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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 584625" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>TL,</p><p>You have gone through so much worrying, especially lately when difficult child was on the streets, that I can really understand how terrifying it must be to worry that any innocent but misconstrued phrase or expression would be enough to strain your relationship and contribute to his relapse.</p><p>Thinking back to our worst times with difficult child at the height of his abuse, and the crazy shouting and blame hurled my way over and over again really made me think that it must to some degree have something to do with me and the things I have said. I personally think it's because I always found difficult child's stash and never wasted any time confronting him. His rages were part show just to scare and manipulate me into letting him do whatever he wanted. Interestingly, difficult child never freaked out with any one-on-one confrontation with husband. Now that things are better between difficult child and me, I feel I must be extra vigilant at watching my "Ps and Qs" for fear that the tenuous relationship may rupture.</p><p>That is an excellent question also for your Al Anon group - I bet 99% of parents with SA children experience this - I know I do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 584625, member: 13882"] TL, You have gone through so much worrying, especially lately when difficult child was on the streets, that I can really understand how terrifying it must be to worry that any innocent but misconstrued phrase or expression would be enough to strain your relationship and contribute to his relapse. Thinking back to our worst times with difficult child at the height of his abuse, and the crazy shouting and blame hurled my way over and over again really made me think that it must to some degree have something to do with me and the things I have said. I personally think it's because I always found difficult child's stash and never wasted any time confronting him. His rages were part show just to scare and manipulate me into letting him do whatever he wanted. Interestingly, difficult child never freaked out with any one-on-one confrontation with husband. Now that things are better between difficult child and me, I feel I must be extra vigilant at watching my "Ps and Qs" for fear that the tenuous relationship may rupture. That is an excellent question also for your Al Anon group - I bet 99% of parents with SA children experience this - I know I do. [/QUOTE]
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