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<blockquote data-quote="pearlofgrace" data-source="post: 131031" data-attributes="member: 2592"><p>Check out or purchase the book The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene. It describes the reasons why our children are the way they are (the miswirings...skills and pathways they do not have/need to learn...for example, Executive Skills--being able to shift from one mind-set to another or Emotion Regulation Skills, etc.) and how to handle them with CPS (Collaborative Problem Solving--"the problem or unmet expectation is resolved in a mutually satisfactory manner"). Dr. Greene describes an explosive outburst this way: "an explosive outburst--like other forms of maladaptive behavior--occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip that person's capacity to respond adaptively." </p><p></p><p>My difficult child has been this way since toddlerhood and she's ten now. We have done the time out and carrying her to room when she rages (consistently for years believing eventually she would get it and do as she's told)....it has not worked and only triggers her explosive outbursts. I have been reading the above mentioned book and it has helped me and husband learn why that is and how to handle it. It is not an overnight fix but it has been profound in helping us understand why our difficult child cannot help herself, and how we have to be flexible in order to teach her. </p><p></p><p>It is so hard to deal with a child screaming at me and being so irrational and I want to just scream back and sometimes have... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> But that does not help at all, obviously. My difficult child and I are very much alike which makes life even more interesting. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>HTH....blessings to you on this journey.</p><p></p><p>Melanie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pearlofgrace, post: 131031, member: 2592"] Check out or purchase the book The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene. It describes the reasons why our children are the way they are (the miswirings...skills and pathways they do not have/need to learn...for example, Executive Skills--being able to shift from one mind-set to another or Emotion Regulation Skills, etc.) and how to handle them with CPS (Collaborative Problem Solving--"the problem or unmet expectation is resolved in a mutually satisfactory manner"). Dr. Greene describes an explosive outburst this way: "an explosive outburst--like other forms of maladaptive behavior--occurs when the cognitive demands being placed upon a person outstrip that person's capacity to respond adaptively." My difficult child has been this way since toddlerhood and she's ten now. We have done the time out and carrying her to room when she rages (consistently for years believing eventually she would get it and do as she's told)....it has not worked and only triggers her explosive outbursts. I have been reading the above mentioned book and it has helped me and husband learn why that is and how to handle it. It is not an overnight fix but it has been profound in helping us understand why our difficult child cannot help herself, and how we have to be flexible in order to teach her. It is so hard to deal with a child screaming at me and being so irrational and I want to just scream back and sometimes have... :( But that does not help at all, obviously. My difficult child and I are very much alike which makes life even more interesting. :) HTH....blessings to you on this journey. Melanie [/QUOTE]
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