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The Watercooler
do you ever feel like if only you did something different?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 125630" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>{{{jennifer}}} sending lots of hugs to you. been there done that, STILL DOING THAT...there are many moments over the years where I've spent my time in the shower sobbing (so no one would hear me) over how I could have made things turn out differently...what did I do wrong...maybe if I had stuck it out with exh...maybe remarrying wasn't such a good idea...maybe moving 150 miles away to take an excellent job and putting them in daycare wasn't good for the kiddos after all...maybe putting difficult child on medications at 10 wasn't the right thing...maybe I went overboard with trying to find a diagnosis for her...maybe I should not have fought to put her in Special Education...maybe, maybe maybe.</p><p> </p><p>The bottom line is that you were not purely selfish in the choices you made for yourself and your family. You made choices that you thought were best based on what you knew, know and/or researched. Our emotions rule us in so many aspects of our lives and that's not such a bad thing really. </p><p> </p><p>I think fulfilling yourself is a great place to start; treat yourself well, nurture YOU...then you can be the person your family needs you to be (and I do not mean you are what your family needs you to be by giving your ALL 100% of the time - often they need LESS of you). Hugs~</p><p> </p><p>And thank you to all of you who wrote in about the June Cleaverish homes, by the book, traditional nuclear family lives that you've provided for your difficult child's. Hearing that certainly takes away some of the doubts I have about how I parented my difficult child. But then, I've been called a June Cleaver by many friends over the years (and I think I'm anything but)...and I also look at easy child so if how our kids are wired and how they turn out has anything to do with how we raised them, then I guess I have done very well...but I don't think it's all one or the other. It is what it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 125630, member: 2211"] {{{jennifer}}} sending lots of hugs to you. been there done that, STILL DOING THAT...there are many moments over the years where I've spent my time in the shower sobbing (so no one would hear me) over how I could have made things turn out differently...what did I do wrong...maybe if I had stuck it out with exh...maybe remarrying wasn't such a good idea...maybe moving 150 miles away to take an excellent job and putting them in daycare wasn't good for the kiddos after all...maybe putting difficult child on medications at 10 wasn't the right thing...maybe I went overboard with trying to find a diagnosis for her...maybe I should not have fought to put her in Special Education...maybe, maybe maybe. The bottom line is that you were not purely selfish in the choices you made for yourself and your family. You made choices that you thought were best based on what you knew, know and/or researched. Our emotions rule us in so many aspects of our lives and that's not such a bad thing really. I think fulfilling yourself is a great place to start; treat yourself well, nurture YOU...then you can be the person your family needs you to be (and I do not mean you are what your family needs you to be by giving your ALL 100% of the time - often they need LESS of you). Hugs~ And thank you to all of you who wrote in about the June Cleaverish homes, by the book, traditional nuclear family lives that you've provided for your difficult child's. Hearing that certainly takes away some of the doubts I have about how I parented my difficult child. But then, I've been called a June Cleaver by many friends over the years (and I think I'm anything but)...and I also look at easy child so if how our kids are wired and how they turn out has anything to do with how we raised them, then I guess I have done very well...but I don't think it's all one or the other. It is what it is. [/QUOTE]
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do you ever feel like if only you did something different?
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