Well, difficult child was 16 on December 16th. Called from school yelling at me. Had me crying when he got home. I wasn't going to go out to dinner. He invited his girlfriend and her parents, and his brother and girlfriend were going to be there too. And husband. husband asked me to go, so I did. After dinner he went with his girlfriends parents to her house. Now, he has been with girlfriend for 18 months. He spends every day there. After school every day. And on Saturday and Sundays. He gets along really well with her parents. However....... The day after his birthday he told me that girlfriend's mother asked them to be straight with her and asked if they were sexually active. OMG....Yes. I was so dissappointed. I asked if he uses protection. He said the ones Planned Parenthood gave them were too small and the others are too expensive so...NO. Now they watch 16 and pregnant every week, together. And he tells me "don't worry we don't plan on having a baby". Like anyone PLANS on it when you are 15 years old. And I reminded him that if condoms are too expensive what do you think a baby costs. I think he thinks girlfriend's parents and us would take care of it. So, girlfriend's mother put her on the pill. I asked husband to have a father / son talk regarding responsibility. And asked him to buy some condoms. Well, 4 days went by and no talk. No condoms. So I went and purchased them. Told him he is too young. Gave him a zillion reasons why they should not. (first time for both). Explained the pill is not 100% and if she forgets to take it...it doesn't work. I told him I do not want him to do this, but the condoms are if he finds himself in that situation again. He needs to use condoms also. (I know he won't stop. Said it has been a while) girlfriend's father does not know. husband said "oh,I'll ask him what brand he likes"... Hello....did you not hear me say he doesn't USE any? And who cares what "brand he likes". OMG, it is as if he is proud of him. No talk...nothing. I told difficult child he needs to be respectful of girlfriend. No is no. He isn't emotionally ready. Big step in his life...yada, yada, yada. I did talk to girlfriend's mom. She cried. I know if they are going to do it, they will find a place to do it. difficult child makes plans then never follows through. Got into it with girlfriend's mother the other day. Swearing at her and screaming. Because girlfriend had to clean her room and he had the choice to help or come back when she is done. OMG, turned into a screaming match. Then he yells at me. Then he cries and says he is calling her and saying all these mean things. I told him it would not be in his best interest if he wants to continue to see his girlfriend. I cried again. He then calmed down and tried to call girlfriend's mother to apologize. She wouldn't speak to him. He does this....says horrible, mean things, screaming and throwing things and punching things, then apologizes and says when he gets angry he cannot control himself. It is SO difficult. I just don't know how to handle this. then on the other hand, one of his teachers who helps him out and spends HER time helping him with homework on weekends and such...she was at her daughters performance and when they got home their home was robbed. Everything was taken. All electronics, jewelry, christmas gifts for the two small girls. Even a Cello. yet none of the neighbors noticed anyone cleaning out their house. difficult child took his birthday money and gave it to this teacher, so she could get the girls christmas gifts. He is so very sensitive and has such good intentions. But in a heartbeat that can all be thrown away and he is a different person. Says really mean things to people. It is just so difficult. Never know what kid will be there. You can be having a conversation and if you say something he doesn't like, the other kid comes out. But, he is my baby. I feel like just giving up, letting him do whatever he wants and not be there for him. Then I get a change of heart and tell myself I cannot give up on my son. I will always be there for him. My family has been torn apart, everyone walks on egg shells...even school. He has 22 tardies and no consequences. Everyone is afraid to get him angry. Teachers accept late assignments with no points taken off. granted, physics is extremely hard. so, so hard. He's messing with my head. I am told he will and always has pushed MY buttons. Made ME cry. Totally oppositional with ME. I was told he will be this way to the people he feels the most comfortable around. The safest. But I really believe he hates me. Why else would anyone treat someone so hurtful. Then I go back and think of the depersonalization he lives with every day. He has stated in the past that when he is really angry he feels the most normal. Also when he is in pain. So does he do it on purpose? He usually ends up crying also at some point. Then threatens to "break up" with girlfriend. Hey...go for it. Your girlfriend. I have a feeling his christmas gift is going to cause way, way, way more heartache. Just venting. He doesn't deserve his xmas gift. He needs to grow up and be a little responsible. I would like him to be removed from the home. I would like to not be afraid to talk. But, all he has to do is call and I am removed from the home. That is how the "system" works.