Disability & Me

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Aug 9, 2012.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I really don't want to go there, as you all know. But things are pushing me in that direction whether I like it or not. And no, it's not just the heart & kidneys.

    There is something wrong with my brain. It's beginning to scare me, quite a lot. It's one of the reasons the anxiety is up so high.....and unfortunately, that only makes the problem worse as it freezes up my brain even more.

    Yes, I have a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I've been dealing with that for almost 9 yrs now.

    Maybe it's just a case of I depending on or husband picked up much more slack than I realized he did........and now I'm seeing the effects of that. But I don't think so.

    Pre Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) I had a photographic memory for anything I wanted to remember. Yes, I could and did pick and chose what was retained that way. Post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) my short term memory is as much a joke as anything and IF something makes it to a much more long term type memory thing it's because I have to make it a point to go over it many many times to make it so.......and then, it can still be lost, often permanently. The latter happens far more than I ever admit to anyone, including myself. Self denial can be great at times. Until you can no longer ignore it, that is.

    I had a "mild" Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), in other words, I wasn't in a coma after injury. (although I wasn't quite present and accounted for either for about 2 yrs) In fact, ER docs never even realized there was an injury, although they did a CAT scan. (MRI is the only thing that dxes a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) by the way) The skull fracture didn't show up on the CAT because it was a compression fracture which pushed in on the brain. Think big dent because that is what I have in the back of my head to this day. I brought the injury to bone doctor (no at the moment I can't recall what they're called) attention during an exam because at first it was also an open wound that I thought would feel better when it healed, only it didn't. He felt the area and diagnosis a compression fracture and said that they're usually missed.

    Those first 2 yrs......other than snippets of buying the house, Darrin's birth......let's just say I don't remember much. I "remember" more other people's memories, if you get my drift. They're not real memories. Actually if I"m honest with myself, I remember not much over the course over the past 9 yrs. I remember things I deemed critical enough to focus on to try to get it stored long term. I can remember Travis had the stroke, I can remember "about when" due to other reasons, but I can't give you an exact when.....I *think* it was 18-19 yrs of age because that is when I was in my first year of school (which is how recall it) and I wrote a paper on his polycythemia diagnosis that came from that stroke. Know what I mean?? Things now committed to long term memory I can just call up because I want it, nor how I want it either. It can come up in bits and pieces.......or not come up at all until long past when I needed it. This made doing interviews with Travis for disability very difficult because they wanted exact dates ect and I just couldn't give it to them. (bad because I was the only one alive with the knowledge of so much of his medical history)

    Memory is only one thing I deal with by far post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).

    I've often spoke about the money issues where I have times when I stare at my wallet and don't have a frigging clue what to hand the cashier or when she hands me back change it doesn't seem right to me. It's embarrassing at best, but while I've dealt with this over 9 yrs, it's gotten worse, not better with time. This past year.....I have brain shut down. It's not anxiety. I'm so used to this now that it no longer causes anxiety. But if I try to force it, the brain shuts down and there is like literally a black room inside my head. I cope by handing out what I believe is more than being asked for......often though, I have to dig up more money or the cashier will had me money back (prior to giving change) because I'm not even close.

    easy child has finally admitted that while she was aware of this prior to last summer, when shopping with me she noticed how bad it had become........and has continued shopping with me to help me. I have brain shut down with coupons. It takes me literally hours to finally come up with my plan ahead of time (and it HAS to be ahead of time). IF for whatever reason an item from the list is missing...........well, well just say it's not uncommon for me to either get really frustrated and flustered (because I can't change the preset plan like that) and often I put everything back and refuse to buy anything unless easy child gets stubborn and reworks the plan for me. (which is likely to tick me off as much as make me happy) Travis, and we all know the issues he has, has had to help talk me through deals when I forget what I'm doing, easy child too. It's somewhat pathetic. in my opinion

    Math........uh, seems I have issues adding with a calculator at hand. Now how that is I have no clue because I'm careful. This is one of the reasons those darn plans take so long. omg We did drug stores last week........I prepped for ONE cuz the others didn't have anything I even remotely wanted/needed. It took me 3 1/2 hrs people for a list of like 6 items. And then easy child looked at it once I got into the car.......and I still had added it up wrong. Math has gotten much much worse for me over the past 2 yrs. (so obviously before husband's death) I had trouble before but nothing like this, not this severe. I think I'm doing it right, seriously. It's disturbing on a very profound level to believe you're doing it right but you're not.

