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Do you and husband/so argue?
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 578222" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Fred and I did not argue or fight. Ok.......I think perhaps I can think of a handful of times over 28 yrs that it made it to official "fight" status. That doesn't mean we never disagreed, because we did. That is not the same thing. </p><p></p><p>I also ran into the whole "but the relationship is not healthy if you don't share your feelings..blah blah blah" We expressed our love and affection without fail and openly. And while we discussed things in depth I really don't recall many of those........well, it made me feel like this when you did such and such ......type conversations. I tried a couple of times and all it did was tick us both off far more than we'd started at. Then I thought about it......and well, did we really need to do it? No. He and I as a couple really had no need for it. For us it only escalated the situation as he wouldn't want to tell me how he felt or shrugged it off and then I'd get ticked he was shutting down. We also knew each other well enough to know without being told pretty much how we felt on subjects. </p><p></p><p>I had rules for arguing though.......which some tdocs thought was brilliant and others thought was stupid (cuz there was no shared feelings lol ). No disrespect. No name calling. No bringing up past garbage unless the new garbage was a repeat of past garbage. Once a "fight" was over, it was over. The no raised voices was not an official rule per se but developed because the more he shouted the quieter I talked even if it meant resorting to a low whisper. It's awfully hard to argue with someone you can barely hear. lol As a result there were maybe 2-3 where our voices were actually above normal volume. </p><p></p><p>I say if it ain't broke don't fix it. I think most couples need to work on ways for good communication and to be honest I do NOT think what works for one couple is a one size fits all thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 578222, member: 84"] Fred and I did not argue or fight. Ok.......I think perhaps I can think of a handful of times over 28 yrs that it made it to official "fight" status. That doesn't mean we never disagreed, because we did. That is not the same thing. I also ran into the whole "but the relationship is not healthy if you don't share your feelings..blah blah blah" We expressed our love and affection without fail and openly. And while we discussed things in depth I really don't recall many of those........well, it made me feel like this when you did such and such ......type conversations. I tried a couple of times and all it did was tick us both off far more than we'd started at. Then I thought about it......and well, did we really need to do it? No. He and I as a couple really had no need for it. For us it only escalated the situation as he wouldn't want to tell me how he felt or shrugged it off and then I'd get ticked he was shutting down. We also knew each other well enough to know without being told pretty much how we felt on subjects. I had rules for arguing though.......which some tdocs thought was brilliant and others thought was stupid (cuz there was no shared feelings lol ). No disrespect. No name calling. No bringing up past garbage unless the new garbage was a repeat of past garbage. Once a "fight" was over, it was over. The no raised voices was not an official rule per se but developed because the more he shouted the quieter I talked even if it meant resorting to a low whisper. It's awfully hard to argue with someone you can barely hear. lol As a result there were maybe 2-3 where our voices were actually above normal volume. I say if it ain't broke don't fix it. I think most couples need to work on ways for good communication and to be honest I do NOT think what works for one couple is a one size fits all thing. [/QUOTE]
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Do you and husband/so argue?
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