sending my son to a two year tech school, but he'd live at home. I have a friend with an Aspie--he begged to come home from college, called at midnight crying that he couldn't get his work done. Bright kid, but he couldn't finish. I think my son could complete a two year class with help, but he'd have to live at home too. My son will defilnitely complete high school, but he does have a special IEP.
     
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We have correspondence options here in Australia, if difficult child 3 is still having trouble with all he would have to cope with at once.

    We got sent a pps file showing an extremely large and luxurious yacht owned by someone in Microsoft, we called difficult child 3 into the room and said, "If you take a career in IT like this man, you can earn a salary which would enable you to keep your parents in a lifestyle to which we would like to become accustomed."

    He was able to see we were joking, but if he continues with his aptitude so far, he might just do it!

    Marg
     
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