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General Parenting
difficult child's therapist - frustrated
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 287823" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You need to go to an appointment without difficult child. Go in just by yourself and INSIST on telling the therapist the history, things like the shoe tieing and her insisting on being dependent on you, everything. Let the therapist see how it REALLY is, including her perceptions about being happy (include the art journal, even take it if you can).</p><p></p><p>Then INSIST on seeing the therapist for 10 minutes to give an update on how difficult child has been - 10 ninutes every session. Or every other session. But regularly. If therapist won't do this, change tdocs. The therapist NEEDS your input to teach appropriate skills to difficult child. She did difficult child no good service by not seeing you first. A difficult child has NO ability to impose real life on her behaviors. So the therapist cannot get a view of how things really are until you meet with therapist.</p><p></p><p>Don't pay for any more sessions until the therapist has a session with you. You may have to force the issue. If therapist is unhappy, who cares? She is there to do a job, not to be insisting you make her happy. She still has a job to do.</p><p></p><p>I think this therapist is irresponsible to not speak to you first. In a session confront her with this. Ask her WHY she didn't speak to you first. If she has a good reason, OK. If not, start therapist shopping. The therapist has to work for YOU and difficult child. Not just for difficult child. If she is just listening to difficult child moan and wail, and not keeping difficult child accountable for her own behavior and happiness, then she is no good and needs to be replaced. Even if difficult child moans and wails about having a new therapist. difficult child's total happiness needs to be placed on difficult child NOW, before she becomes 18 and truly unmanageable. So push the therapist to work WITH you, to set goals and let you know what tehy are, or find a therapist that WILL do those things.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that difficult child is not making progress in taking responsibility for her own happiness. I agree you need to put the responsibility for this on her shoulders. It would not be preparing her for life on her own if you didn't push her to take this on her own shoulders. </p><p></p><p>Vent, Whine and Moan as needed here - we are here and we understand!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 287823, member: 1233"] You need to go to an appointment without difficult child. Go in just by yourself and INSIST on telling the therapist the history, things like the shoe tieing and her insisting on being dependent on you, everything. Let the therapist see how it REALLY is, including her perceptions about being happy (include the art journal, even take it if you can). Then INSIST on seeing the therapist for 10 minutes to give an update on how difficult child has been - 10 ninutes every session. Or every other session. But regularly. If therapist won't do this, change tdocs. The therapist NEEDS your input to teach appropriate skills to difficult child. She did difficult child no good service by not seeing you first. A difficult child has NO ability to impose real life on her behaviors. So the therapist cannot get a view of how things really are until you meet with therapist. Don't pay for any more sessions until the therapist has a session with you. You may have to force the issue. If therapist is unhappy, who cares? She is there to do a job, not to be insisting you make her happy. She still has a job to do. I think this therapist is irresponsible to not speak to you first. In a session confront her with this. Ask her WHY she didn't speak to you first. If she has a good reason, OK. If not, start therapist shopping. The therapist has to work for YOU and difficult child. Not just for difficult child. If she is just listening to difficult child moan and wail, and not keeping difficult child accountable for her own behavior and happiness, then she is no good and needs to be replaced. Even if difficult child moans and wails about having a new therapist. difficult child's total happiness needs to be placed on difficult child NOW, before she becomes 18 and truly unmanageable. So push the therapist to work WITH you, to set goals and let you know what tehy are, or find a therapist that WILL do those things. I am sorry that difficult child is not making progress in taking responsibility for her own happiness. I agree you need to put the responsibility for this on her shoulders. It would not be preparing her for life on her own if you didn't push her to take this on her own shoulders. Vent, Whine and Moan as needed here - we are here and we understand!! [/QUOTE]
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difficult child's therapist - frustrated
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