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difficult child's Tardies / detention
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 42930" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Kjs, several things to hold on to.</p><p></p><p>Every kid is different. Yours included. Just because someone else's son didn't do well doesn't mean yours won't. She's just trying to make herself feel better by determining that someone else is worse off. Self-fulfilling prophecy, if you buy into it. Don't. And avoid talking to her in future, if you can't stop taking what she says on board. You MUST be able to detach from this sort of damaging gossip. They must be very miserable people indeed, to take pleasure from your distress and to therefore cause more distress to make themselves feel even better again. Some people are like that - don't you be, because it taints the speaker too. If you can successfully detach, listen. But if not, wave politely and walk away. You have better things in life to do (such as have a quiet, relaxing cup of coffee).</p><p></p><p>YOU know he wasn't skipping school. The person who told you didn't see him for herself, someone told her. And probably someone else told her, and so on - it is most likely it was someone else's kid, or she's confused, or they've got the time or day wrong. It might have been on a weekend, last year! THAT is why this is called "hearsay" and is inadmissible in court - it's too likely to be tainted and is VERY unreliable.</p><p></p><p>About the tardies - I would go to the school and sit there until someone shows you exactly when he was tardy. You're not getting straight answers. Arrive either before school, or recess, or lunchtime. Take a thermos flask and some knitting, make it clear you're settling in comfortably until they give you the answers.</p><p>Alternatively, put it in writing, that YOU require evidence in writing even if it's just a note from the teacher giving the days and classes involved. If he's tending to cut one class more than another, this is information you need in order to resolve any underlying problem. YOU ARE NOT UNREASONABLE IN WANTING TO KNOW.</p><p></p><p>Gossip and social chit chat can be healing for some people, you take time out to interact with other people. But if it leaves you feeling down, depressed and hopeless, it's not helping you. They're only trying to help themselves by draining your energy. Find another way to recharge.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 42930, member: 1991"] Kjs, several things to hold on to. Every kid is different. Yours included. Just because someone else's son didn't do well doesn't mean yours won't. She's just trying to make herself feel better by determining that someone else is worse off. Self-fulfilling prophecy, if you buy into it. Don't. And avoid talking to her in future, if you can't stop taking what she says on board. You MUST be able to detach from this sort of damaging gossip. They must be very miserable people indeed, to take pleasure from your distress and to therefore cause more distress to make themselves feel even better again. Some people are like that - don't you be, because it taints the speaker too. If you can successfully detach, listen. But if not, wave politely and walk away. You have better things in life to do (such as have a quiet, relaxing cup of coffee). YOU know he wasn't skipping school. The person who told you didn't see him for herself, someone told her. And probably someone else told her, and so on - it is most likely it was someone else's kid, or she's confused, or they've got the time or day wrong. It might have been on a weekend, last year! THAT is why this is called "hearsay" and is inadmissible in court - it's too likely to be tainted and is VERY unreliable. About the tardies - I would go to the school and sit there until someone shows you exactly when he was tardy. You're not getting straight answers. Arrive either before school, or recess, or lunchtime. Take a thermos flask and some knitting, make it clear you're settling in comfortably until they give you the answers. Alternatively, put it in writing, that YOU require evidence in writing even if it's just a note from the teacher giving the days and classes involved. If he's tending to cut one class more than another, this is information you need in order to resolve any underlying problem. YOU ARE NOT UNREASONABLE IN WANTING TO KNOW. Gossip and social chit chat can be healing for some people, you take time out to interact with other people. But if it leaves you feeling down, depressed and hopeless, it's not helping you. They're only trying to help themselves by draining your energy. Find another way to recharge. Good luck. Marg [/QUOTE]
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