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Do I or don't I...
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<blockquote data-quote="daralex" data-source="post: 121629" data-attributes="member: 4467"><p>I could speak on this subject for hours so I will try to be as brief as i can. My difficult child's bio dad used me as a punching bag until difficult child was 10 mos old. He missed me and swung at the fridge and then missed her by 1/2 an inch. that's the day we left. He overdosed 7 years later. I TOTALLY understand the visitation order thing. GO BACK TO COURT!!! Your difficult child has enough going on without havihng to experience this rage 1st hand. It is NOT a healthy environment. I know somewhere in your heart you think that having the other parent being in difficult child's life is a plus - but from what you're saying it's not! What would happen if you wait until sometihing "bad" happened? At age 12 your difficult child should be able to have a say in court as to whether or not he feels like he wants to preserve that relationship. Never say a bad word about bio dad (not productive) - but keep him safe. It seems it's causing more stress and take it from one who knows - you want to keep difficult child safe BEFORE something "bad" happens and you know it will. Sorry for being so adament - but I've been there done that and bought the T-shirt. difficult child comes first - do you want him traumatized over socks?! It won't won't get better! Only my 2 cents - but have had a lifetime of experience with this. Don't second guess yourself - you know best - go with your feeelings - if bio dad isn't adding anything you won't be taking much away. difficult child will learn on his own who is OK and who is not. huge ((hugs)) it's not an easy road - but you know him better tahn anyone else - trust your instincts - protect your child.</p><p>-Dara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="daralex, post: 121629, member: 4467"] I could speak on this subject for hours so I will try to be as brief as i can. My difficult child's bio dad used me as a punching bag until difficult child was 10 mos old. He missed me and swung at the fridge and then missed her by 1/2 an inch. that's the day we left. He overdosed 7 years later. I TOTALLY understand the visitation order thing. GO BACK TO COURT!!! Your difficult child has enough going on without havihng to experience this rage 1st hand. It is NOT a healthy environment. I know somewhere in your heart you think that having the other parent being in difficult child's life is a plus - but from what you're saying it's not! What would happen if you wait until sometihing "bad" happened? At age 12 your difficult child should be able to have a say in court as to whether or not he feels like he wants to preserve that relationship. Never say a bad word about bio dad (not productive) - but keep him safe. It seems it's causing more stress and take it from one who knows - you want to keep difficult child safe BEFORE something "bad" happens and you know it will. Sorry for being so adament - but I've been there done that and bought the T-shirt. difficult child comes first - do you want him traumatized over socks?! It won't won't get better! Only my 2 cents - but have had a lifetime of experience with this. Don't second guess yourself - you know best - go with your feeelings - if bio dad isn't adding anything you won't be taking much away. difficult child will learn on his own who is OK and who is not. huge ((hugs)) it's not an easy road - but you know him better tahn anyone else - trust your instincts - protect your child. -Dara [/QUOTE]
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