K
Kjs
Guest
OH...I don't know how to handle this. difficult child lies. I catch him all the time. Lies about school work when he KNOWS I talk to the teachers regularly. Lies about so many things. He knows that lying sets me off terribly. His reasoning....I don't want to get in trouble now. Apparently later is better for him. By then it is an all out war because I totally lost it and husband is breaking us up.
So..this is what has happened. I use my debit card to pay some bills online. To order online xmas gifts...etc. I went to the store yesterday and couldn't find it. Came home and me and husband looked everywhere. I searched the room where the computer is completely.
Then I came to the realization I really lost it. I started writing down all the accounts I need to change, cancel the card...what a nightmare.
difficult child was not home. I called him and asked if he saw it. Nope. I explained to him the importance of this and how I would have to have the bank stop any payment on it, cancel all the accounts. AND the hotel reservations at the waterpark in December are held on this card. I asked him to look around when he got home. (I was sleeping, you know, night shift)
difficult child wakes me up. He found it. In the computer room on the floor. I thanked him.
ok..I looked in there. He has been asking for me to buy an account or something for this stupid online game. I told husband this morning how happy I was that difficult child found the card. Then ran by him what I thought. husband walked in his room and asked him straight out if he used the card. difficult child said no. husband asked again, said last chance and you know we'll check the bank account. difficult child fessed up. Yep, the card was laying there and he used it. Then when he found out I was going to the bank and all the troubles it would cause, he cancelled his purchase. husband went through the roof. I told husband (privately) how hard it was for difficult child to tell the truth. He doesn't do that often. He also cancelled what he purchased, so in a way righted his wrong. And MOST important...he told the truth. I got my card back. I don't have to change all those accounts and such. husband left to walk the dogs, he is upset. I am too, but I have my card and his purchase is cancelled. I went to talk to a very down hearted difficult child. Told him he was wrong for doing that (he has done it before without telling me..caught it on the bank statement) Thanked him for telling the truth and how much I appreciate it.
So...what do I do? He could of just kept the card and I would of had a nightmare to deal with. I would of found out after I had to deal with all that mess. We always told him if he TELLS the truth he would recieve less punishment. I want to follow through on that. I want him to SEE that telling the truth has its benefits. What do I do? Don't want to steer him back to lying. I know, this is one instance. But getting better. School too. Just getting better. Need to give him a positive for telling the truth. But he needs to know how wrong that was.
help..
So..this is what has happened. I use my debit card to pay some bills online. To order online xmas gifts...etc. I went to the store yesterday and couldn't find it. Came home and me and husband looked everywhere. I searched the room where the computer is completely.
Then I came to the realization I really lost it. I started writing down all the accounts I need to change, cancel the card...what a nightmare.
difficult child was not home. I called him and asked if he saw it. Nope. I explained to him the importance of this and how I would have to have the bank stop any payment on it, cancel all the accounts. AND the hotel reservations at the waterpark in December are held on this card. I asked him to look around when he got home. (I was sleeping, you know, night shift)
difficult child wakes me up. He found it. In the computer room on the floor. I thanked him.
ok..I looked in there. He has been asking for me to buy an account or something for this stupid online game. I told husband this morning how happy I was that difficult child found the card. Then ran by him what I thought. husband walked in his room and asked him straight out if he used the card. difficult child said no. husband asked again, said last chance and you know we'll check the bank account. difficult child fessed up. Yep, the card was laying there and he used it. Then when he found out I was going to the bank and all the troubles it would cause, he cancelled his purchase. husband went through the roof. I told husband (privately) how hard it was for difficult child to tell the truth. He doesn't do that often. He also cancelled what he purchased, so in a way righted his wrong. And MOST important...he told the truth. I got my card back. I don't have to change all those accounts and such. husband left to walk the dogs, he is upset. I am too, but I have my card and his purchase is cancelled. I went to talk to a very down hearted difficult child. Told him he was wrong for doing that (he has done it before without telling me..caught it on the bank statement) Thanked him for telling the truth and how much I appreciate it.
So...what do I do? He could of just kept the card and I would of had a nightmare to deal with. I would of found out after I had to deal with all that mess. We always told him if he TELLS the truth he would recieve less punishment. I want to follow through on that. I want him to SEE that telling the truth has its benefits. What do I do? Don't want to steer him back to lying. I know, this is one instance. But getting better. School too. Just getting better. Need to give him a positive for telling the truth. But he needs to know how wrong that was.
help..