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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 130598" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>I have a different view of a timeout. I see it as a cooling-off period anytime things get out of hand (as in destruction of property, agression between siblings or against parents). When the child is calm, he/she is allowed out. If the child begins raging again, the child is escorted again to his room for another timeout until he/she is calm. I never ask the child, "Do you know why you were put in your room?" The child learns that when he behaves in a socially unacceptable manner, he is removed from the family. The child further learns that when he behaves in a socially acceptable manner, he can rejoin the family. It's a matter of cause and effect. Sometime later that day or another day altogether, I might sit with the child and process what occurred (and think of better ways to handle the situation), but never close to the time of the problem because that often incites new raging. </p><p> </p><p>FWIW, my 14-year-old can't always explain why he gets angry and acts the way he does. Sometimes it's just a matter of his brain misfiring, and it's not explainable. We do work on coping techniques, but in the heat of the moment, it's not a good idea to try to figure out what's going wrong. Your son is very young, has speech and developmental delay, and may have brain miswirings you have yet to discover. in my humble opinion, you just need to use the cause-and-effect technique I outlined above.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 130598, member: 2423"] I have a different view of a timeout. I see it as a cooling-off period anytime things get out of hand (as in destruction of property, agression between siblings or against parents). When the child is calm, he/she is allowed out. If the child begins raging again, the child is escorted again to his room for another timeout until he/she is calm. I never ask the child, "Do you know why you were put in your room?" The child learns that when he behaves in a socially unacceptable manner, he is removed from the family. The child further learns that when he behaves in a socially acceptable manner, he can rejoin the family. It's a matter of cause and effect. Sometime later that day or another day altogether, I might sit with the child and process what occurred (and think of better ways to handle the situation), but never close to the time of the problem because that often incites new raging. FWIW, my 14-year-old can't always explain why he gets angry and acts the way he does. Sometimes it's just a matter of his brain misfiring, and it's not explainable. We do work on coping techniques, but in the heat of the moment, it's not a good idea to try to figure out what's going wrong. Your son is very young, has speech and developmental delay, and may have brain miswirings you have yet to discover. in my humble opinion, you just need to use the cause-and-effect technique I outlined above. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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