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<blockquote data-quote="KTMom91" data-source="post: 433548" data-attributes="member: 4040"><p>Malika, the "getting better" didn't happen for years...I had to learn to be more structured in my responses to Miss KT's all-or-nothing thinking, and as she matured, she became more reasonable. Her hyperactivity was off the charts; Ritalin was wearing off after an hour, and she was literally bouncing off walls at school. She couldn't (can't) handle changes in routine, and I would have to stick to the plan and be prepared to leave the store/meeting/church/whatever with a screaming, kicking child tucked under my arm. Since I was a single parent, it was a challenge to get the basic chores done without her cooperation, but if I gave her too much input and/or leeway, she couldn't handle it, and that would almost guarantee a meltdown.</p><p></p><p>I learned to go grocery shopping at 6 am, when the store was empty. Fewer people meant a smaller audience for her fits. After we finished loading up the cart, we went to the bakery section, where she got to choose one thing from the donut case. Doing errands after school, when we were both tired and hungry, was a disaster. I learned that Target is full of fascinating things, and sometimes I just had to pick her up later from day care rather than put her into a situation she couldn't handle and I didn't want to deal with. Small trips, one thing at a time. </p><p></p><p>I learned to get over being embarrassed (for the most part) at her antics, and believe me, that gets harder when they get older and are supposed to "know better!" I learned to pick my battles and stand very very firm on what I was not willing to negotiate or let slide, not only from Miss KT, but from her friends, teachers, coaches, doctors...and also, to fight FOR my kid when necessary, against those same friends, teachers, coaches, and doctors. So, basically, I was getting up into people's faces on a regular basis. District administration knew who I was...and they still let me work there!</p><p></p><p>I don't know if what I did was right; all I can say is that I got to the point where I didn't want my daughter to be a professional victim, and that meant teaching her to advocate for herself and learn to be as independent as possible. It's still a work in progress, but when I look back, I can see how far she's come.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KTMom91, post: 433548, member: 4040"] Malika, the "getting better" didn't happen for years...I had to learn to be more structured in my responses to Miss KT's all-or-nothing thinking, and as she matured, she became more reasonable. Her hyperactivity was off the charts; Ritalin was wearing off after an hour, and she was literally bouncing off walls at school. She couldn't (can't) handle changes in routine, and I would have to stick to the plan and be prepared to leave the store/meeting/church/whatever with a screaming, kicking child tucked under my arm. Since I was a single parent, it was a challenge to get the basic chores done without her cooperation, but if I gave her too much input and/or leeway, she couldn't handle it, and that would almost guarantee a meltdown. I learned to go grocery shopping at 6 am, when the store was empty. Fewer people meant a smaller audience for her fits. After we finished loading up the cart, we went to the bakery section, where she got to choose one thing from the donut case. Doing errands after school, when we were both tired and hungry, was a disaster. I learned that Target is full of fascinating things, and sometimes I just had to pick her up later from day care rather than put her into a situation she couldn't handle and I didn't want to deal with. Small trips, one thing at a time. I learned to get over being embarrassed (for the most part) at her antics, and believe me, that gets harder when they get older and are supposed to "know better!" I learned to pick my battles and stand very very firm on what I was not willing to negotiate or let slide, not only from Miss KT, but from her friends, teachers, coaches, doctors...and also, to fight FOR my kid when necessary, against those same friends, teachers, coaches, and doctors. So, basically, I was getting up into people's faces on a regular basis. District administration knew who I was...and they still let me work there! I don't know if what I did was right; all I can say is that I got to the point where I didn't want my daughter to be a professional victim, and that meant teaching her to advocate for herself and learn to be as independent as possible. It's still a work in progress, but when I look back, I can see how far she's come. [/QUOTE]
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