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Substance Abuse
Do they just want to destroy their mamma?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 652057" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>LMS, I wonder sometimes how Goneboy is going to feel the first time one of his son's rebels. It is legendary that children from very restrictive homes tend to lash out and say, "Not me, sorry!" Will he walk out on his sons too? The chances of his sons believing that divorce is a mortal sin, that living with somebody outside of marriage is a ticket to hell, that watching the wrong TV shows is the demons at work, or that his only real family is those who belong to his particular sect of Christianity (which excludes most Christians) are probably not very good. Then what will he do? They are 6 and 1 now. </p><p></p><p>in my opinion he is more likely to have a Difficult Child then people who are more flexible. Oh, yes. He also believes in Corporal Punishment as he believes Jesus tells you to whip your kids. Now he is basically a kind man who was forced out of his country of birth at age six and has floundered for an identity. His wife is a real biotch, but she loves her sons. I believe this. I don't believe they have taken a switch to their sons. Spank them though? Yeah, I do think so. Restrict what they can do and see? Absolutely. But they are going to an academically elite school (well six year old is) where he will come in contact with Worldly people and will see that his family is not the norm.</p><p></p><p>Do I wish a Difficult Child on him? On a bad day, yeah, I'd like him to see wh at it's like. On a normal day, no. I don't wish him anything bad. He had such a screwed up start, being adopted out of his country at age six, I don't wish him a sad ending and I know he is happy now.</p><p></p><p>In no way is this young man using drugs, drinking, smoking ciggies and he swears he and his wife were virgins at marriage. If you knew them, you'd be inclined to believe it. She never stayed over at his place once when they were dating and they are just so steeped in their church that they truly feel every word is God's command. So he isn't doing anything wrong, except rejecting those who loved him so much. Yes, that's a big deal, but I don't believe he knows how to love in a normal way. I do know he works so much his wife, whom he truly does adore, rarely sees him. He has his own company and is a millionaire plus some as he used his tremendous brain to show the world that he is not just an orphan from Hong Kong...he matters. Bless him for that.</p><p></p><p>I just wish he would have forgiveness in his heart and he does not. I don't even know for sure what I did. Like your son, mine started acting funny after he met his controlling, sharp-eyed wife who wants him to herself. In her culture (she is Chinese from China) there is little adoption and to her we are not his family. She was even jealous of Princess, Goneboy's Asian sister, because they were sooooooooooo close. I believe she felt he was in love with her and would marry her. Warped, I know, but both Princess and me think this and we didn't talk about it until one day...we had come to the same conclusion. He had asked my daughter once, in a joking way, to marry him since they were not biologically related. She told him, "Um, that's a bit, sick, Goneboy. Um, no." </p><p></p><p>Anyhow, my heart broke for two years, but I fought it wiht extreme counseling and am doing GREAT now. You have a daughter who is typical. Enjoy her. Cherish her. Maybe your kids will eventaully see the light, but right now I'm sure you have many loved ones who need you to be the best you possible...healthy, happy, moving on with your life. You need to do that for yourself as well. </p><p></p><p>"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Let your boys live their sad lives and foster their meanness, but go on and try hard to live your own life and make it a great one. Do get into therapy. Do enjoy the simple things in life that don't judge you...the sun, the grass, the smell of fresh air, the scent of flowers. Find those who appreciate you for the good person you are and hang with them.</p><p></p><p>Let go, let go, let go of your Difficult Child for now. One day at a time. One moment at a time. You still have a life worth living. YOU control it's quality.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 652057, member: 1550"] LMS, I wonder sometimes how Goneboy is going to feel the first time one of his son's rebels. It is legendary that children from very restrictive homes tend to lash out and say, "Not me, sorry!" Will he walk out on his sons too? The chances of his sons believing that divorce is a mortal sin, that living with somebody outside of marriage is a ticket to hell, that watching the wrong TV shows is the demons at work, or that his only real family is those who belong to his particular sect of Christianity (which excludes most Christians) are probably not very good. Then what will he do? They are 6 and 1 now. in my opinion he is more likely to have a Difficult Child then people who are more flexible. Oh, yes. He also believes in Corporal Punishment as he believes Jesus tells you to whip your kids. Now he is basically a kind man who was forced out of his country of birth at age six and has floundered for an identity. His wife is a real biotch, but she loves her sons. I believe this. I don't believe they have taken a switch to their sons. Spank them though? Yeah, I do think so. Restrict what they can do and see? Absolutely. But they are going to an academically elite school (well six year old is) where he will come in contact with Worldly people and will see that his family is not the norm. Do I wish a Difficult Child on him? On a bad day, yeah, I'd like him to see wh at it's like. On a normal day, no. I don't wish him anything bad. He had such a screwed up start, being adopted out of his country at age six, I don't wish him a sad ending and I know he is happy now. In no way is this young man using drugs, drinking, smoking ciggies and he swears he and his wife were virgins at marriage. If you knew them, you'd be inclined to believe it. She never stayed over at his place once when they were dating and they are just so steeped in their church that they truly feel every word is God's command. So he isn't doing anything wrong, except rejecting those who loved him so much. Yes, that's a big deal, but I don't believe he knows how to love in a normal way. I do know he works so much his wife, whom he truly does adore, rarely sees him. He has his own company and is a millionaire plus some as he used his tremendous brain to show the world that he is not just an orphan from Hong Kong...he matters. Bless him for that. I just wish he would have forgiveness in his heart and he does not. I don't even know for sure what I did. Like your son, mine started acting funny after he met his controlling, sharp-eyed wife who wants him to herself. In her culture (she is Chinese from China) there is little adoption and to her we are not his family. She was even jealous of Princess, Goneboy's Asian sister, because they were sooooooooooo close. I believe she felt he was in love with her and would marry her. Warped, I know, but both Princess and me think this and we didn't talk about it until one day...we had come to the same conclusion. He had asked my daughter once, in a joking way, to marry him since they were not biologically related. She told him, "Um, that's a bit, sick, Goneboy. Um, no." Anyhow, my heart broke for two years, but I fought it wiht extreme counseling and am doing GREAT now. You have a daughter who is typical. Enjoy her. Cherish her. Maybe your kids will eventaully see the light, but right now I'm sure you have many loved ones who need you to be the best you possible...healthy, happy, moving on with your life. You need to do that for yourself as well. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Let your boys live their sad lives and foster their meanness, but go on and try hard to live your own life and make it a great one. Do get into therapy. Do enjoy the simple things in life that don't judge you...the sun, the grass, the smell of fresh air, the scent of flowers. Find those who appreciate you for the good person you are and hang with them. Let go, let go, let go of your Difficult Child for now. One day at a time. One moment at a time. You still have a life worth living. YOU control it's quality. [/QUOTE]
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