Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child's request
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 630445" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Echo, that "feels different this time" radar is something we have to honor, I think. And that distance and coolness you speak of, of course! We would be fools to not have that buffer. Oh wait, I have been that fool, many times. But I am learning.</p><p></p><p>I really like what Cedar said, about having them at home and having that time together to just randomly say something of tremendous importance to us, something that would lose its punch if we had to add it to all the OTHER tremendously important things and spew them out in a more controlled interaction. </p><p></p><p>I think it is a good idea to live in "A" room, whatever room works for you right now, not "HIS" room, and to not have a key, while something well-suited is found.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if this will help in locating something, but the place my son is at now is run by a recovering alcoholic who says he does it to stay sober. His facility is not listed on any of the sober living networks, but when he has a bed available he lets the local detox unit know, and if he thinks it will be a good "fit" with the other residents he offers a space. It's the usual halfway house stuff, weekly rent, chores, random drug tests, etc. But it's also 12 young men supporting each other under the supervision of someone with the experience to sniff out their BS. </p><p></p><p>A couple of weeks ago my son brought 3 of his friends over to get our kayaks so they could take the new guy out and "show him he could have a fun day sober." It was really pretty awesome, to see them out loading the boats, laughing, supporting a friend...doing all those things I optimistically pictured him doing when he was 21. It was a good day.</p><p></p><p>I think those friendships are so important. I've often believed that a great deal of what led to difficult child's substance issues was the hard time he had feeling like he belonged anywhere. Like you said, they will always find someone who accepts them. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, I ramble. This IS new territory, so take the time to find something that feels like it is home and sanctuary for him. </p><p></p><p>I am so very happy to read how he and you are doing today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 630445, member: 17720"] Echo, that "feels different this time" radar is something we have to honor, I think. And that distance and coolness you speak of, of course! We would be fools to not have that buffer. Oh wait, I have been that fool, many times. But I am learning. I really like what Cedar said, about having them at home and having that time together to just randomly say something of tremendous importance to us, something that would lose its punch if we had to add it to all the OTHER tremendously important things and spew them out in a more controlled interaction. I think it is a good idea to live in "A" room, whatever room works for you right now, not "HIS" room, and to not have a key, while something well-suited is found. I don't know if this will help in locating something, but the place my son is at now is run by a recovering alcoholic who says he does it to stay sober. His facility is not listed on any of the sober living networks, but when he has a bed available he lets the local detox unit know, and if he thinks it will be a good "fit" with the other residents he offers a space. It's the usual halfway house stuff, weekly rent, chores, random drug tests, etc. But it's also 12 young men supporting each other under the supervision of someone with the experience to sniff out their BS. A couple of weeks ago my son brought 3 of his friends over to get our kayaks so they could take the new guy out and "show him he could have a fun day sober." It was really pretty awesome, to see them out loading the boats, laughing, supporting a friend...doing all those things I optimistically pictured him doing when he was 21. It was a good day. I think those friendships are so important. I've often believed that a great deal of what led to difficult child's substance issues was the hard time he had feeling like he belonged anywhere. Like you said, they will always find someone who accepts them. Anyway, I ramble. This IS new territory, so take the time to find something that feels like it is home and sanctuary for him. I am so very happy to read how he and you are doing today. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
difficult child's request
Top