Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Distraught about 19yr son
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 407655" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Welcome. Glad you found us but sure sorry you needed to. I agree with the others but I do understand how difficult it will be. Somewhere around here (probably in the Archives) there is a</p><p>treatise on disengaging. Many CD members refer to it again and again as they travel the road of separation.</p><p> </p><p>I totally understand your need to grieve the loss of your young son. My teen turned from an awesome young man into a pot head and alcoholic at a young age. We sent him to three different substance abuse programs when he was young enough to follow our dictates. His behaviors and addictions didn't change much. Due to unusual circumstances he is still not on his own.</p><p> </p><p>What I wanted to share with you is an important but sadly true conversation I had with a great counselor when I picked him up from his last treatment facility. He was a very caring man. As I prepared to sign the discharge paperwork I sat with him and thanked him for every effort he had made. Then I said "I am praying that our grandson gets over this stage soon and returns to the kid we all adore." He looked me in the eye and replied "that kid no longer exists and can not return". I guess my eyes got wide and then he said "you may end up with a very nice young man once he faces his addictions but he has changed and you'll have to learn to love him as he is not as he once was." That short conversation slammed my heart. Once I was alone I wept for hours and over the years it has brought fresh tears. I <strong>still </strong>want him back as he was. It's not going to happen. We still love him with all our heart but the innocence is gone...ours and his.</p><p> </p><p>Don't expect miracles. Find ways to strengthen yourself. The road is going to be rough but it can have a happy ending...it just doesn't happen quickly. Hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 407655, member: 35"] Welcome. Glad you found us but sure sorry you needed to. I agree with the others but I do understand how difficult it will be. Somewhere around here (probably in the Archives) there is a treatise on disengaging. Many CD members refer to it again and again as they travel the road of separation. I totally understand your need to grieve the loss of your young son. My teen turned from an awesome young man into a pot head and alcoholic at a young age. We sent him to three different substance abuse programs when he was young enough to follow our dictates. His behaviors and addictions didn't change much. Due to unusual circumstances he is still not on his own. What I wanted to share with you is an important but sadly true conversation I had with a great counselor when I picked him up from his last treatment facility. He was a very caring man. As I prepared to sign the discharge paperwork I sat with him and thanked him for every effort he had made. Then I said "I am praying that our grandson gets over this stage soon and returns to the kid we all adore." He looked me in the eye and replied "that kid no longer exists and can not return". I guess my eyes got wide and then he said "you may end up with a very nice young man once he faces his addictions but he has changed and you'll have to learn to love him as he is not as he once was." That short conversation slammed my heart. Once I was alone I wept for hours and over the years it has brought fresh tears. I [B]still [/B]want him back as he was. It's not going to happen. We still love him with all our heart but the innocence is gone...ours and his. Don't expect miracles. Find ways to strengthen yourself. The road is going to be rough but it can have a happy ending...it just doesn't happen quickly. Hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Distraught about 19yr son
Top