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Do any of your difficult children "perform" depression?
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 503729" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>AHF, </p><p>I think you make an excellent point!</p><p></p><p>My young difficult child has "tried" to commit suicide 3 times that I can think of over the last 3 years. </p><p>First time was taking pills and alcohol, taken to ER, handcuffed, spitting at police resulting in 2 Felony charges "Harrasement of a Public Servent". He broke probation for that crime this past summer when husband and I kicked him out. He is now serving a 3 year prison sentence. </p><p>Did kicking young difficult child out result in him now being in prison...Mommy guilt!</p><p></p><p>The second time young difficult child tried to kill himself he was at his mother in law's house and cut deep gashes into his legs (while drunk apparently). This resulted in a hospital stay for 3 days. </p><p></p><p>The last time young difficult child "tried" to kill himself was a few months ago at my home. He was drunk again, in the garage, apparently went into kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed himself in the arm. </p><p>Interstingly enough...He RAN up the stairs and begged husband and I to wake up and help him. He was scared out of his mind...He could NOT control the bleeding. Even husband when he saw what young difficult child had done thought he cut an Artery and had me on the phone to call 911. After the bleeding was "under control" husband took him to ER and dropped him off. </p><p></p><p>Here's the thing. Yes, young difficult child gets depressed and has "suicidal ideation"...However, he does NOT want to die...that he made quite clear with last "suicide attempt". But he DOES emotionally manipulate. Has for years and unfortunately I have been a "weak link" in this dept always giving him an ear from me, sorrow from me, tears, and continuing to enable. </p><p>I am only now...beginning to see that I have allowed myself to be responsible for the grand outcome of young difficult child's life.</p><p></p><p>I was not able at 18 to say no more and practice "tough love". I continued to hold myself accountable for the outcome....Just as all the authorities had for yrs with husband and I. </p><p>This magical age changed nothing. </p><p></p><p>Now, here I am hoping that when my young difficult child gets out of prison in 9 to 15 months (after his first parole hearing) and comes home...that I will be able to implement a new plan. </p><p>The plan is to have him go to a sober house ASAP. He will have to be at least 10 days sober, be voted in by the other addicts that live in the sober house, and come up with $75 to $125 a week to stay there. </p><p>BUT...what if he doesn't want to go, then what?</p><p></p><p>I have to get strong enough to not let his "performance depression" cloud my thinking. I have to have an adopted new belief system/philosophy firmly in place so that I do not get sucked into the manipulation again. I really need the support to do the hard things I may have to do. I need the reinforcement on a regular basis as my heart causes me to forget! </p><p></p><p>I realize you are not dealing with a sub abusing son but you are dealing with an emotional manipulator sounds like to me. </p><p></p><p>It is so hard to let them sink or swim...the "what ifs" just about kill me to think of!</p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 503729, member: 3305"] AHF, I think you make an excellent point! My young difficult child has "tried" to commit suicide 3 times that I can think of over the last 3 years. First time was taking pills and alcohol, taken to ER, handcuffed, spitting at police resulting in 2 Felony charges "Harrasement of a Public Servent". He broke probation for that crime this past summer when husband and I kicked him out. He is now serving a 3 year prison sentence. Did kicking young difficult child out result in him now being in prison...Mommy guilt! The second time young difficult child tried to kill himself he was at his mother in law's house and cut deep gashes into his legs (while drunk apparently). This resulted in a hospital stay for 3 days. The last time young difficult child "tried" to kill himself was a few months ago at my home. He was drunk again, in the garage, apparently went into kitchen grabbed a knife and stabbed himself in the arm. Interstingly enough...He RAN up the stairs and begged husband and I to wake up and help him. He was scared out of his mind...He could NOT control the bleeding. Even husband when he saw what young difficult child had done thought he cut an Artery and had me on the phone to call 911. After the bleeding was "under control" husband took him to ER and dropped him off. Here's the thing. Yes, young difficult child gets depressed and has "suicidal ideation"...However, he does NOT want to die...that he made quite clear with last "suicide attempt". But he DOES emotionally manipulate. Has for years and unfortunately I have been a "weak link" in this dept always giving him an ear from me, sorrow from me, tears, and continuing to enable. I am only now...beginning to see that I have allowed myself to be responsible for the grand outcome of young difficult child's life. I was not able at 18 to say no more and practice "tough love". I continued to hold myself accountable for the outcome....Just as all the authorities had for yrs with husband and I. This magical age changed nothing. Now, here I am hoping that when my young difficult child gets out of prison in 9 to 15 months (after his first parole hearing) and comes home...that I will be able to implement a new plan. The plan is to have him go to a sober house ASAP. He will have to be at least 10 days sober, be voted in by the other addicts that live in the sober house, and come up with $75 to $125 a week to stay there. BUT...what if he doesn't want to go, then what? I have to get strong enough to not let his "performance depression" cloud my thinking. I have to have an adopted new belief system/philosophy firmly in place so that I do not get sucked into the manipulation again. I really need the support to do the hard things I may have to do. I need the reinforcement on a regular basis as my heart causes me to forget! I realize you are not dealing with a sub abusing son but you are dealing with an emotional manipulator sounds like to me. It is so hard to let them sink or swim...the "what ifs" just about kill me to think of! LMS [/QUOTE]
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Do any of your difficult children "perform" depression?
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