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do you ever feel like if only you did something different?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 125679"><p>I recognize that this is a little simplistic...but it might be a good place to start. I really like the Feeling Good book. I posted an article on it and it listed the main ways the author feels folks tend to think incorrectly.</p><p>Here is one of them:</p><p>" You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be. After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told herself, 'I shouldn't have made so many mistakes.' This made her feel so disgusted that she quit practicing for several days. 'Musts,' 'oughts' and 'have tos' are similar offenders. These 'should statements' that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration. Should statements that are directed against other people or the world in general, lead to anger and frustration: 'He shouldn't be so stubborn and argumentative!'</p><p> </p><p>I also like the works of Vicktor Frankl who has many good and interesting things to say. One of which is that our biggest and most important choice in life to make is whether or not a situation is going to negatively influence us.</p><p> </p><p>Try to concentrate on what is going right with you and your family. Be proud of the good efforts that you have made. Even if your impact/influence was a minor one, you have done many good and noble things...you are a good parent and you should feel proud and wonderful about yourself. Don't let anyone take that from you.</p><p> </p><p>by the way...do you have a therapist to help you with the stress you are under? Do you practice good self care? Taking care of special needs children is hard on the mind and body. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway...these concepts give me strength when I have moments like the one you are experiencing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 125679"] I recognize that this is a little simplistic...but it might be a good place to start. I really like the Feeling Good book. I posted an article on it and it listed the main ways the author feels folks tend to think incorrectly. Here is one of them: " You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to be. After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told herself, 'I shouldn't have made so many mistakes.' This made her feel so disgusted that she quit practicing for several days. 'Musts,' 'oughts' and 'have tos' are similar offenders. These 'should statements' that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration. Should statements that are directed against other people or the world in general, lead to anger and frustration: 'He shouldn't be so stubborn and argumentative!' I also like the works of Vicktor Frankl who has many good and interesting things to say. One of which is that our biggest and most important choice in life to make is whether or not a situation is going to negatively influence us. Try to concentrate on what is going right with you and your family. Be proud of the good efforts that you have made. Even if your impact/influence was a minor one, you have done many good and noble things...you are a good parent and you should feel proud and wonderful about yourself. Don't let anyone take that from you. by the way...do you have a therapist to help you with the stress you are under? Do you practice good self care? Taking care of special needs children is hard on the mind and body. Anyway...these concepts give me strength when I have moments like the one you are experiencing. [/QUOTE]
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do you ever feel like if only you did something different?
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