    I've always had an issue with claustrophobia. But it's not all fear based. Small places, yes. Crowded rooms, no. Crowded areas, no. Post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), it's purely a sensory thing. I want to escape and it takes everything I've got not to do so. It doesn't matter one bit who the people are either. Nor does it matter if I want to be there. The board gathering? I loved every minute, yet every minute I was fighting the urge/need to escape. Not fear, too much going on at once. Too many voices. Too much movement ect. This too, has grown worse, not better over time. That last year in school I had to literally get up and force myself to go. Now? It's a minor miracle to get me to leave the house without a family member. (in my opinion they can referee or talk and I can concentrate on not try to get out of the situation) I'll admit it can create anxiety because I dread the sensory overload. But it's not anxiety based. This too has grown worse over time regardless of working hard all these years to if not make it better than to keep it in check. In class I dealt/coped with it by focusing on notes, not the class itself. But for like labs......chemistry, biology ect.......omg thank heaven I always seemed to have a close friend to lean on because I suddenly became about as useful as a 2 yr old. (I'm being honest here, for the first time on some of this, even to myself) Even in clinicals it was that way. When I worked alone, I'd take one task at a time and focus solely on that task until I found myself in a comfort zone of sorts I could deal with. But I think I had a guardian angel watching over me because not once, not a single time, did I have a patient that required more than a bed bath or a bed pan. (old knowledge) And we all know what happened that one horrid day in clinical when my brain shut down on me for an entire 8 hrs and I could barely speak let alone write a sentence that made sense. (and you've no idea the effort it took to do what little I could manage of each) What triggered it? I was prepared for it to be one way......in other words I go in and do such and such. But the student working with me that day didn't show up, so it changed suddenly. I don't deal with sudden change well at all. I didn't do too bad at first, I was trying to talk myself through it, but when the instructor came down hard because she was peeved at the other student not showing up it added stress, and sent me over the edge into brain shut down and I was basically a useless zombie the rest of the day. Scared the living crud out of me because while I'd experienced brain shut down for years, it was never that severe or lasted that long. No way in hades was it anxiety. Even a severe anxiety attack usually tops out at 20 mins. This was 8 HOURS. I have no clue how I got home that day.

    I have major issues with forms of any kind or bills. I just got the welfare forms and I can't make head nor tails out of the darn things. CW instructions are no help either. Bills.......if I can easily spot the "amt due" I'm ok, otherwise.......I'm in trouble. Don't confuse me with individual charges, just tell me boldly what you want darn it. husband took care of bills and forms post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). He didn't argue. He knew for me to hand that responsibility over to him was an enormous deal and that I didn't do so lightly.

    I have huge issues with processing large amounts of information at a time, (remember 90 percent of school was old knowledge, and "new" is long gone), I have trouble following instructions, if they're too involved, forget it, I can't make sense out of it. I have major issues when a routine is altered. Which is causing me huge issues right now as with easy child's varying schedule I can't develop a daily routine to follow so much of the time I feel "lost". Let's just say I don't adapt to change well these days.......and it's an understatement. Planning ahead, which is something I used to pride myself on...........really tough now.

    Time. Now I know I've posted on this subject before. But everyone misunderstood what I was getting at. I lose time. I can't keep track of it. When I posted time was getting away from me at an alarming rate........I didn't mean the natural time seems to move faster thing as you grow older.........I mean it literally is something I can NOT keep track of. I "lose" it. And it's becoming a major problem. I can think 2 days have passed. It will have been 2 weeks or 2 months. If there are holidays floating around it is usually only weeks.......no holidays of importance to me and I can lose months at a shot. Maggie will be getting her last set of puppy shots a month late because I literally lost a month. We just had the internet shut off because I somehow lost 2 months for payments........although I was sure I'd just paid it. It's the first time something has been shut off........but not the first time I've lost a month or 2 with a bill or house payment. AND this is after easy child set it up so I could pay it online. They send me a notice so I can pay the darn bill. Now what I did after the notice I haven't a blasted clue. Obviously I *thought* I'd paid them because I've tried to be anal about it since husband died so I wouldn't miss any. Evidently what I *thought* I was doing, I wasn't doing. Oh, and the state taxes got paid 3 months after I had them filed because I set them down and totally forgot they existed. Subject didn't come up so it never entered my mind.

