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do you ever feel like if only you did something different?
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 125833" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Jen...</p><p></p><p>There have been many times I have sat back from my perch on the far side of parenting my kids and wondered "what could or should I have done differently to get different results for each of my kids?" </p><p></p><p>For one of them the answer is pretty easy. I dont think I would have done much differently except maybe try to push academics a bit harder. But even that hasnt been a big issue for him. This is my middle child Im talking about. My so severely ADHD kid that he could literally not sit still for a minute without ritalin. However, he wasnt a behavior problem and he had a lifelong goal and he met it and is now a fully functioning, responsible member of society. Works for me.</p><p></p><p>For my oldest I have some guilt about some decisions we made due to not being informed of some things I could have done when he had some issues with being severely bullied in middle school. I pulled him out and sent him to live with my mom. Biggest mistake of his life looking back. That also took me out of the loop to see how what I know now is Aspergers was really rearing its head. I might have been able to get him treatment if he was with me. </p><p></p><p>With Cory, I dont think I could have done much different. I tried everything. Im quite certain if they had told us that if we dunked him in horse pee and then had us drink it and it was a sure cure, we would have done it! At this point I have to leave it up to him to realize all the stuff we did try and decide if he wants to use any of it. At least he knows how to call on professionals should he want to make that calls. </p><p></p><p>The only real guilt I do have floating around deals with my mental health issues. I know that by not getting myself diagnosed at a much earlier age I put my family through more hell than they needed to go through. But again, that is something I simply didnt know how to do. I didnt know what bipolar was. I had reached out several times about feeling depressed or having anxiety and was brushed off. I also feel some guilt over the whole genetic thing. Did I pass this whole thing down to them? But then I think...well I may have passed down MI genes but I also passed down some good genes too. My boys are incredibly smart kids. They both will tell anyone that they hope their kids get MY intelligence...lol. And do trust me with the whole lot of them...I am the leader of the pack...lmao. </p><p></p><p>My advice is to slow down some. Take one problem at a time and get a plan in place and just follow through on it. Get some organization going. It takes it with more than one kid. Set schedules and stick to them. You cant solve everything in one day or one week. Eat the elephant in small bites.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 125833, member: 1514"] Jen... There have been many times I have sat back from my perch on the far side of parenting my kids and wondered "what could or should I have done differently to get different results for each of my kids?" For one of them the answer is pretty easy. I dont think I would have done much differently except maybe try to push academics a bit harder. But even that hasnt been a big issue for him. This is my middle child Im talking about. My so severely ADHD kid that he could literally not sit still for a minute without ritalin. However, he wasnt a behavior problem and he had a lifelong goal and he met it and is now a fully functioning, responsible member of society. Works for me. For my oldest I have some guilt about some decisions we made due to not being informed of some things I could have done when he had some issues with being severely bullied in middle school. I pulled him out and sent him to live with my mom. Biggest mistake of his life looking back. That also took me out of the loop to see how what I know now is Aspergers was really rearing its head. I might have been able to get him treatment if he was with me. With Cory, I dont think I could have done much different. I tried everything. Im quite certain if they had told us that if we dunked him in horse pee and then had us drink it and it was a sure cure, we would have done it! At this point I have to leave it up to him to realize all the stuff we did try and decide if he wants to use any of it. At least he knows how to call on professionals should he want to make that calls. The only real guilt I do have floating around deals with my mental health issues. I know that by not getting myself diagnosed at a much earlier age I put my family through more hell than they needed to go through. But again, that is something I simply didnt know how to do. I didnt know what bipolar was. I had reached out several times about feeling depressed or having anxiety and was brushed off. I also feel some guilt over the whole genetic thing. Did I pass this whole thing down to them? But then I think...well I may have passed down MI genes but I also passed down some good genes too. My boys are incredibly smart kids. They both will tell anyone that they hope their kids get MY intelligence...lol. And do trust me with the whole lot of them...I am the leader of the pack...lmao. My advice is to slow down some. Take one problem at a time and get a plan in place and just follow through on it. Get some organization going. It takes it with more than one kid. Set schedules and stick to them. You cant solve everything in one day or one week. Eat the elephant in small bites. [/QUOTE]
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