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difficult child's stealing has reached a whole new level - HELP!?
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 493412" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>Are you sure you aren't talking about MY son?</p><p></p><p>Yep.....we've been in your shoes. Money, clothes, food, video games, movies, home decor.....and all of THAT was just from INSIDE our home. He has stolen from our friends, our family, kids at school and even HIS friends. I have advice but it will take work and you ALL have to be on the same page.</p><p></p><p>1. Invest in some good deadbolts. Unfortunately these do not go on outer doors of your home. These go on the inside doors. First one goes on your bedroom door and anything of interest to your difficult child is locked in there.....at ALL times. husband is outside working on his car? If he doesn't have his wallet in his pocket, it is locked in your room. If you aren't physically carrying your purse......it is locked in your room. I don't care if you are only in the next room, that door is LOCKED. Keys are kept seperate from your normal key chains and are on your person at ALL TIMES. If you need to keep a spare somewhere, be VERY VERY CAREFUL where you keep it. NO ONE else can know where it is....NO ONE. </p><p></p><p>2. A natural consequence of difficult child stealing is that he is ALWAYS within sight of you, husband or a responsible (and on the same page) ADULT. No ifs, ands, or buts. And I do mean ALWAYS.</p><p></p><p>3. Depending on how bad the stealing gets, you may have to scale down the items in your home that are acessible to anyone. There were times I couldn't even leave knick-knack items out or they would disappear or be taken apart. </p><p></p><p>4. Another form of discipline....and this one REALLY takes some effort and a very secure area, is to strip your difficult child's room of EVERYTHING. He gets his clothes, a mattress, blanket and possibly a pillow. That's IT. If you're really in a giving mood.....he can have his door but everything else is gone. It would be up to you as to how he would earn items back but you HAVE to be consistent. You also have to have some place to store the rest of his stuff where he can not get to it.</p><p></p><p>5. All outbuildings, sheds, garage, etc. are kept locked and secure AT ALL TIMES. Not only can these areas be storage for you but they can also act as hiding places for stolen property. </p><p></p><p>6. Be aware of what is in your home/outbuildings, etc. and also what is in your neighborhood. We had a vacant house next door for awhile. Turns out, the garage was where our difficult child had stashed some stolen items. </p><p></p><p>Obviously, some of these ideas would need to be adjusted to fit individual situations but I can give more advice if needed. Our difficult child.....and I'm not telling you this to scare you, this is just our life......is now in prison for three felony counts of burglary because he kept the attitude of "If I want it, I'm taking it". He too is Bipolar, ODD, ADHD and more I"m sure. The combination of little to no impulse control and the entitlement issues of BiPolar (BP) make for a dangerous beast who lives within our kids and takes what he wants and doesn't care. </p><p></p><p>If counseling isn't an option for your difficult child.....although I would try it if you haven't already.....you may want to go yourselves. It not only gives you an outlet for your own frustrations and concerns but can also help bring you both (or all) together on the same page of what is going on and what needs to be done.</p><p></p><p>I feel for you....I've been there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 493412, member: 2459"] Are you sure you aren't talking about MY son? Yep.....we've been in your shoes. Money, clothes, food, video games, movies, home decor.....and all of THAT was just from INSIDE our home. He has stolen from our friends, our family, kids at school and even HIS friends. I have advice but it will take work and you ALL have to be on the same page. 1. Invest in some good deadbolts. Unfortunately these do not go on outer doors of your home. These go on the inside doors. First one goes on your bedroom door and anything of interest to your difficult child is locked in there.....at ALL times. husband is outside working on his car? If he doesn't have his wallet in his pocket, it is locked in your room. If you aren't physically carrying your purse......it is locked in your room. I don't care if you are only in the next room, that door is LOCKED. Keys are kept seperate from your normal key chains and are on your person at ALL TIMES. If you need to keep a spare somewhere, be VERY VERY CAREFUL where you keep it. NO ONE else can know where it is....NO ONE. 2. A natural consequence of difficult child stealing is that he is ALWAYS within sight of you, husband or a responsible (and on the same page) ADULT. No ifs, ands, or buts. And I do mean ALWAYS. 3. Depending on how bad the stealing gets, you may have to scale down the items in your home that are acessible to anyone. There were times I couldn't even leave knick-knack items out or they would disappear or be taken apart. 4. Another form of discipline....and this one REALLY takes some effort and a very secure area, is to strip your difficult child's room of EVERYTHING. He gets his clothes, a mattress, blanket and possibly a pillow. That's IT. If you're really in a giving mood.....he can have his door but everything else is gone. It would be up to you as to how he would earn items back but you HAVE to be consistent. You also have to have some place to store the rest of his stuff where he can not get to it. 5. All outbuildings, sheds, garage, etc. are kept locked and secure AT ALL TIMES. Not only can these areas be storage for you but they can also act as hiding places for stolen property. 6. Be aware of what is in your home/outbuildings, etc. and also what is in your neighborhood. We had a vacant house next door for awhile. Turns out, the garage was where our difficult child had stashed some stolen items. Obviously, some of these ideas would need to be adjusted to fit individual situations but I can give more advice if needed. Our difficult child.....and I'm not telling you this to scare you, this is just our life......is now in prison for three felony counts of burglary because he kept the attitude of "If I want it, I'm taking it". He too is Bipolar, ODD, ADHD and more I"m sure. The combination of little to no impulse control and the entitlement issues of BiPolar (BP) make for a dangerous beast who lives within our kids and takes what he wants and doesn't care. If counseling isn't an option for your difficult child.....although I would try it if you haven't already.....you may want to go yourselves. It not only gives you an outlet for your own frustrations and concerns but can also help bring you both (or all) together on the same page of what is going on and what needs to be done. I feel for you....I've been there. [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's stealing has reached a whole new level - HELP!?
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