    I avoid using things, like the new lawn mower or weed eater, because I can't seem to retain HOW to use the darn things. Same thing with pumping gas for myself. I never do it alone. Ever. For some odd reason it's "complicated" enough that if it doesn't trigger brain freeze/shut down, it can take me forever to finally figure out on my own how to do it.

    Reading a novel has become difficult. I have to go back over pages repeatedly. Reading posts here is becoming difficult especially long ones......I often have to reread a couple of times.

    Now folks when Travis who has his own set of issues due to Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is noticing and bringing things to my attention........there is a problem.

    Evidently my girls have been picking up on these any probably many more over the past year and it's I think scaring them. (hahaha they have no clue what it's doing to ME) That is why they've been pushing for me to try disability, not so much the heart/kidneys.

    It's getting worse. It shouldn't be. I dunno why it would be getting worse. Doesn't help that often people with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) later develop Alzheimers. (oh gee, yup that makes me feel better)

    easy child is also wondering if I had a stroke recently that was missed. I am too since I've been getting rather peeved off that everyone seems to have issues understanding me when I speak. They swear I've said basically gobble dy gook when I know I've said.....well, whatever I've said. Now? I'm not so sure I'm saying what I think I'm saying. It's not all the time, but fairly often lately. And there have been periods where I go to stand up and set my left leg down or go to take a step with that leg.......and if it plants itself, I want to go straight but go left laterally instead. So if I don't wind up leaning over looking like an idiot, or standing trying to get my left foot to go to the floor, I'm walking side ways left when I want to go straight. It just sometimes doesn't want to cooperate. It was doing that often a while back and sort of stopped on it's own.

    It doesn't take me much to get confused.

    There is far to much for me to put here. Probably a million different little and big things that I don't even think about or maybe am not aware of even......that don't come to mind until that moment. The ones here are the huge ones that slap me upside the head day in and out. (makes it hard to forget LOL )

    I've dealt with the kidney disease most of my life. I've cope with everything from literally a year or more in hospital to severe chronic pain. I had the heart attack and don't ask me when because I can't tell you. (nice huh?) Those things I take in stride. This? The Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)? I used to take in stride for years as I found ways to cope. But when it started to get worse.......then the denial started because lemme tell you, it's scary as holy hades. I can't even remember when it started to get worse.

    I can tell you all this because you are my extended family. I am not comfortable watching easy child's boys just do to my health, but also due to the issues post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I've discovered I'm having sensory issues there too. Three little guys can and often do put me into sensory overload. So far, I've been able to cope. It doesn't affect my functioning.......I've cared for kids the vast majority of my life, I think I can do it on auto pilot. It does affect my mood by making me angry when I shouldn't be (it's a reaction to overload, I want to make it stop and I can't) and I do manage to keep it under wraps where they have no clue Nana is anything but sweet Nana but by the time a shift is over I'm exhausted, mentally and physically.

    I tried to tell myself this last year has been due to grief. Uh, not really. I could fool myself that way until the grief pretty much subsided. But it has not improved. I know that chronic renal failure can cause cognitive issues if the B6 deficiency is not treated (mine isn't at the moment except best I can do with OTC) and as toxins build up in the blood stream. But I've never heard of it causing the sorts of issues I'm having. It might on some of the confusion.....most likely none of the rest.

    So. The other day easy child talked to me about why she was sort of pushing disability. Which made me have to really stop denying and take a good long look at reality.

