Every evening at 7 pm my phone is scheduled to go on "do not disturb" until 7 am. I do this bc I'm tired of the constant drama from difficult child. I cant take it. He used to call non stop at night and I'm done with that. Around 7:30 I checked my Facebook and saw a message from difficult child. Very strange bc he's restricted from the computer at the group home right now. I opened the message and it said "F you B**ch you don't want to talk to me?? Fine bye!!" So I called the group home and they said he left earlier and they think hes about 20 minutes away from there. I responded to the FB message and got "F YOU I HATE YOU BYE" as a response back. I am now sitting here shaking. This HAS to stop! I've been good at standing my ground but this stuff still literally shakes me to the core. I have to be honest, not only am I afraid he'll get hurt or hurt himself, but I'm terrified he'll come here and try to hurt me or us. He's 2 hours away and hasn't set foot in this house since he threatened to kill me last year. He tried once (hitched all the way here - took him 9 hours!!) to come here but we refused to allow him to come to our house bc he's a threat to us and himself. So now, here I sit, full of anxiety and basically freaking out. I keep thinking he's going to come here. I will call the police if he does but what if something happens?? I've checked every window and door a million times but I'm still a wreck. My husband is furious bc this affects us daily - as a family, as a couple, and on a personal level. I love my difficult child more than he'll ever know but he can't see past his hurt and anger towards me. He's in a very dark place right now and I don't know how to "save" him. Anyway, I just needed to vent a little and get some nervous energy out. So glad to have this board to come to at times like this! Thanks for "listening"!