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Do you ever feel .... m
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<blockquote data-quote="hamlet" data-source="post: 433255" data-attributes="member: 11970"><p>sosotired, I definitely feel that I'm always waiting for the next shoe to drop. Sometimes I worry that I can't even feel or express the depth of my love for difficult child because there's no space between us for something that simple - every interaction is complex, every event has so many layers, every statement has multiple meanings. I'm constantly questioning, "What does this new thing mean?"</p><p></p><p>When we go to see his therapist and she asks me "how is it going?" even if there's been no outbursts or cataclysmic event I still feel like crying. I'm constantly on the look-out and maneuvering to try to prevent a blow up. Some people have described it as walking on eggshells; it's the same feeling I had living with my emotionally abusive ex-husband.</p><p></p><p>I'm a newbie so I won't presume to give you advice, however I picked this up from Allan Katz who blogs and posts here. He said that the first step can be to relax the atmosphere in the home. I believe in that since I'm already following the advice of a book called Scream Free Parenting by Hal Runkel. Also, my Buddhist beliefs have taught me that my desire to rid myself of difficulties and pain is suffering in and of itself. I can't rid myself of suffering and even if I managed to get rid of this particular pain I would still have pain. Better to focus on the joy!</p><p></p><p>I hope we can both find a way to enjoy our difficult child for what and who they are.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hamlet, post: 433255, member: 11970"] sosotired, I definitely feel that I'm always waiting for the next shoe to drop. Sometimes I worry that I can't even feel or express the depth of my love for difficult child because there's no space between us for something that simple - every interaction is complex, every event has so many layers, every statement has multiple meanings. I'm constantly questioning, "What does this new thing mean?" When we go to see his therapist and she asks me "how is it going?" even if there's been no outbursts or cataclysmic event I still feel like crying. I'm constantly on the look-out and maneuvering to try to prevent a blow up. Some people have described it as walking on eggshells; it's the same feeling I had living with my emotionally abusive ex-husband. I'm a newbie so I won't presume to give you advice, however I picked this up from Allan Katz who blogs and posts here. He said that the first step can be to relax the atmosphere in the home. I believe in that since I'm already following the advice of a book called Scream Free Parenting by Hal Runkel. Also, my Buddhist beliefs have taught me that my desire to rid myself of difficulties and pain is suffering in and of itself. I can't rid myself of suffering and even if I managed to get rid of this particular pain I would still have pain. Better to focus on the joy! I hope we can both find a way to enjoy our difficult child for what and who they are. [/QUOTE]
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