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Do they even know what love is?
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 26868" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>No, my daughter does not understand what "love" is. To her, "I love you" is a phrase, like "please" and "thank you", that you use when you are being polite, behaving like you are supposed to, trying to appease or wheedle something.</p><p></p><p>She knows what love is intellectually but not emotionally. She expects to receive it unconditionally, but what it means to her is what others do for her. The person who loves her is the one who devotes their life to making sure that her life is pain and trouble free, an impossible task, of course. The "love" she gives, however, consists chiefly of bestowing the right to be the favored one who has the task of devoting their life to making hers trouble and pain free.</p><p></p><p>She has love for people in that she feels grief over their loss, but very little empathy. She was devastated when her grandmother died but had no understanding of her mother's grief. I don't think she really feels that other people experience pain and sadness like she does.</p><p></p><p>She cries at Lifetime movies and reads romances and gobbles up glurges (see <a href="http://www.snopes.com/glurge/glurge.asp" target="_blank">snopes.com</a>) but things like comforting a sick child and cleaning up the poop and vomit in the middle of the night, or dragging herself out of bed to get her child up and dressed and fed and off to school with last night's homework in her backpack, those things are just drudgery, not "love". She could read the previous sentence and agree (and fully believe) that that is what love truly is; but not actually do it.</p><p></p><p>That sounds harsher than I meant it to. I sometimes wonder if my conception of love is pretty much the same as what I described above; I constantly think, "After all I've done for you..."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 26868, member: 3485"] No, my daughter does not understand what "love" is. To her, "I love you" is a phrase, like "please" and "thank you", that you use when you are being polite, behaving like you are supposed to, trying to appease or wheedle something. She knows what love is intellectually but not emotionally. She expects to receive it unconditionally, but what it means to her is what others do for her. The person who loves her is the one who devotes their life to making sure that her life is pain and trouble free, an impossible task, of course. The "love" she gives, however, consists chiefly of bestowing the right to be the favored one who has the task of devoting their life to making hers trouble and pain free. She has love for people in that she feels grief over their loss, but very little empathy. She was devastated when her grandmother died but had no understanding of her mother's grief. I don't think she really feels that other people experience pain and sadness like she does. She cries at Lifetime movies and reads romances and gobbles up glurges (see [url="http://www.snopes.com/glurge/glurge.asp"]snopes.com[/url]) but things like comforting a sick child and cleaning up the poop and vomit in the middle of the night, or dragging herself out of bed to get her child up and dressed and fed and off to school with last night's homework in her backpack, those things are just drudgery, not "love". She could read the previous sentence and agree (and fully believe) that that is what love truly is; but not actually do it. That sounds harsher than I meant it to. I sometimes wonder if my conception of love is pretty much the same as what I described above; I constantly think, "After all I've done for you..." [/QUOTE]
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