Do not deserve this.....this is wrong

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
Linda--

I am SO sorry. Seems that things have just not been going well for you and your family for such a long time....and situations like that always make me wonder about God's plans. Why is it that some families seem to coast along, relatively worry free--while others are stuck fighting one battle after another...?

I don't know the answers....but I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you will find the strength you need for this latest struggle.

((((hugs)))) and support, always,

--DaisyF
 

mrscatinthehat

Seussical
I don't think I can put into words the anger and injustice I felt reading your post. Unfortunately so many times SWs think they are helping when in fact it is the exact opposite. You have done and do so much. I am not one of the quiet strikers. I am ready for the full frontal assualt towards them on this. I know how hard it is once that report has been made. They never quite look at the situation the same.

Many hugs.

beth
 

busywend

Well-Known Member
Totally not fair.
It is out of your hands. Let them all figure out just haw VERY hard you have advocated for your children. They should get on their knees and do the 'we're not worthy' motion when they are done.
If you need a letter of reference let me know & I will have it in Cleveland.

HUGS!
 

susiestar

Roll With It
If you need letters from any of us, ANY of us, even from EACH of us, let us know. We will do ANYTHING to help. We KNOW you are not deserving of this. It almost seems like a witch hunt against you because you have physical disabilities. In fact, you may want to contact an attorney to help you with this. This is SO wrong.

You are right. You truly do NOT deserve this. It is vicious and cruel. let us know if we can help.

Love you, lady. HEck, I wish you could have been MY mom sometimes! And my mom can be a pretty hard act to follow. She has her moments, but overall she is there when I need her.
 

ThreeShadows

Quid me anxia?
Linda, that is so unfair! I wish you had raised me. It's been all about your children all this time. I am so sorry for their failure to recognize your dedication. As an adoptive mom, I truly have to wonder if a biomom would be judged the way they are judging you. We are often guilty until proven innocent.
 

JJJ

Active Member
Linda, I couldn't come up with the words to respond yesterday. I still can't think of what to say but I want you to know that we are praying for you and the tweedles.
 

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Linda,
This is such an injustice! I'm so sorry, you should not have to put up with this for even a second. You have built such a wonderful team around the Tweedles and done more than incredibly well. Let me know if there is anything I can do or if you just want to talk. I am in awe of you as a mom, these people don't know what they are doing!

Gentle hugs along with continued daily prayers.
 

Sheila

Moderator
I'm speechless..... They can't possibly understand the depths you've gone to to help these kids. And to pull this?

I don't know. Under the circumstances, if push comes to shove, I might entertain the thought of disrupting the adoption and working out some kind of visitation with-the kids, if possible.

With all this none-stop pressure from every direction, the stress is going to kill you.

Many hugs
 

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
I'd like to thank each & every one of you in person for you support & kind words.

I've been punched in the gut ~ my children have taken me down & I'm not sure I can stand again. I've been fighting for them since they were 6; they are now 15.

My understanding is there will be a mtg here on Wednesday ~ CPS along with the entire team but excluding kt. That could change.

PCA told me that she would write a letter of the day to day "antics" & how I handle them. Mental health CM will also testify on my behalf. If it goes as far as kt needing a guardian ad litem I'm going to request the same lady who is wm's guardian. I don't know where I will stand in this after all is said & done.

We will see.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
This is almost an ADA issue. Are they saying no disabled person can parent children? They are stepping into dangerous territory. It may be one thing to do this in the screening for adoption process but these kids are already adopted so they are yours just as much as biological kids. Personally I think it would be wrong in the screening process but whatever. We are past that point.

If a biological parent who had the same problems you are having presented with the same problems, I dont think the same issues would be happening. This isnt right. I think they are discriminating against you based on both your health issues and your place as adoptive parent. So not right.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
I agree with Janet. Seems like this would be the kind of thing the ACLU or other Parent's Rights or Disability Advocacy Groups would maybe be able to help with.

Are you considering taking an attorney with you? Or maybe to wait and see with this meeting and then speak to an attorney? It might be a good idea to cover your bases, or at least think about this.
 

klmno

Active Member
I agree about the ADA and ACLU issues and it's worth pursuing, seems like.

The part about it wouldn't be happening if you were a bio-parent, well, I'm not sure. People have difficult child's GAL convinced that because I had therapy for sexual abuse and drug abuse over 25 years ago that my problems are what is behind difficult child's issues. It hasn't gotten as far as CPS though because so far, the judge is not in agreement with that theory. But I did have to testify about it to convince her. It's hard to say if things would be any worse if I was an adoptive parent.

Actually, I have thought that adoptive parents have benefitted in this area. Not only do the kids get more services, but there is already documentation that the kid had problems while not even living with the adoptive parent. Since difficult child has only lived with me, it's easy for people to say that I must be the problem, or "let's try moving him somewhere else and see if the problems go away".

Maybe you can modify some of these points and bring them up at your meeting.
 

flutterby

Fly away!
Linda, I didn't respond because I honestly didn't know what to say.

The "powers that be" never cease to amaze me.

Whatever the outcome, you have to take care of you.

(((hugs)))
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Linda, now the initial shock is over do you feel a sense of relief that you may have your burdens eased a bit? You have given 100% for nine years.The children have advanced farther than experts would anticipate. You have every reason to be proud of your parenting efforts.

The price you have paid for the unrelenting stress has been above and beyond the call of duty. If you are able to focus on your physical and emotional recovery in my humble opinion it might be healthiest for all three of you.

My thoughts are with you this week. I hope that the meeting results in positive plans and a decreased burden. DDD
 
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