Disability Hearing is Over...now the wait.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Jan 20, 2011.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Only easy child/difficult child and his attorney spoke. The attorney told easy child/difficult child "we have enough and don't need your Mom". Evidently the lawyer is pleased with how it went. A couple of interesting things that he shared with me. The Judge asked him about his stay in jail and asked how long he was there. easy child/difficult child said almost a year. Attorney interjected that his response was inaccurate due to his memory problems...he was there less than six months. Then she added that he was arrested because the police believed that due to his behavior he was drunk. Then included that he had asked for a blood test to prove that he wasn't, which was denied and that his behavioral pattern was in fact due to his Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). He was asked directly if he could get a job. He replied that he probably could get a job...but...that he was not capable of maintaining the job due to his deficits. Veru iinteresting. The other interesting thing is that the attorney said they should hear in about one month. I had heard that it would be three or four. Guess the suspense will be over fairly soon. DDD
     
  2. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    All the best; I hope it comes through. The answer easy child/difficult child gave about likely being able to get a job but also likely being unable to keep it probably went over well. Honest and straightforward.
    Hope the suspense from here on in is short ... :)
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    He gave a very good answer. They always ask that question. I answered that yes, I could probably work a part-time job but that I couldnt consistently tell an employer which days I would be available and my good days and hours tended to vary from week to week. Sometimes I was feeling ok during the mid-afternoon while other days I was having a flare and I was just miserable then. Other times I had insomnia and was up all night and couldnt wake up till 2 or 3.

    The judge asked me if I thought I could work as a toll both attendant. I said, well, I dont know because I have no idea what that would entail. I have never seen a job for a toll booth person anywhere near where we live so I cant see where that would be applicable. Really...I would have to move at least 6 hours away to work for a toll booth and who is to say one would hire me! Plus I own my own house here...duh.

    Oh...I heard on my hearing in one week but that probably isnt normal. I was an expedited hearing because my house was going into foreclosure because of tax liens and I had been waiting on my hearing for over 2 years. The judge actually told the lawyer the answer was yes at the hearing but I had to wait for the paperwork to come in the mail. My hearing was on May 17. I had check in hand by July 10th.
     
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Sounds good, 3D. I wouldn't be surprised if it were closer to a month. It really only depends upon how long it takes for the judge's office to prepare and sign the papers. {{{{{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
     
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I figure March is going to be a month to remember. He gets off probation in March baring anything happening that violates his rules. The disability people may award him a retroactive check. Then comes the proof of the pudding. Will he pay us back for his probation money and then go off to do his own thing locally??? or, by some miracle will he say "I'm ready to move out of Dodge and try to make a better life for myself in Georgia." I'm not a gambler but I sure as heck wouldn't lay any wagers on the outcome of this. Of course, GFGmom is eager for him to get the big bucks. I'm sure she has big plans! :nonono: DDD
     
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My bets would be on gfgmom deciding that her precious son needs to come home to live with mommy because she "wuvs and misses" him so much...barf barf.
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Double Barf, Janet. She has already told easy child/difficult child that when he get his money he needs to repay her for the rent money at the apartment for the past three months or so. ONLY GFGmom would say that with a straight face....the rent money is paid by difficult child's disability money that she has been confiscating for years and years and years. What a piece of work!

    I'm also sure she will encourage him to stay "at home" as she'll miss him and to buy himself a good new car off the bat.

    Fighting her is like fighting a hurricane that changes course and direction every few days. Impossible. DDD
     
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Good luck, D3!

    Hugs,
    Suz
     
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD....can you do something immediately if he gets approved...call the Social Security office without telling anyone and just tell them that easy child/difficult child has that Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and you dont feel he is capable of handling his money on his own because of that. Tell them that you feel he could be taken advantage of and you feel that he would best be served by an agency that works as his representative payee because he wouldnt make a good choice of picking one. He would be likely to pick a person who would take advantage of him that way too. People do that all the time. Lots of times, SW's at DSS are the payee's.
     
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It's a valid idea, Janet, but his difficult child side would absolutely kick in. I don't doubt for a second that he would opt for his dear Mom to be the representative payee. He knows full well the subtle ongoing issues over money control. He does not respect his Mom. He also absolutely wants to be independent. He's 23 years old and his former "good friends" have graduated from college and have begun careers. We decided to draw our line in the sand a few months ago. He tries to relocate and make a new life for himself with our full familial support or he opts to stay here and do his own thing. There really can't be any middle ground. I am hoping for the best but fully prepared for the worst. I can not get GFGmom out of the picture. I've been trying for years. Her influence is ever present. She sees herself as a great Mom. Sigh. DDD
     
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I mean dont tell him it is your idea. I am Cory's payee because SS says he needs one. Not because I want to be. Many times SS decides that a person needs a payee because of their issues. This may be one time that they make that decision on their own anyway.

    I dont know who decided Slsh's son thank you needed a payee. Or Mustang's son. But they both have payees. It is possible that SS decides off the bat that it will be that way. If it comes down to that, I would push hard for an institutional payee.
     
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    He was informed that he could have a payee if he needed one. Of course, he doesn't need one. I understand that they could be pressed to require a payee...but his GFGmom would trump his grandparents. If her were to relocate then he would have the full awareness of monetary obligations. There is a chance that his easy child side would step up to the plate. If he stays here I don't see any positive coming out of it. I'm hoping I am wrong! DDD
     
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