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Discipline when stable???
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<blockquote data-quote="rlsnights" data-source="post: 305867" data-attributes="member: 7948"><p>1. Has he had a speech assessment to clarify whether there might be some subtle language (not literally speech but higher order language) impairment? My son was recently identified as having one and it explained a LOT about some of his difficulties.</p><p></p><p>2. When you say he lies, lies, lies - what exactly is he lying about? Is there a pattern to the things he lies about? If so, this might give you some clues about how to counter the problem more precisely. What is the goal of the lying?</p><p></p><p>3. To counter your feelings of guilt about "constantly" punishing him, you could institute a set period of time each day (preferably very consistent) like 20 minutes every day at 10 am, when you will spend time with him and only him. During this period of time he decides what he will talk about, what you will do together (if anything) - he is totally in charge and you are a relatively passive participant. You do not criticize him, you do not confront any lies, you just accept whatever he says or does during that time - provided of course that it's safe and doesn't involved destruction of property.</p><p></p><p>4. I would be seriously looking at a mood stabilizer to add to his antipsychotic. If he's really bipolar, the hyperactivity could be hypomania and a mood stabilizer might help a lot. </p><p></p><p>5. I don't want you to feel defensive about homeschooling him, but if you feel that he has become skilled at manipulating you perhaps it might be worth considering a different school arrangement. I homeschooled my twins for 2 years and felt it was the absolutely right choice at the time (6th and 7th grade). But we have returned to traditional public school this year and, again, it was the right choice for my children.</p><p></p><p>A more traditional school placement might reduce the manipulation (even if only because he's gone from the home for a few hours) and other adults and peers in a school setting will certainly serve as additional feedback mechanisms that may impact this particular kind of problem behavior. I think you are right to be concerned about this and that every time he succeeds, it reinforces the behavior. </p><p></p><p>6. Adopted children can have special challenges relating to bonding with their adoptive parents. I assume you are familiar with these challenges and the possible treatments out there. If not, I would strongly encourage you to gather information about this and to ask his psychiatrist about whether some of these issues could be associated with an attachment disorder.</p><p></p><p>Best wishes</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rlsnights, post: 305867, member: 7948"] 1. Has he had a speech assessment to clarify whether there might be some subtle language (not literally speech but higher order language) impairment? My son was recently identified as having one and it explained a LOT about some of his difficulties. 2. When you say he lies, lies, lies - what exactly is he lying about? Is there a pattern to the things he lies about? If so, this might give you some clues about how to counter the problem more precisely. What is the goal of the lying? 3. To counter your feelings of guilt about "constantly" punishing him, you could institute a set period of time each day (preferably very consistent) like 20 minutes every day at 10 am, when you will spend time with him and only him. During this period of time he decides what he will talk about, what you will do together (if anything) - he is totally in charge and you are a relatively passive participant. You do not criticize him, you do not confront any lies, you just accept whatever he says or does during that time - provided of course that it's safe and doesn't involved destruction of property. 4. I would be seriously looking at a mood stabilizer to add to his antipsychotic. If he's really bipolar, the hyperactivity could be hypomania and a mood stabilizer might help a lot. 5. I don't want you to feel defensive about homeschooling him, but if you feel that he has become skilled at manipulating you perhaps it might be worth considering a different school arrangement. I homeschooled my twins for 2 years and felt it was the absolutely right choice at the time (6th and 7th grade). But we have returned to traditional public school this year and, again, it was the right choice for my children. A more traditional school placement might reduce the manipulation (even if only because he's gone from the home for a few hours) and other adults and peers in a school setting will certainly serve as additional feedback mechanisms that may impact this particular kind of problem behavior. I think you are right to be concerned about this and that every time he succeeds, it reinforces the behavior. 6. Adopted children can have special challenges relating to bonding with their adoptive parents. I assume you are familiar with these challenges and the possible treatments out there. If not, I would strongly encourage you to gather information about this and to ask his psychiatrist about whether some of these issues could be associated with an attachment disorder. Best wishes [/QUOTE]
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