OpenWindow
Active Member
It seems springtime is the worst time of year for difficult child so I decided to post after a long hiatus from the board. We don't have Internet at home so I have been sneaking on the board again at work during lunch and breaks.
difficult child was doing relatively well considering we moved to a new state last summer. The school we chose was highly recommended by everyone and I have been happy with the way things were going there. He had a one-on-one resource teacher with him throughout most of the day and he was getting through and even enjoying school. With only a week's warning, the district pulled this resource teacher and moved her to the high school because there were a lot more students in need there. They replaced her with a resource room teacher who had a full classroom. So instead of someone with him throughout the day, he had a resource teacher he checked in with at the end of the day.
It was only in his IEP that he have a resource teacher to check in with, the one-on-one was supposed to be temporary until he got used to the new school (which, in addition to being a new district in a new state, was his first year in middle school). So I can't fight it legally with the IEP.
It seems things have gone downhill since. And spring is his worst time, so it's all the more downhill now. He's been suspended three times since January. I think his teacher has decided he is choosing to be this way. I got an email a couple weeks ago about his bad day. I emailed back saying I was in no way making excuses, but we have to consider the fact that it was the Friday of testing week, he had a sub that morning, his great-grandmother was in ICU and we thought she wasn't going to make it (she's back to normal now), and one of his friends on his soccer team was taken away by ambulance after he collapsed while holding his head. Everyone thought it was an aneurism or worse. She emailed me back saying that she doesn't think those are reasons why he chose to argue with a classmate and insult the child's mother.
Last night I got a note in his agenda from this teacher saying he didn't turn in a big report that was due that day (the monday after spring break). He gets detention until it is complete, and he will get 0 out of the 300 points. I looked back in the agenda and there was never a mention of this report - I had no idea it was due or that he was even working on it. (Of course he should have told me but he never tells me anything about school and what work he should be doing). The last big report that was due they didn't let me know until the night before that it was due. We had to work all night on it, including shopping for the supplies.
Of course I'm second-guessing myself and wondering if I'm overreacting but I'm really aggravated. I think she's convinced herself he is just choosing to not do anything. I know he's making the choices not to tell me and not to do the work, but he is academically very capable of doing it, just not emotionally. They all know he is academically capable, so I don't see how giving him 0 points because he didn't do it is going to help. difficult child doesn't learn from this. He has a reading log due every month, worth 100 points. He refuses to fill it out. If we force him to fill it out, he doesn't turn it in. We've tried everything. He loves reading, and he reads for at least an hour every night - the reading log requires 30 minutes. He reads in his spare time at school. They all comment on it. But every month, he gets 0 points because he doesn't turn in the log. This bothered me, but I didn't really fight it because I didn't want to make waves when they seemed to be trying on every other level with him. But him getting 0 out of 300 for a project I know he can do, it just makes me mad. The teachers are worried about his behavior getting worse and worse, and I think doing this will just worsen his attitude and his behavior will keep going downhill. And it won't teach him to do the big project on time the next time, he doesn't function like that.
I don't know, maybe I am overreacting. Should we hold him to the same expectations as the others in the class?
Linda
difficult child was doing relatively well considering we moved to a new state last summer. The school we chose was highly recommended by everyone and I have been happy with the way things were going there. He had a one-on-one resource teacher with him throughout most of the day and he was getting through and even enjoying school. With only a week's warning, the district pulled this resource teacher and moved her to the high school because there were a lot more students in need there. They replaced her with a resource room teacher who had a full classroom. So instead of someone with him throughout the day, he had a resource teacher he checked in with at the end of the day.
It was only in his IEP that he have a resource teacher to check in with, the one-on-one was supposed to be temporary until he got used to the new school (which, in addition to being a new district in a new state, was his first year in middle school). So I can't fight it legally with the IEP.
It seems things have gone downhill since. And spring is his worst time, so it's all the more downhill now. He's been suspended three times since January. I think his teacher has decided he is choosing to be this way. I got an email a couple weeks ago about his bad day. I emailed back saying I was in no way making excuses, but we have to consider the fact that it was the Friday of testing week, he had a sub that morning, his great-grandmother was in ICU and we thought she wasn't going to make it (she's back to normal now), and one of his friends on his soccer team was taken away by ambulance after he collapsed while holding his head. Everyone thought it was an aneurism or worse. She emailed me back saying that she doesn't think those are reasons why he chose to argue with a classmate and insult the child's mother.
Last night I got a note in his agenda from this teacher saying he didn't turn in a big report that was due that day (the monday after spring break). He gets detention until it is complete, and he will get 0 out of the 300 points. I looked back in the agenda and there was never a mention of this report - I had no idea it was due or that he was even working on it. (Of course he should have told me but he never tells me anything about school and what work he should be doing). The last big report that was due they didn't let me know until the night before that it was due. We had to work all night on it, including shopping for the supplies.
Of course I'm second-guessing myself and wondering if I'm overreacting but I'm really aggravated. I think she's convinced herself he is just choosing to not do anything. I know he's making the choices not to tell me and not to do the work, but he is academically very capable of doing it, just not emotionally. They all know he is academically capable, so I don't see how giving him 0 points because he didn't do it is going to help. difficult child doesn't learn from this. He has a reading log due every month, worth 100 points. He refuses to fill it out. If we force him to fill it out, he doesn't turn it in. We've tried everything. He loves reading, and he reads for at least an hour every night - the reading log requires 30 minutes. He reads in his spare time at school. They all comment on it. But every month, he gets 0 points because he doesn't turn in the log. This bothered me, but I didn't really fight it because I didn't want to make waves when they seemed to be trying on every other level with him. But him getting 0 out of 300 for a project I know he can do, it just makes me mad. The teachers are worried about his behavior getting worse and worse, and I think doing this will just worsen his attitude and his behavior will keep going downhill. And it won't teach him to do the big project on time the next time, he doesn't function like that.
I don't know, maybe I am overreacting. Should we hold him to the same expectations as the others in the class?
Linda
