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Substance Abuse
Division between parents due to son's addiction
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 607250" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Is your husband his father?</p><p></p><p>I'm inclined to think that your son used more than weed and sold the drugs too. He is probably doing more "bad" things than you want to admit, which is how he is able to have money. I understand because I stood in your shoes once. I did not want to hear my husband telling me what turned out to be the truth about what my daughter was involved in. </p><p></p><p>Does you son usually tell you the truth? A sign of continued drug use is lying to cover it up and lying to get money from us and then sometimes not using that money the way we said we would. Your husband probably had good reason to be angry at your son and to want to throw him out. To actually do it when you two were not on the same page caused a big rift. Now you are having trouble in an otherwise good marriage because of your son, who has made and may still be making some very bad choices. Both of you deserve to be happy, even if this young man whom you love is self-destructing. in my opinion you should not allow him to destroy your marriage. He should not have that kind of power.</p><p></p><p>You really don't know what Son is up to and his chosen lifestyle is HIS responsibility, not yours. in my opinion don't fund him or enable him. He should get as job. There are places that will help him find a job, if he wants one. I would not pay his rent. But I do think you should be allowed to have him over for the holiday if that's what you want, assuming he behaves and follows the rules and is respectful. And your husband doesn't, so that's a problem.</p><p></p><p>I think you and your husband should go into marital counseling to resolve your differences over how to deal with wayward son. You both seem very emotional over him and a third party with a cool head is always good. </p><p></p><p>I also highly recommend going to a Narc-Anon meeting to talk to other parents in the same situation or who have been there/done that. Al-Anon is pretty much the same...that would also probably help you.</p><p></p><p>I wish you luck. Keep us updated!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 607250, member: 1550"] Is your husband his father? I'm inclined to think that your son used more than weed and sold the drugs too. He is probably doing more "bad" things than you want to admit, which is how he is able to have money. I understand because I stood in your shoes once. I did not want to hear my husband telling me what turned out to be the truth about what my daughter was involved in. Does you son usually tell you the truth? A sign of continued drug use is lying to cover it up and lying to get money from us and then sometimes not using that money the way we said we would. Your husband probably had good reason to be angry at your son and to want to throw him out. To actually do it when you two were not on the same page caused a big rift. Now you are having trouble in an otherwise good marriage because of your son, who has made and may still be making some very bad choices. Both of you deserve to be happy, even if this young man whom you love is self-destructing. in my opinion you should not allow him to destroy your marriage. He should not have that kind of power. You really don't know what Son is up to and his chosen lifestyle is HIS responsibility, not yours. in my opinion don't fund him or enable him. He should get as job. There are places that will help him find a job, if he wants one. I would not pay his rent. But I do think you should be allowed to have him over for the holiday if that's what you want, assuming he behaves and follows the rules and is respectful. And your husband doesn't, so that's a problem. I think you and your husband should go into marital counseling to resolve your differences over how to deal with wayward son. You both seem very emotional over him and a third party with a cool head is always good. I also highly recommend going to a Narc-Anon meeting to talk to other parents in the same situation or who have been there/done that. Al-Anon is pretty much the same...that would also probably help you. I wish you luck. Keep us updated! [/QUOTE]
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Division between parents due to son's addiction
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