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difficult child's referral
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 45586" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Kris, you said, "it's not smart to accuse the teacher of lying about your son ~~~ even if she it. this will only cause more problems."</p><p></p><p>This is true. I always believe in giving them plenty of rope, rather than risk hanging myself with it. While I may believe that this teacher wrote her own very negative version once she got hold of the correct forms, it is also possible that someone else wrote it up (VP? office secretary?) based on what they understood, from gossip. It happens. All you can do is make it clear that what has been written up contradicts the earlier version which you were shown as truth, and which difficult child did have a chance to include his own comments. This later version contradicts the earlier one, so whether deliberate or not, error has crept in and therefore this may not be an isolated incident.</p><p></p><p>In court, witnesses who get it wrong are not necessarily lying. But an innocent person can still be found guilty, based on incorrect testimony.</p><p></p><p>If you insist, for future reference, on getting hard copy of these reports within 24 hours or less of these incidents, or you will not give them credence, they may be more careful to not be so flexible with the truth.</p><p></p><p>As for whether kids would choose snitch or consequences - it depends on the teacher, but an unpopular teacher is far less likely to get told about anything.</p><p>I remember a nasty incident in my final year of school - some kids were making stink bombs (H2S) in the science lab and a teacher stormed in, caught them at it and threw the half-reacted sulfuric acid out the window. It hit a classmate of ours in the face and neck and he had to be rushed to hospital, badly burned. </p><p>The headmaster came round yelling at us all, screaming at us to confess as to which STUDENT threw the acid out the window. We all stuck together and said nothing - it hadn't been a student, it had been that teacher. It had not been any of us and we felt it was that teacher's responsibility to confess, and not ours to dob him in. He was not well-liked by us, but in some ways that made it even harder for us to say anything, we didn't want him to think we had dobbed on him out of dislike. Our main reason - for us to say anything, would remove the prerogative from that teacher to do the right thing. We were threatened pretty badly, he threatened to withhold our diplomas, our references - anything he could, to break us. </p><p>Some hours later, the teacher confessed. The principal backed down but was still angry that he'd got so angry with us when it wasn't our fault. But he took that anger out on us because if we HAD told him that it was a teacher, he wouldn't have embarrassed himself so much by assuming we were guilty, in such a public manner.</p><p></p><p>The teacher got reprimanded I think. Nothing more. We got our diplomas and references, grudgingly. The student who was burned was still getting skin grafts a year later, when I met him at uni and saw him still wearing gauze over his acid burns. He had agreed with us, to not snitch, but like us was very grateful when the teacher confessed.</p><p>The students who had been fooling around (safely) with the acid - I don't think the teacher snitched on them but once the teacher confessed, they then went to the principal, with the science master backing them up because they actually HAD been following safe procedures even if they hadn't had authority.</p><p></p><p>There definitely is a Code.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 45586, member: 1991"] Kris, you said, "it's not smart to accuse the teacher of lying about your son ~~~ even if she it. this will only cause more problems." This is true. I always believe in giving them plenty of rope, rather than risk hanging myself with it. While I may believe that this teacher wrote her own very negative version once she got hold of the correct forms, it is also possible that someone else wrote it up (VP? office secretary?) based on what they understood, from gossip. It happens. All you can do is make it clear that what has been written up contradicts the earlier version which you were shown as truth, and which difficult child did have a chance to include his own comments. This later version contradicts the earlier one, so whether deliberate or not, error has crept in and therefore this may not be an isolated incident. In court, witnesses who get it wrong are not necessarily lying. But an innocent person can still be found guilty, based on incorrect testimony. If you insist, for future reference, on getting hard copy of these reports within 24 hours or less of these incidents, or you will not give them credence, they may be more careful to not be so flexible with the truth. As for whether kids would choose snitch or consequences - it depends on the teacher, but an unpopular teacher is far less likely to get told about anything. I remember a nasty incident in my final year of school - some kids were making stink bombs (H2S) in the science lab and a teacher stormed in, caught them at it and threw the half-reacted sulfuric acid out the window. It hit a classmate of ours in the face and neck and he had to be rushed to hospital, badly burned. The headmaster came round yelling at us all, screaming at us to confess as to which STUDENT threw the acid out the window. We all stuck together and said nothing - it hadn't been a student, it had been that teacher. It had not been any of us and we felt it was that teacher's responsibility to confess, and not ours to dob him in. He was not well-liked by us, but in some ways that made it even harder for us to say anything, we didn't want him to think we had dobbed on him out of dislike. Our main reason - for us to say anything, would remove the prerogative from that teacher to do the right thing. We were threatened pretty badly, he threatened to withhold our diplomas, our references - anything he could, to break us. Some hours later, the teacher confessed. The principal backed down but was still angry that he'd got so angry with us when it wasn't our fault. But he took that anger out on us because if we HAD told him that it was a teacher, he wouldn't have embarrassed himself so much by assuming we were guilty, in such a public manner. The teacher got reprimanded I think. Nothing more. We got our diplomas and references, grudgingly. The student who was burned was still getting skin grafts a year later, when I met him at uni and saw him still wearing gauze over his acid burns. He had agreed with us, to not snitch, but like us was very grateful when the teacher confessed. The students who had been fooling around (safely) with the acid - I don't think the teacher snitched on them but once the teacher confessed, they then went to the principal, with the science master backing them up because they actually HAD been following safe procedures even if they hadn't had authority. There definitely is a Code. Marg [/QUOTE]
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