    I don't like what I see. Reality makes me vulnerable. Due to my childhood, I don't do vulnerable. Vulnerable scares me to literally death. (and I'm not scared of much, trust me) I think I've just figured out why my anxiety is through the roof and why I can't get it under control.

    If the girls, either both or whatever, will literally walk with me through the process, I will do disability. Only because I don't' have a clue how I could hold down a job with the brain issues to the degree they are now. And that is horrendously depressing. :sigh: But I don't see much option. How can I land a job if I can't manage the application, for pete's sake?

    So there it is. The admission to myself as much as to you all. An admission that has me sitting here in a state of panic because it makes me vulnerable. I have to be in control. Not a control freak, I don't have to be in control of anyone else, just me. If I lose that control......... Well, then........I just don't know what will happen. :(
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Wow Hound. I didn't realize all this was going on. Now you've got ME worried about you. It really is a hard thing to admit you're vulnerable in any way. My childhood has made me crave control too so I can only imagine how this is affecting you. I am soooooo glad you have the girls to help watch over you and help you with things like shopping, etc. I doubt either of them would have a problem helping with the application process.

    Just out of curiosity, when was the last time you saw a neurologist and/or had an MRI. You might want to have that looked in to so 1) they are aware things are getting worse, 2) you have recent medical verification for the disability process, and 3) the cause could be found and treatment could be started.

    Please take care of yourself and take whatever help you can get. For crying out loud, you've done your duty and now it's time for them to help YOU.

  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Oh, Lisa.
    Major, major {{hugs}}.

    First you have to go "there"... disability.
    Then, maybe, you can get help... at least to a level that improves the quality of life.

    Extended family member with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) due to car accident.
    Can no longer drive, can't do many things.
    On full-time-equivalent disability income.
    But... once they got him to that point? They put him through all sorts of specialists and trials, and... there are medications that help. For him - they treated it as though he had ADHD and narcoplexy. Which meant adding a stimulant. He still can't drive - but he does hold down a full-time job, and they only reduced his disability by half of his income (it's how the system works here).
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Lisa - biggest thing here - HUGS. LOTS of them, and gentle ones at that. You're right, we ARE your family.

    And while I don't have any answers, I do think the girls helping you navigate the disability paperwork is an excellent idea. And knowing them... They will.

    I have some ideas that I'm going to PM you either here or on fb... :hugs:
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Tedo, I have never had an MRI. Would be interesting to see what one might show. I imagine quite a lot as I share many many issues with Travis now. But none was ever done. Bone doctor wouldn't do it, not really a reason to, he was treating my shoulders. I didn't have the presence of mind to even ask for at least 2 yrs......and really, not even after that until recently, maybe the past couple of years.

    It's hard to put much of this into words, describing it is difficult. I can still drive, thank heaven above, although pumping gas is a challenge. Go figure. But that is just the way it works. I might lose a short term memory in less than 30 seconds or months later, this same memory may come right back if triggered by something someone says/does or it might not resurface for months or whatever when something else triggers it. (or it might not come back at all) Totally random. Totally frustrating.

    I've also noticed I can no longer spell worth squat. I did have issues with this post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), they resolved for a while, but it's back and has been back for more than a year. Thank god for spell check. LOL

    I hope to heaven above they have medications to help, but no one suggested them post Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) when I discussed this with docs, other than the anxiety ones.......so I dunno. Those I think made the symptoms worse in my opinion even back then. But like I said, all of this has gotten worse, so maybe they didn't feel the need then. dunno.

    And our disability insurance.......well, someone correct me if I'm wrong.........I don't get the impression it's that proactive if you get my drift. Maybe for a child, but I've not seen it for an adult.

    I had to laugh because as Travis was describing some of the skill/IQ whatever tests they were having him do..........I would so flunk them. :eggonface:
  6. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Are you talking about Social Security Disability or something else entirely? The reason I mentioned a neurologist and MRI is because Soc Sec would make you have all that done by THEIR professionals, whom I'd never trust by the way. Because the symptoms seem to be getting worse, I really would make an appointment with one and at least get a paper trail going. And, who knows, maybe there is some hope out there!! LOL
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    (((((hugs))))) You do need to apply for disability-no shame in that. If your daughters think you may have had a stroke please get this checked out. About a year and a half ago my mom was at the eye doctor and told the person who brought her to take her to ER. The eye doctor told her that sometime in the past few days she had a stroke. Please get checked out!
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa...do you wanna talk? We share so many things. Actually talking might be interesting while we say...you know...that thing that does the well, you know, its round and goes rrrrr. LOL.

