Discussion: Daddys and their difficult child Daughters

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Jan 3, 2012.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    We all know that Daddy means well....but Sheesh! Sometimes, being a softee is absolutely the WORST thing he can do!

    I saw two things this past weekend that just made me want to smack these guys.

    #1 - We had a really nice day here. Sunny. Temps in the low 70s. Really perfect weather for anything. difficult child decides she needs to do her laundry. We have established a policy that difficult child must take her laundry to the laudromat around the corner. WE give her the money to wash her clothes. Well, despite the nice day....difficult child felt that she'd never make it to the laundromat. And husband felt sorry for her having to go "all that way..." so he offered to drive.

    Excuuuuse me???? This is the same kid who walked two miles in the pitch darkness to meet some older guy for sex. This is the same girl that wants to ride her bike 5 miles to school so she can hang out with some guy riding bikes all over town after class. And she can't make it alllll the way to the laundromat in perfect weather???


    Luckily, husband changed his mind and decided that difficult child really could get there on her own.

    #2 - Our friends have a 19 year old difficult child still at home. No job. Doesn't help around the house. Mouths off to parents regularly. Whenever we talk about our kids, Dad is big about "I'm gonna show her..." and "Just wait til spring when she's no longer welcome in my house..."

    But when visited this weekend? Guess who literally jumped out of his chair each and every time his daughter so much as cleared her throat? Yep. Tough-Talking Dad.

    "Daddy...?" Yes, sweetheart. "Daddy can I have?" Sure thing, honey. "Daddy would you...?" Right away, beautiful.

    Now I have nothing against being nice to one's children - but Holy Cow! I've never seen a child so completely in control of a parent! The man was at her beck-and-call all evening long. He didn't even respond to his wife the way he jumped for his daughter.



    Anyone have any Doting Daddy stories to add?
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I should add -

    It's not that I don't want husband doing anything nice for his daughter...but the laundry thing is supposed to be a "life lesson". If you can't be nice and follow the rules for using Mom and Dad's machines, you go to the laundromat. It's SUPPOSED to be inconvenient. It's not supposed to be ' well-you-don't-really-have-to-go-if-you-cry-hard-enough-and-get-Daddy-to-feel-sorry-for-you '.
  3. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I have some doozies but if I type them I will just get mad again and it is all in the past. Keep plugging away at your husband. Eventually they get it but it could take ten years.
  4. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    My husband and I were at odds last night over difficult child's bedtime.

    We have rules, structure and routine and when these things are not followed,things become very chaotic in our house.

    I DON'T do well with chaos at all !!

    husband bent difficult child's bedtime rules last night and I was PO'd to say the least.

    husband tried to "sell" his point.

    I asked him to come upstairs shut and locked our bedroom door and we "had it out"

    difficult child went to bed at a normal time ... LOL

    DF, my husband definetly has a soft spot for difficult child and is quicker to "feel sorry" for him.


    Yes, he is only 11 but is a master manipulator and I saw through him many years ago.
  5. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    husband isn't so bad as before, but...

    Saturday he took Onyxx shopping so she could spend her gift cards.

    4 hours and 45 minutes later, he gets home, exhausted... And I've gotten a text: Forget SSI, Onyxx gets SDI - Supplemental Daddy Income!

    Grmph. This was supposed to be a lesson in - if you go over you have to cover it, or put it back.

    Oh well.
  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sadly, not a story to tell. Wish difficult children daddy was a bit doting.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well Cory doesnt have any difficult child's (yet...fingers crossed!) but he is a very doting daddy to both little girls. Tickles the heck out of me too. He is so good with them and I have no doubt they will have both Daddy and Papa wrapped around their little fingers! And Uncle Billy. McKenzie already follows him all around the room when he is home and reaches out trying to get to him. She is happiest in her Daddy's arms. Definitely a Daddy's girl.
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm NOT calling Keyanna a difficult child. Not by a long shot, Janet.

    ADD doesn't mean difficult child... (my k2 is ADD but not a difficult child... )
    Neither does motor skills problems or auditory issues or LDs...
    BUT... if you don't catch them early and get appropriate interventions, accommodations and/or medications... the result of not getting help can turn a PGK (pretty good kid) into a difficult child really fast.

    Just my experience, of course.
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I really think it's a Dad/Daughter thing, difficult child or not. My daughters have always had their daddies wrapped around their little fingers. Not the case with the boys.
  10. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Me too! My son can't get away with anything...
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I'm most definitely Daddy's girl... And I do use it, especially to get Dad to go get new glasses/hearing aids/doctor for back pain/etc.
  12. jal

    jal Member

    I agree with MWM. I think its a Dad/Daughter thing too. I wasn't a difficult child and neither was my brother growing up, but I was closer to my Dad than my mom and vice versa with-my brother. Now that's flipped the other way around (after I had difficult child). But I would come home to visit from college and head out on a Friday night and when I returned Dad had always done all my laundry for me. I never would have asked/expected him too in a million yrs, but that's the type of man he is. Heck he'd even iron a shirt for me if I needed it, but he's always ironed his own stuff.

    He still slips me a few bucks here and there (I've never asked), just like he did when I was in hs & college...but he was always a doting Dad (for both of us) and I, his first born...
  13. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Don't even get me started....


    But, I must admit, I think its more because he's a part-time-parent than daddy/daughter.
  14. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    My husband seems to be an old softee for both the boys and the girls, difficult child and easy child. In his case, I think it's Gentle Giant syndrome. The very big, scary looking guy is sweetness personified, and his little dainty wife is the hard case. Seems fairly typical from what I've seen of most gigantic football players and their teeny little moms, wives and sisters.

    And yes, Tyrantina has already learned to use this to her advantage, as Step-D did before her. They boys all seem to be carrying on the Gentle Giant tradition. Maybe that's it. The boys could if they wanted to, but they don't.

  15. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    difficult child definitely does not have her Daddy wrapped here. He grew up with an unmedicated bipolar mom, so he has no patience for any of this. And, if things continue this way, I will be right there behind him.
  16. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    My difficult child is a boy !!

    Sometimes I think husband is harder on our daughter because "she doesn't have anything wrong with her" ... (his words not mine)