Hang on, I just want to clarify - the link between autism and bipolar? I would like to see the references on that. I am sceptical.
However, there has been a lot of work done (at least here in Australia by a number of researchers, some of whom were also working alongside CDC in Atlanta) that having chronic illness yourself or in the family leads to depression and other reactive mental illness. Basically, if you've got chronic problems in the family and you're NOT affected by it, you must be crazy!
Seriously - I can't see any signs of bipolar in my immediate family (I mean siblings as well as their offspring, or our parents). I can see some problems in husband's side that I can't get a handle on, plus I can see probable Aspie signs on both sides (his and mine).
Depression? Yep. Before we had kids with problems, too. I also have chronic health problems (which is what brought me into contact with the research team I mentioned above) and know there was significant depression associated with that. Plus my three older kids were all involved in an organisation called Carers NSW where they emphasised the need for carers, especially children who are also carers, to look after their mental health. I wish you had something like Carers NSW in the US, especially for the kids who are carers. This mob organises camps for kids who help look after a family member (parent, sibling, grandparent) with a long-term mental or physical illness. These camps give the kids a chance to do fun stuff that they otherwise miss out on due to lack of money or lack of opportunity. It's a lot more difficult to take kids to an amusement park when a sibling is autistic and can't cope with the crowds, or when a parent is in a wheelchair.
The camps are donated by various welfare groups but run by trained volunteers, many of whom are former child carers (now adult, now professional psychologists or other therapists). The kids are given a lot of fun things to do that they often have never done before. easy child met her husband when she was 14, at one of these camps. We actually did get out a lot more than many such families, we took him with us to an amusement park west of Sydney and IT WAS THE FIRST TIME he had ever been to an amusement park; first time he had ever eaten fairy floss (you call it cotton candy) - a lot of firsts. easy child 2/difficult child 2's favourite camps were the snow trips - she met her husband on one of those! Not only have they been to the snow several times, but they also did a Bridge climb - Sydney Harbour Bridge, something I will probably never be able to do (or afford to do). Sydney Bridge Climb donated these tickets to the Young Carers. At these camps the kids also get group therapy time, they get to share how they cope, talk about their problems (treated confidentially) under the supervision of a trained therapist. The kids have had media opportunities too, but only those kids who they feel can cope and only after parental permission is given. SIL1 also got a trip to Canada with his mother when he was 15 - they realised just how limited his life had been and it was organised through another charity. They also gave him a computer and his first internet connection, which has set him on his IT career path.
All donated - it's just a matter of someone at the centre, organising it all. The parents don't pay anything, it's all covered.
We keep telling ourselves here to look after ourselves, to make sure we have time for ourselves with all we do for our difficult children. But we shouldn't forget our PCs either. Or if we have more than one difficult child - remember, a difficult child can still also be a carer. Linda, you would understand that because with all her problems, I'm sure kt really does try to help you when she is home, as far as she can.
Having a difficult child can send you nuts. It is stressful, for sure. Yes there are also joys, but sometimes they feel a long way apart. We need to always look after our mental health while we are rushing around looking after our kids. We also need to look after the mental health of others in the family, who risk going unregarded.
So yes, having a difficult child can drive you nuts. But bipolar? I think that's maybe long odds.
However, having a difficult child can certainly give you mood swings and if a doctor is inclined to see bipolar under every rock, it sure would follow that if you have an autistic child (with the frustrations, the despairs and the occasional joy) then a doctor could find bipolar if he wanted to.
Marg