    Honey, I do know what you mean. My short term is shot. I have no clue about mid 2008 to about mid 2009. I can tell you lots of what happened because I read stuff on this board...lmao. I actually printed out the posts that were on here about me while I was in the hospital and put them in a folder along with all the cards and letters that were sent to me. Thats how I know what happened to me.

    I cant do math anymore either. I dont carry cash anymore either. I use a debit card so I can just slide it. I have to check my cell phone daily to see what day it is. (Mine is a smartphone that tells me the day and weather on the front) I also keep my medicine in a weekly pill box or I would never take them right.

    It takes me sometimes an hour or more to write a post and if there is one that isnt split up...I can barely read it. I think thats why mine are so split up.

    My balance is off and I walk into things. Billy is wondering if I am getting senile. Just the other day I was so tired I walked out of a store without my purse. Thankfully he was there to pick it up. Most times I take my purse and forget what I bought at the store until the clerks run after me with my bag...lol. I hardly leave the house either. Only if I have to.

    I do have long term memory for filling out the disability forms and social services stuff because that was a long time ago. If you need help with that, let me know or you can have the girls contact me. I have a ton of tips.
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Lisa, Go to the dr's. all of them and relate everything to them. Everything has to be documented by a dr for your hearing. I didn't want to go here, but I have my own disability hearing on Monday the 13th for my own issues. Call B and B, they can speed up the entire process and they have certain forms, their own, to expidite it all. They will help you through the process. Nobody want this, but if you need it- you need it. I know how frustrating it is to lose time.

    I lost my entire pocketbook, it's in easy child's car until he gets back after being gone a week (tonight). My license, everything I need is in there.....My brain doesn't work right from not having nutrition. I have isues that have gone on too long and my dysmorphic eyes never heal. I can and am drugged to eat- but no way can I work around kids on these and they won't take me off them. Because I end up in the hospital. I'm sorry, too much information, but I do know you need to be under a doctors care and get everything documented. I go to movies and have NO idea what is going on. I used to be a normal person, something went wrong and I can't seem to fix it, it's been so long. At some point you have to accept your limitations. Everything will be ok. Start the process, the worst that can happen is they say no (they won't).
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet, we need to get on the phone and chat sometime. It would be a riot. Of course you might make it for when you can stay up awhile as I've a strong feeling we'd get going and the time would get away from us. LOL

    Sharon, I didn't even start on the vision. The eye doctor and I have been arguing for like 3 plus years. He tells me my glasses should be fine, I tell him I can't read much of anything without a magnifying glass, which is stupid with bifocals. grr But like Travis, it might be as much neuro as visual........that too only dawned on me recently.

    Tedo, that's why I'm hoping they give me medicaid. Then fam doctor can refer......and the tests can be done, by people I trust, people I know will listen to me and should have no issue backing me up. But I can't afford the visits right now out of pocket.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    many quiet, soft hugs.

    Definitely, document everything you have going on, when you apply for Medicaid. And I vote for an MRI, if you can find some way to pay for it.

    In the meantime, when filling out forms, take a piece of blank, white paper and put it near the top of the page and move it after you have completed each line you write in. If you need to, cut a horizontal hole in the middle of a piece of paper so you can also cover up what you've already written, to reduce distractions.

    Also, don't forget that the light from computer monitors can be dangerous and distracting, so either get an anti-glare cover (maybe on ebay or Craigslist) or just limit your computer time.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I cant write anymore for the life of me, I need to fill out forms online so I type everything. It gives me the ability to sit there, spell check, and have the time to figure out what I want to say. Also, word has a thing that is like a Parent Report but its a medical journal for us to keep all our info in. I had one that I was keeping years ago but it is on my other computer and backed up on my external hard drive. That is my second one. I lost my first one when I quit my job. Thats when I lost my parent report.

