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Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 592967" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hmmmmmmm. After reading all of these opinions, I still think that a lot of difficult children happen because of our family situations, including my own difficult children. But it's also other areas of society. There is no respect for adults. Sometimes the adults don't act like they are people deserving of respect, but also we see it as cute and funny on TV or in the movies when a kid yells at her parents, even a young child. Kids usually have two parent working family (this is another problem I see) and many parents can't afford sitters or GOOD sitters are hard to find and they run around with no supervision. When I was a stay at home mom and nobody else was, the kids all hung at our house and honestly...half the time I had to tell them it was dinner time. They didn't want to or have to go home and these were kids as young as eight. They raised themselves or their older siblings half-arsed raised them. A lot of them got more material things than my kids, but certainly few got the same amount of attention...at least until the divorce when I could no longer be a stay at home mom and the kids got less attention because I came home dead exhausted.</p><p></p><p>Ask teachers who have been around for as long time if kids were more respectful thirty years ago than they are now. Bet they'd all give the same answer. Kids back talk teachers all the time without much consequence.</p><p></p><p>With a teenager now, I think it's sad that there are parents I know who are afraid of their kids not liking them and who smoke pot or drink with them and their friends and who allow their kids to sleep with their boyfriends in their home. One classmate of Jumper's got pregnant by a difficult child and her mother threw her a baby shower and was just glowing with happiness. I don't think she should have tossed her daughter out the door nor sent her away to a remote aunt nor even refused to accept the situation because it's her granddaughter, even though she'll probably be raising that baby. But acting so thrilled sort of in my opinion sends a bad message. This girl's childhood is over. It's not really a good thing for her or the baby in my opinion. Jumper was really excited to go to the baby shower. It's seen as ok to have a baby when one is sixteen now.</p><p></p><p>The internet hasn't helped any. I just think we're going to see more and more difficult child children that turn into difficult child adults because we don't have strong values to cling to anymore and, really, most kids thrive on structure and knowing right from wrong. It makes for a more stable person and that just isn't out there much now, even if we try to have it in our homes. And I'm not one who thinks it's a good idea to isolate our kids from the big, bad world either because they have to live in it, with all it's flaws. I wouldn't homeschool or ban having a television just because there are things on it that I don't like. So what can ya do? Nothing but cross your fingers that your kid can make it. Most do, but more and more are not. </p><p></p><p>Just musing <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 592967, member: 1550"] Hmmmmmmm. After reading all of these opinions, I still think that a lot of difficult children happen because of our family situations, including my own difficult children. But it's also other areas of society. There is no respect for adults. Sometimes the adults don't act like they are people deserving of respect, but also we see it as cute and funny on TV or in the movies when a kid yells at her parents, even a young child. Kids usually have two parent working family (this is another problem I see) and many parents can't afford sitters or GOOD sitters are hard to find and they run around with no supervision. When I was a stay at home mom and nobody else was, the kids all hung at our house and honestly...half the time I had to tell them it was dinner time. They didn't want to or have to go home and these were kids as young as eight. They raised themselves or their older siblings half-arsed raised them. A lot of them got more material things than my kids, but certainly few got the same amount of attention...at least until the divorce when I could no longer be a stay at home mom and the kids got less attention because I came home dead exhausted. Ask teachers who have been around for as long time if kids were more respectful thirty years ago than they are now. Bet they'd all give the same answer. Kids back talk teachers all the time without much consequence. With a teenager now, I think it's sad that there are parents I know who are afraid of their kids not liking them and who smoke pot or drink with them and their friends and who allow their kids to sleep with their boyfriends in their home. One classmate of Jumper's got pregnant by a difficult child and her mother threw her a baby shower and was just glowing with happiness. I don't think she should have tossed her daughter out the door nor sent her away to a remote aunt nor even refused to accept the situation because it's her granddaughter, even though she'll probably be raising that baby. But acting so thrilled sort of in my opinion sends a bad message. This girl's childhood is over. It's not really a good thing for her or the baby in my opinion. Jumper was really excited to go to the baby shower. It's seen as ok to have a baby when one is sixteen now. The internet hasn't helped any. I just think we're going to see more and more difficult child children that turn into difficult child adults because we don't have strong values to cling to anymore and, really, most kids thrive on structure and knowing right from wrong. It makes for a more stable person and that just isn't out there much now, even if we try to have it in our homes. And I'm not one who thinks it's a good idea to isolate our kids from the big, bad world either because they have to live in it, with all it's flaws. I wouldn't homeschool or ban having a television just because there are things on it that I don't like. So what can ya do? Nothing but cross your fingers that your kid can make it. Most do, but more and more are not. Just musing :) [/QUOTE]
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Divorce in 2013. Does an intact family help the children?
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