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General Parenting
Discipline when stable???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 305901" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>in my opinion, he can spend his life being punished, but he still doesn't seem to "get it." Or he gets it and is just being defiant. I also am wondering if his diagnosis is right. Was he exposed to alcohol during his b-mom's pregnancy? Then he could have fetal alcohol spectrum issues which would definitely explain the constant lying and not getting it in spite of not liking the punishment. Or he could have attachment issues. I've adopted six kids in all and two aren't with me anymore (long story). Your son sounds a lot like this one child we adopted at seven. He would come home from school and tell us he saved everyone at school from a whale (we live in Wisconsin) and insist it happened. He'd had a terrible history of abuse, but was basically a good, smart kid, but he had attitude. in my opinion trying to do away with all the bad behaviors when you still aren't sure what is going on just isn't going to work. He can become immune to punishment and not care. There are kids who you CAN'T punish becuse whatever you do doesn't bother them. Have you read "The Explosive Child?" Is Carlos in therapy? Does he seem to understand therapy and relate well to the therapist? Adopted kids can be very complicated. We don't know the genetic background or how the fetus was treated. That means it's harder to diagnose the kids...</p><p>To me, if something isn't working, it's best to get a fresh perspective and try a new approach. I wish you luck, whatever you do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 305901, member: 1550"] in my opinion, he can spend his life being punished, but he still doesn't seem to "get it." Or he gets it and is just being defiant. I also am wondering if his diagnosis is right. Was he exposed to alcohol during his b-mom's pregnancy? Then he could have fetal alcohol spectrum issues which would definitely explain the constant lying and not getting it in spite of not liking the punishment. Or he could have attachment issues. I've adopted six kids in all and two aren't with me anymore (long story). Your son sounds a lot like this one child we adopted at seven. He would come home from school and tell us he saved everyone at school from a whale (we live in Wisconsin) and insist it happened. He'd had a terrible history of abuse, but was basically a good, smart kid, but he had attitude. in my opinion trying to do away with all the bad behaviors when you still aren't sure what is going on just isn't going to work. He can become immune to punishment and not care. There are kids who you CAN'T punish becuse whatever you do doesn't bother them. Have you read "The Explosive Child?" Is Carlos in therapy? Does he seem to understand therapy and relate well to the therapist? Adopted kids can be very complicated. We don't know the genetic background or how the fetus was treated. That means it's harder to diagnose the kids... To me, if something isn't working, it's best to get a fresh perspective and try a new approach. I wish you luck, whatever you do. [/QUOTE]
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