    I can help you or your daughters enter your initial...app online. Well, no you cant because unless you have worked substantially for the last ten quarters, you are not going to qualify for regular disability. You will get SSI but you may get more because of widows benefits. I have no idea how that plays into it. Especially when also having a disabled son who has been disabled since before your husband died. This could get sticky. I want you to call one of the Big Boys. Binder and Binder, AlSup, one of those. I would advocate for mine but he is in GA. Normally they want you to have one denial but in your case they may take you on initially in your condition. Call and ask for an office near you. Then when you do, tell them that you are destitute. I had waited so long for my hearing and was getting ready for my house to go into foreclosure due to back taxes. I couldnt get them to lower them to the amount for disabled people until I was pronounced disabled by a government entity. I would not handle this at the county level and I would make triple copies of everything that was sent to everyone. You dont want to lose anything and you dont want to say anything different to anyone else. Buy big plastic file folder tubs marked LISA Disability and Travis Disability. It will come in handy because you get sent forms over and over in the mail that seem like the same thing you just filled out. If you have the one you just filled out you can just fill it back in or you can ship it off to the company doing your work with a photocopy of what you put on the attached copy. With a nice big DUH comment on it.
  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janet, you have no clue how much better it makes me feel that you have similar issues. I don't mean I'm glad you do........but I think you know what I mean.

    I wonder......if I could somehow fund a trip to fam doctor (or hopefully get the medicaid), he can order an MRI.......and other test due to symptoms. Now we have this odd thing around here and well, I have never in my life seen it work this way so I'll confess I don't understand it. But I know docs in this area literally help their patients get disability if they feel it's necessary. I know with a friend, they literally walked her through the process somehow and she swore they did all the paperwork for her. (I have no clue how this was done, it was the first time I'd heard of such a thing) I know several other cases. And yes, all of them needed disability. I know that when Travis saw the neuro here after his stroke, he was determined the boy should've been on disability the moment he turned 18 so as not to be hindered by husband's income and was all fired up to see to it that it happened. We didn't get into details because at the time I was against it. But when the docs actively help, a patient is never turned down and gets pushed through faster.

    Never, until moving here, have I heard of a doctor helping you get disability. But it has happened over and over again.

    If fam doctor can order the MRI (I can get county to pay for it with no income, just not the doctor visit ect) at least I'll have one done by a doctor I trust. Oddly though, around here........the docs, unless it's obvious for whatever reason you're trying to scam the system or are not to that level yet, that disability uses are pretty much go with the flow take you at your word sort of people. (as long as the test back you up)

    I wonder if 1. that explains why we have so many people in this town on disability and 2. or if we have so many people who need disability is the reason docs can help with the process (because I know why a great deal are disabled.....3 OBs who should've had their licenses revoked decades ago. Stay in this town 3 days and you'll be amazed, no joke. We weren't here a week when I turned to husband and said Do you realize the ratio of disabled persons to "normal" persons in this town is off the charts? Disabled as in some form of brain injury due to birth trauma. It was really disturbing until I discovered the reason why.)
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am going to tell you that it used to be much easier to get on disability. We had a doctor like that here too who would just push his patients and get them onto disability. Now? OMG, its almost an act of congress. You are going to have to have doctor paperwork and all that. Im not sure how easy it is to get an adult on medicaid out there with a doctors note saying they are disabled. I couldnt even get it when they knew I was in the application process but lets just say I have a feeling I was always denied anything they thought they could legally get away with. I would most likely won on appeal but it would have taken me years to get through that too.

    Try to get on your county medicaid or somehow into the low income clinics and then call one of the Big Boys to handle your disability case. Dont be afraid of them because they are lawyers. You dont pay them upfront or if you lose. They wont even take your case if they dont think they can win. And they will win.
  15. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Primarily I am sending caring hugs your way. I can only imagine how upsetting it must be to face the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) issues in addition to the other problems. My difficult child#1 literally just had his appeals hearing yesterday in Tampa. He used one of the law firms that specialize in Disability claims. Due to his short term memory problems and lack of sustained focus it was valuable to have them "in charge" of the processing. There seems to be a good chance that he will win the appeal. Part of me fears him receiving a large check because his impulsivity may result in a new car with chrome wheels instead of a well planned course of action. Sigh.

