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do you ever feel like if only you did something different?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 125491" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Jen - a big hug to you.</p><p> </p><p>I have said this for years and will say it again, and I truly mean it: I have nothing but awe and respect for single moms. The ability to work and parent (a difficult child or two!!) and hold a home together, alone? You and all the other single moms totally humble me. I was a stay at home mom for 16 years, married to a man who is truly a saint, and I still had a hard time keeping it together. When I went back to work 2 years ago (even though I work at home), everything just fell apart around here despite husband's superhuman efforts. I honestly do not know how people keep things together so well. It's *really* hard work.</p><p> </p><p>I'm a bit of a fatalist - things are how they are supposed to be, in the grand scheme of things. There's a reason, though darned if I know what it is. When really bad things happened with my first pregnancy, I did go through a period of thinking that somehow I "earned" this, that I brought this onto my children and my husband. Or that if I had done X, Y, Z, it would've been different. I finally decided that "what if" is a really twisted mind game I was playing on myself. What's done is done - I did the best I could, still do, no matter how pathetic my "best" may be.</p><p> </p><p>I'm also a terminal pessimist. Murphy rules my world. I *always* expect the worst. Very rarely do I get the worst but if I get something even a little bit better than the worst? I feel like I've won the lottery. Wouldn't necessarily recommend this as a healthy coping skill, LOL, but... I have to tell you, I'm rarely disappointed with our lot in life these days. If everyone makes it home safely at the end of the day, it's a good day.</p><p> </p><p>You're under an incredibly amount of pressure and stress right now but at the same time, you're being, from where I'm sitting, a good parent for both your kids. You may feel like you're falling apart but you're not. You're still right in there, dealing with teachers and professionals and hotel confirmation/cancellation issues. You're doing a great job, hon.</p><p> </p><p>You did *not* cause any of these challenges, but you absolutely are dealing with them to the very best of your ability. Allow yourself the pity party because things didn't turn out the way you thought they would, but don't forget to give yourself credit for the way you've handled the challenges.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 125491, member: 8"] Jen - a big hug to you. I have said this for years and will say it again, and I truly mean it: I have nothing but awe and respect for single moms. The ability to work and parent (a difficult child or two!!) and hold a home together, alone? You and all the other single moms totally humble me. I was a stay at home mom for 16 years, married to a man who is truly a saint, and I still had a hard time keeping it together. When I went back to work 2 years ago (even though I work at home), everything just fell apart around here despite husband's superhuman efforts. I honestly do not know how people keep things together so well. It's *really* hard work. I'm a bit of a fatalist - things are how they are supposed to be, in the grand scheme of things. There's a reason, though darned if I know what it is. When really bad things happened with my first pregnancy, I did go through a period of thinking that somehow I "earned" this, that I brought this onto my children and my husband. Or that if I had done X, Y, Z, it would've been different. I finally decided that "what if" is a really twisted mind game I was playing on myself. What's done is done - I did the best I could, still do, no matter how pathetic my "best" may be. I'm also a terminal pessimist. Murphy rules my world. I *always* expect the worst. Very rarely do I get the worst but if I get something even a little bit better than the worst? I feel like I've won the lottery. Wouldn't necessarily recommend this as a healthy coping skill, LOL, but... I have to tell you, I'm rarely disappointed with our lot in life these days. If everyone makes it home safely at the end of the day, it's a good day. You're under an incredibly amount of pressure and stress right now but at the same time, you're being, from where I'm sitting, a good parent for both your kids. You may feel like you're falling apart but you're not. You're still right in there, dealing with teachers and professionals and hotel confirmation/cancellation issues. You're doing a great job, hon. You did *not* cause any of these challenges, but you absolutely are dealing with them to the very best of your ability. Allow yourself the pity party because things didn't turn out the way you thought they would, but don't forget to give yourself credit for the way you've handled the challenges. [/QUOTE]
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do you ever feel like if only you did something different?
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