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Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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<blockquote data-quote="Dixies_fire" data-source="post: 592900" data-attributes="member: 16184"><p>Hmmm...Devil's advocate....</p><p></p><p>My first marriage was an ass pain. We went through 3 separations were actually divorced for six months after a year of separation we remarried because we were living together and I decided to go into the service, you either have to be married or sign over your rights to your kids while you are in basic and training. I was NOT signing over my rights but wanted the opportunities the army could provide. </p><p></p><p>I still believe we loved each other. We fought many times but not in front of tk. We sometimes had shoving matches and slamming matches though they were not on anything approaching a regular basis. After boyo was born my sex life was slow to return and quite honestly though many will judge me. He gained roughly 75 pounds in a year. We weren't making an effort to emotionally connect he couldn't understand my ppdepression and I had to deploy when boyo was 7 months old. It was manageable if we would of made it through deployment but it was clear to me he was cheating and bringing my kids over to the other woman's house who was also married to another service member. I would have forgiven him if he had apologized and stopped when confronted, but he didn't and I couldn't turn a blind eye. I was familiar with what being a largely single parent looked and felt like from my year stint and few month forays into it previously. I knew it sucked I didn't want that. Parts of me still don't like the blended family, visitations which are not every other weekend. Ultimately he wanted out and if he couldn't apologize I wanted out too. </p><p></p><p>My current husband saved my life. I'd known him for years but we spent much time bonding and talking about our dreams and what we wanted our future to look like. My ex husband was more concerned with right now we had no plans on what 10 years from now would look like. My current husband treated me well, noticed my feelings didn't ignore them. He was good with my son, we didn't get tk till much later because she was in the middle of a school year but he was good with her when she visited. </p><p>I met his children and I knew I could love them if we ever got custody of them. </p><p></p><p>My kids love hubs when he is being hubs they tell him so every day. </p><p>When he wasn't being hubs and was this other person was quite scary. And the problem with a second marriage is unless your 1st husband is abuse to you or your children you know it's better to stay with him then it is to leave. The minute you start doubting your relationship with your second husband you start wondering if this is right? You've made so many mistakes this far is this a mistake too? </p><p></p><p>We are told that almost everything with fighting is abusive. Or maybe I should say arguing. we are taught to have pride over humility these days. I think that might be part of the problem</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dixies_fire, post: 592900, member: 16184"] Hmmm...Devil's advocate.... My first marriage was an ass pain. We went through 3 separations were actually divorced for six months after a year of separation we remarried because we were living together and I decided to go into the service, you either have to be married or sign over your rights to your kids while you are in basic and training. I was NOT signing over my rights but wanted the opportunities the army could provide. I still believe we loved each other. We fought many times but not in front of tk. We sometimes had shoving matches and slamming matches though they were not on anything approaching a regular basis. After boyo was born my sex life was slow to return and quite honestly though many will judge me. He gained roughly 75 pounds in a year. We weren't making an effort to emotionally connect he couldn't understand my ppdepression and I had to deploy when boyo was 7 months old. It was manageable if we would of made it through deployment but it was clear to me he was cheating and bringing my kids over to the other woman's house who was also married to another service member. I would have forgiven him if he had apologized and stopped when confronted, but he didn't and I couldn't turn a blind eye. I was familiar with what being a largely single parent looked and felt like from my year stint and few month forays into it previously. I knew it sucked I didn't want that. Parts of me still don't like the blended family, visitations which are not every other weekend. Ultimately he wanted out and if he couldn't apologize I wanted out too. My current husband saved my life. I'd known him for years but we spent much time bonding and talking about our dreams and what we wanted our future to look like. My ex husband was more concerned with right now we had no plans on what 10 years from now would look like. My current husband treated me well, noticed my feelings didn't ignore them. He was good with my son, we didn't get tk till much later because she was in the middle of a school year but he was good with her when she visited. I met his children and I knew I could love them if we ever got custody of them. My kids love hubs when he is being hubs they tell him so every day. When he wasn't being hubs and was this other person was quite scary. And the problem with a second marriage is unless your 1st husband is abuse to you or your children you know it's better to stay with him then it is to leave. The minute you start doubting your relationship with your second husband you start wondering if this is right? You've made so many mistakes this far is this a mistake too? We are told that almost everything with fighting is abusive. Or maybe I should say arguing. we are taught to have pride over humility these days. I think that might be part of the problem [/QUOTE]
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Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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