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difficult child's school messes up again
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 239639" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm coming late to this one.</p><p></p><p>My main concern with the letter is it could be seen as inflammatory. However, you do have legitimate concernsand this teacher is not giving you the information she should.</p><p></p><p>Even in those times when I wanted to shake the teacher so hard that she rattled, I kept my letters as supportive and positive as I could. If I felt too angry to do that, I sent my letter up the chain of command - principal first, then district speical ed people, then state head of dept, then minister for education.</p><p></p><p>IN this situation - I would first spell out what I wanted. I would gently remind that I had already made this request clear and that I required it, it was necessary, not just a "nice to have". I would then desribe past consequences of failure to meet this requirement. I would then describe what I would do in the event I didn't get it this time - usually "I will have to take this up with someone senior". There have been times when I made it clear that failure to comply with these requirments was discriminatory, in that it was reducing difficult child 3's ability to access the same education as his classmates. He had needs that had to be met, due to his disability - failure to meet those needs was preventing him coping in the classroom, in the same way that a blind child who was refused access to Braille would be discriminated against.</p><p>I then put in the carrot, the constructive stuff - I offered my services to instruct school staff on difficult child 3's needs, I offered information on seminars, conferences, books etc so they had NO excuse for not understanding. I then finished with the sugar - "I know if we pull together on this, we will see how well difficult child 3 can do and we will all be able to take credit for his progress." OK, I almost puked as I typed it, but there was no way they could accuse me of being difficult or negative.</p><p></p><p>What a good letter needs, is the problem stated, what you want done to sort the problem, and any positive suggestions you can make to deal with it from the other point of view. Where possible, try to keep it to under a page (so they don't have to exert themselves turning the page). I was told by difficult child 3's former pricipal, that he never read the letter if it was more than a page. He would put it aside to "read later" and generally never get to it.</p><p></p><p>Now, to practical things - this should be in the IEP. If it is, you can call her out on her failure to do it. If it isn't, you dont have much to stand on, unfortunately. For now. But you CAN fix that!</p><p></p><p>Other suggestions I have are sneaky and underhand. That is why I like them. YOu cultivate the nurse, get her to let you know when difficult child is using her services. Also if possible, cultivate some classmates of difficult child's, use them asyour spies in the classroom. NEVER blow their cover, but just let the teacher think you have eyes in the back of your head (ie play her at her own game). But you need preferaly two spies as a minimum, kids who you can believe and who don't have their own agenda to get the teacher into trouble. Choose carefully and try to not lean on them too much. But having someone you can ask, at a pinch, what happened - valuable. If they will proactively contact you with information - that is gold. In our case I used kids from our church, which is more like a family. On Sundays the kids would all be playing together after church often with families staying at the church for various activities all day. They migt have hassled difficult child 3 a bit for being different (the only boy, for a while) but they stuck to him like glue, at school. Most were in different grades so we got very different opinions on events, but sifting through it all I was always able to get to the truth of a problem. At least, getting a lot closer than if I just dpeended on just one source.</p><p></p><p>Even the best teacher won't tell you everything. Some of the most important snippets of information about difficult child 3, I only heard about by accident, or in passing. The teachers won't tell you, if THEY don't see it as important. They're not mind-readers, so we do have to spell it out Occupational Therapist (OT) them. Of course, some of them just won't listen, so you have Occupational Therapist (OT) tell them again and again and again... but if you do this in writing and keep acopy, you can always point to your copy and say, "I first told you to do this on... and you still aren't doing it. It is needed because... You time with him will be improved if you do this. Mine will also be improved. It is now in the IEP. Please fix this."</p><p></p><p>Good luck with this, it sounds like a chronic problem which won't be easily solved.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 239639, member: 1991"] I'm coming late to this one. My main concern with the letter is it could be seen as inflammatory. However, you do have legitimate concernsand this teacher is not giving you the information she should. Even in those times when I wanted to shake the teacher so hard that she rattled, I kept my letters as supportive and positive as I could. If I felt too angry to do that, I sent my letter up the chain of command - principal first, then district speical ed people, then state head of dept, then minister for education. IN this situation - I would first spell out what I wanted. I would gently remind that I had already made this request clear and that I required it, it was necessary, not just a "nice to have". I would then desribe past consequences of failure to meet this requirement. I would then describe what I would do in the event I didn't get it this time - usually "I will have to take this up with someone senior". There have been times when I made it clear that failure to comply with these requirments was discriminatory, in that it was reducing difficult child 3's ability to access the same education as his classmates. He had needs that had to be met, due to his disability - failure to meet those needs was preventing him coping in the classroom, in the same way that a blind child who was refused access to Braille would be discriminated against. I then put in the carrot, the constructive stuff - I offered my services to instruct school staff on difficult child 3's needs, I offered information on seminars, conferences, books etc so they had NO excuse for not understanding. I then finished with the sugar - "I know if we pull together on this, we will see how well difficult child 3 can do and we will all be able to take credit for his progress." OK, I almost puked as I typed it, but there was no way they could accuse me of being difficult or negative. What a good letter needs, is the problem stated, what you want done to sort the problem, and any positive suggestions you can make to deal with it from the other point of view. Where possible, try to keep it to under a page (so they don't have to exert themselves turning the page). I was told by difficult child 3's former pricipal, that he never read the letter if it was more than a page. He would put it aside to "read later" and generally never get to it. Now, to practical things - this should be in the IEP. If it is, you can call her out on her failure to do it. If it isn't, you dont have much to stand on, unfortunately. For now. But you CAN fix that! Other suggestions I have are sneaky and underhand. That is why I like them. YOu cultivate the nurse, get her to let you know when difficult child is using her services. Also if possible, cultivate some classmates of difficult child's, use them asyour spies in the classroom. NEVER blow their cover, but just let the teacher think you have eyes in the back of your head (ie play her at her own game). But you need preferaly two spies as a minimum, kids who you can believe and who don't have their own agenda to get the teacher into trouble. Choose carefully and try to not lean on them too much. But having someone you can ask, at a pinch, what happened - valuable. If they will proactively contact you with information - that is gold. In our case I used kids from our church, which is more like a family. On Sundays the kids would all be playing together after church often with families staying at the church for various activities all day. They migt have hassled difficult child 3 a bit for being different (the only boy, for a while) but they stuck to him like glue, at school. Most were in different grades so we got very different opinions on events, but sifting through it all I was always able to get to the truth of a problem. At least, getting a lot closer than if I just dpeended on just one source. Even the best teacher won't tell you everything. Some of the most important snippets of information about difficult child 3, I only heard about by accident, or in passing. The teachers won't tell you, if THEY don't see it as important. They're not mind-readers, so we do have to spell it out Occupational Therapist (OT) them. Of course, some of them just won't listen, so you have Occupational Therapist (OT) tell them again and again and again... but if you do this in writing and keep acopy, you can always point to your copy and say, "I first told you to do this on... and you still aren't doing it. It is needed because... You time with him will be improved if you do this. Mine will also be improved. It is now in the IEP. Please fix this." Good luck with this, it sounds like a chronic problem which won't be easily solved. Marg [/QUOTE]
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