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Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 592782" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>To be a devil's advocate again...if people divorce, there is no guarantee it will be better for the child. There are custody fights, nastiness often happening in one home or the other against the other parent and the child feels torn. The child is then spending this weekend with XXX, whether or not he/she wants to, and having to be uprooted the next weekend, even if something great is going on at his preferred place. His parents can marry again and be miserable...for 2nd marriages the divorce rate is 66%. For third marriages it is even higher. The chances of divorce giving a child a better life are not an odds on favorite, under these conditions. </p><p></p><p>My parents did not get along, but if my parents would have divorced, there would have been an ongoing battle throughout my childhood over money as my dad is very cheap and my mother did not have a good job. We probably would have had to move several times to worse and worse apartments and I, as a difficult child, had enough trouble adjusting to change and making friends...constant moving would have been horrendous. My dad would have taken off and let her do everything and she was no peach. They divorced after I grew up. They acted like two teenagers. I'm glad they waited until I was gone before that happened. Both went from adults to giggly love-sick kids. I didn't like the fighting, but the fallout of a divorce would have been even worse. At least to me it seems like it. I did have one home, one school, enough money and my parents weren't dating and bringing home boyfriends and girlfriends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 592782, member: 1550"] To be a devil's advocate again...if people divorce, there is no guarantee it will be better for the child. There are custody fights, nastiness often happening in one home or the other against the other parent and the child feels torn. The child is then spending this weekend with XXX, whether or not he/she wants to, and having to be uprooted the next weekend, even if something great is going on at his preferred place. His parents can marry again and be miserable...for 2nd marriages the divorce rate is 66%. For third marriages it is even higher. The chances of divorce giving a child a better life are not an odds on favorite, under these conditions. My parents did not get along, but if my parents would have divorced, there would have been an ongoing battle throughout my childhood over money as my dad is very cheap and my mother did not have a good job. We probably would have had to move several times to worse and worse apartments and I, as a difficult child, had enough trouble adjusting to change and making friends...constant moving would have been horrendous. My dad would have taken off and let her do everything and she was no peach. They divorced after I grew up. They acted like two teenagers. I'm glad they waited until I was gone before that happened. Both went from adults to giggly love-sick kids. I didn't like the fighting, but the fallout of a divorce would have been even worse. At least to me it seems like it. I did have one home, one school, enough money and my parents weren't dating and bringing home boyfriends and girlfriends. [/QUOTE]
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Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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