Difficult son (12yr old)

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ivymon_fairy, Dec 4, 2015.

  1. ivymon_fairy

    ivymon_fairy New Member

    I am at my wits end with my son. I dont know what to do. He lies a lot causes fights with family members. So bad that it is causing my step son and i to have bad chest pains. I dont know what else to do. He has been diagnosed with adhd. I think that there may be something more to it. I feel that he enjoys causing fights no matter how much positive attention he gets. I just dont know how to deal with it. I'm on the verge of hurting my self. Do to the stress. It is getting to the point of me loosing my marriage.

    ivy
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Can you give us background info on your son? Was he adopted? Did he have a choatic early life or see or experience abuse from maybe bio. father? Have you ever taken him for a total evaluation by, say, a neuropsychologist? Any genetic mental illness or addiction issues on either side of his family tree?

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Are YOU going for help to make sure YOU are ok? This is NOT your fault and if you are overly depressed, your life matters and you need to do what you need to do in order to be well...do not hurt yourself. Get help for yourself. Most of us need outside professional help to get through very difficult times with our children. Maybe you and your husband could seek marital counseling. A difficult child takes a toll on the whole family.
     
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You don't say how old he is. But... around the start of the teenage years, lots of kids have problems that "surface". Some were there before but the kid can sometimes fly under the radar for quite a while - until the advanced social interactions of high school, usually. Other problems don't come into play until after puberty.

    One thing is for sure. If your "mommy-gut" says there is more going on, then you are probably right. We (moms) get discounted by schools and doctors, but it's amazing how often we are right.

    Has he ever had a comprehensive evaluation? The kind that takes 6-10 hours of intensive testing over multiple days, and includes input from teachers and parents? If not, it would be worth pursuing.

    Meanwhile, look at developing a log of everything you already know. There is a template for this on this site (haven't had to find it for a while, but it's there)
     
  4. ivymon_fairy

    ivymon_fairy New Member

    He's 12. Yes he has and they tested his iq it's 107.

    ivy
     
  5. ivymon_fairy

    ivymon_fairy New Member

    They didn't find anything else.

    ivy
     
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Are any of his behaviors like his dad? (your ex)
    Are there any other children involved?
    How long ago did you start living with your current spouse and his son?
    When did these behaviors start - recently? or always been there on some level and just got worse?
    Has he changed schools since grade 1? how often?

    Just looking for trigger points.
     
  7. ivymon_fairy

    ivymon_fairy New Member

    He did see some by his dad and my ex fancie. No I haven't yet. I haven't found one in my area that takes my insurance. His dad has a narsistic personally and so does his grandpa. My family I have bipolar, psychosis, anxiety. I'm on medications. It has been hard to see my councler. He is biological.

    ivy
     
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If he hasn't seen a psychiatrist or, better yet, a neuropsychologist, with your family history, it is probably a good idea for him to be completely evaluated. If he is a danger to anybody, you may have to consider rersidential treatment so hes can't harm anyone and he can get more help than if he were at home.
     
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