    Do you have ONE special place where you pretty consistently store important papers? If you do I would like to suggest that today you print a copy of your post and put that paper in the safe place. Your description in this post is not only touching...it demonstrates the multiple ways you are impacted by the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) disability. If you go to the Dr. (and truthfully I don't recall whether you have health care available or not...just hope so) and give him a copy of this post he will grasp the scope of your problems and you won't have to worry about forgetting to share some aspect.

    I am so glad that your girls have offered to help. I, too, have great difficulty giving up control so I do understand. If you can get appropriate diagnosis's and care I think it will alleviate some of the stress and fear. As always I want the very best to come your way. Hugs DDD
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have SSDI. I don't think you'd have a problem getting it, especially since you have cognitive deficits due to your Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). "Cognitive deficits" is one thing that they feel is legit.

    I'm terrible with forms and always have been so my hub helped me fill out the form. It's true that a paper trail is a very good thing. Also, more than one doctor recommending it is also good. I think you have legitimate reasons to need it. I would not be ashamed. You really do have serious problems that would impede you from working. Only cheaters should be ashamed and you would not be a cheater.
  17. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Lisa, we went thru two years of trying to get SO on disability - I can't count how many times we had to resend paperwork because the disability office stated the never "received" them. Make it a practice that everytime you get paper from a doctor, or fill out their paperwork, make two or three copies of it. I actually had 5 files that when we got a paper from the doctor, it went in each file. That way I had a current up to date copy to hand out "one more time" and I had the worker sign that she received it.

    Also, what got the ball rolling for us is we called the local congress person in frustration. He had people on his staff that were dedicated to fixing government screw ups - within two weeks SO started to get his disability. You vote for them - call them when you need help

  18. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    {{{{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}} Lisa. That's what we're here for. We're the best sounding board that I know. I've watched a lot of folks apply for SSI, and initially be turned down, regardless of how many doctors they have. My advice is always apply and describe your worst day. An employer expects you to be up to snuff every day and will let you go because of just one or two of your worst days.

    This is very important: Apply for as far back as you have been off work and were disabled. We had a guy work for us who had congestive heart failure, diabetes, asthma, hypertension, etc., and he physically could not perform the work. We had to let him go, and we gave him a letter of dismissal saying that it was because he could not perform the work anymore. He then tried to find employment for over a year. But in 2009, who was going to hire a 55 year old 400 pound man who wheezes? He finally bit the bullet and applied for disability. He was accepted right away, and got back disability to the day we let him go. His first check was over $14,000.

    If you apply and are denied, make an appointment with a Social Security attorney tomorrow. Don't hire the one that advertises on TV, ask your state bar to refer you to someone or ask a friend. You'll get your SSI very soon after that and by law the attorney is only allowed to take 33% of your first check. So, if your first check is one month's worth of disability, they get 33% of that. If you wait and your first check is a year's worth of disability, they get 33% of that.

    Good luck and don't feel badly about this. This comes to all of us at some point in our lives. It doesn't mean it's the end of anything, just that it's a beginning for something new. When you have your disability settled, you will feel a great weight lifted off of your shoulders.
  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Witz...they can only get 25% or up to $5200. Its a set rate. At least it is with the people that SSA approves to represent you. They have to approve anyone who is representing a person attempting to get help with disability.
  20. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Hound -

    before you write yourself off ------have a hormone panel done. I know you know yourself ------and I know you are a phoneominal nurse and way more medical than I'll ever be ------but I think it's something you should check into. I know when I get a minute - a LOT of the things you are describing - are also the cause of improper hormone balance. And .....quite surprisingly easily and CHEAPLY fixed. Not the vision - but a lot of the other things like memory -and that's the NUMBER one reason I'm going) I dunno maybe it's like you say - but what if it isn't and for once......I have a point? (just sayin)

    Love you.