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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 652047" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>One time? My sister called. I haven't been picking up for her because I don't want the drama. But my mother is there in that other state with my sister. </p><p></p><p>Anyway.</p><p></p><p>So my sister called, saying in very hushed, agonized tones followed by an exasperated sigh, that I needed to call her. I thought my mother may have died or had a stroke or some other dire thing. It turned out to be none of those things. My sister said (I did call her back on that one, of course) that as Mom is getting older, slower, more frail, we should all go and vacation together on a South Carolina beach where a friend of hers has a house we can rent.</p><p></p><p>My point (and I do have one, as Ellen says) is that threat of death, though it is a reality and should not be toyed with, is sometimes used to blackmail and manipulate and leave us feeling guilty.</p><p></p><p>I am surprised my sister would have taken it to that level. Is nothing sacred with these people?</p><p></p><p>The exchange did upset me. I did wonder more about them, and about who my choices regarding them makes me, and about whether I should rejoin the fold there or what.</p><p></p><p>How extraordinary.</p><p></p><p>Finally I was able to see the game in it.</p><p></p><p>Hurtful stuff. There was strength for me in really seeing the family dynamic for what it is, and in contrasting that with what it might have meant to me to have come to maturity in a more balanced environment.</p><p></p><p>It always surprises me, once I see undeniable evidence of the sickness at the core of a thing.</p><p></p><p>It leaves me feeling very lonely, as I think it will never change. Still, I have seen too much to go back to believing it is anything but what it undeniably is.</p><p></p><p>So that's okay, then. It is better, so much better, to know.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>P.S. So did they keep the mother? </p><p></p><p>I love your new avatar.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 652047, member: 17461"] One time? My sister called. I haven't been picking up for her because I don't want the drama. But my mother is there in that other state with my sister. Anyway. So my sister called, saying in very hushed, agonized tones followed by an exasperated sigh, that I needed to call her. I thought my mother may have died or had a stroke or some other dire thing. It turned out to be none of those things. My sister said (I did call her back on that one, of course) that as Mom is getting older, slower, more frail, we should all go and vacation together on a South Carolina beach where a friend of hers has a house we can rent. My point (and I do have one, as Ellen says) is that threat of death, though it is a reality and should not be toyed with, is sometimes used to blackmail and manipulate and leave us feeling guilty. I am surprised my sister would have taken it to that level. Is nothing sacred with these people? The exchange did upset me. I did wonder more about them, and about who my choices regarding them makes me, and about whether I should rejoin the fold there or what. How extraordinary. Finally I was able to see the game in it. Hurtful stuff. There was strength for me in really seeing the family dynamic for what it is, and in contrasting that with what it might have meant to me to have come to maturity in a more balanced environment. It always surprises me, once I see undeniable evidence of the sickness at the core of a thing. It leaves me feeling very lonely, as I think it will never change. Still, I have seen too much to go back to believing it is anything but what it undeniably is. So that's okay, then. It is better, so much better, to know. Cedar P.S. So did they keep the mother? I love your new avatar. :O) [/QUOTE]
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