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Discipline when stable???
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<blockquote data-quote="howlongto18" data-source="post: 305892" data-attributes="member: 3129"><p>Thanks for all the advice. Just to clarify, he's seven now. The homeschooling is not something I feel comfortable changing, I really feel like it's the right thing for him at this time, but we do revisit the decision regularly. He does get feedback from other adults through church and sports and such.</p><p></p><p>The lying is almost always to cover his behind. We point out each and every time that if he'd told the truth his punishment would have been much lighter. When he does tell the truth we reward him for it by lightening the punishment and telling him how proud we are. He likes it and says he's glad he told the truth.</p><p></p><p>The most recent thing was that he took some siding we had for our home (we're replacing a window) and he started cutting it up for a playhouse. I knew we were using the siding but wasn't sure if his Dad had given him a scrap piece so I asked him if his Dad said he could have it. He looked right into my eyes and assured me that his Dad had said yes. First thing that my husband notices when coming home is the siding. We confronted him and he admitted to the lying (which is progress I think... usually he denies he lied even when presented with undeniable facts!).</p><p></p><p>It isn't only the lying though, it's rules in general. He doesn't seem to think any rule applies to him. There are some rules of the house which haven't changed for years, which we have to remind him of daily, sometimes multiple times a day. It's so exhausting! For a while I thought he just needed to get motivated to remember on his own... no arguing, just an automatic cause and effect situation, but I swear, the kid doesn't get it. He will spend all day in trouble. </p><p></p><p>This morning about the lying he said "I know what to do, I just don't want to do it." Where do you go with that? If he's punished too harshly he'll decide it isn't worth trying at all. I just hate feeling like I'm walking a fine line! I'm the parent!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="howlongto18, post: 305892, member: 3129"] Thanks for all the advice. Just to clarify, he's seven now. The homeschooling is not something I feel comfortable changing, I really feel like it's the right thing for him at this time, but we do revisit the decision regularly. He does get feedback from other adults through church and sports and such. The lying is almost always to cover his behind. We point out each and every time that if he'd told the truth his punishment would have been much lighter. When he does tell the truth we reward him for it by lightening the punishment and telling him how proud we are. He likes it and says he's glad he told the truth. The most recent thing was that he took some siding we had for our home (we're replacing a window) and he started cutting it up for a playhouse. I knew we were using the siding but wasn't sure if his Dad had given him a scrap piece so I asked him if his Dad said he could have it. He looked right into my eyes and assured me that his Dad had said yes. First thing that my husband notices when coming home is the siding. We confronted him and he admitted to the lying (which is progress I think... usually he denies he lied even when presented with undeniable facts!). It isn't only the lying though, it's rules in general. He doesn't seem to think any rule applies to him. There are some rules of the house which haven't changed for years, which we have to remind him of daily, sometimes multiple times a day. It's so exhausting! For a while I thought he just needed to get motivated to remember on his own... no arguing, just an automatic cause and effect situation, but I swear, the kid doesn't get it. He will spend all day in trouble. This morning about the lying he said "I know what to do, I just don't want to do it." Where do you go with that? If he's punished too harshly he'll decide it isn't worth trying at all. I just hate feeling like I'm walking a fine line! I'm the parent! [/QUOTE]
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