Do you hear me screaming....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Mar 11, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    The last few days have been anything but pleasant. Given that, I'm home from the hospital, kt is home from the only emergency shelter bed in town & Sally is home from the kennel.

    Well, I had at least a dozen phone calls today regarding kt. School regarding the group home/shelter she was at ~ just not a good fit for her. Yup, okay, got that handled. The next call from CM telling me that kt had to go back to the shelter from school & he would pick her up & deliver her home (for a small fee ;) NOT). Another call from school ~ kt needed to talk. Call from in home therapist who needed to be updated on what has been going on. CADI manager chimed in with the status of reinstating the CADI services as of yesterday afternoon......and on and on and on.

    However, the most interesting, disturbing one was from the group shelter home. They called me to tell me that I needed to get kt in for an eye exam - she didn't see well during her physical. "Does she have her glasses with her?" "No" "Well, okay then ~ I don't see well when I don't wear my glasses either".

    I was next informed about kt's weight ~ I needed to do something about that. "Yup, real aware of that, however she's dropped something like 30 pounds over the last year just due to losing that baby fat."

    I was most insulted that they hadn't read kt's history of abuse or that husband had died 2 months ago yesterday. "Are you aware of kt's day dying? Are you aware of her abuse & neglect in the bio home?" "Well, no ~ we didn't read the hx."

    "Read it, get a clue on kt & then call me with concerns. I'm on top of this child's needs more than you can believe."

    I was infuriated. This home had wanted kt to stay for her inpatient. Not a good fit & psychiatrist cannot practice there. Not going to happen. Find some other kid ~ I figure kt's bed was filled before kt left the building.

    Done whining. I just hate people who do not do their entire job & try to flaunt information at me about my children that I already know & have addressed.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yep-I think I heard you screaming. I thought it was only the loud wind (we are under a wind advisory) but it must have really been you!:)

    I would have been infuriated as well. In addition, that and all the other phone calls are the last thing you need after being in the hospital.

  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am infuriated right along with you! Why is it that these so called "concerned" people can't be bothered with the simplest of things like checking out a child's history? I am sure in the hospital they pestered you with the same questions over and over. I had to pretty much educate all the nurses except one each time they came on shift.

    All you really needed was a few days at home to rest before the idiots started with this. WHY couldn't they do their job competently and NOT bother you until they had the facts???

    PLEASE don't let these people wear you out. Set a time that you will do calls. Anyone calling after that time can leave a message and you will call them back tomorrow! Your rest is just more important than their idiocy!!

    Except for kt calling, of course!

    Gentle, soothing music and a warm cuppa, then a nice nap are what you need. Want me to come witch-slap some people into shape???
  4. Stella

    Stella New Member

    This is something that never ceases to amaze me. difficult child has a multi-discipinary team on her caseincluding psychiatrist, social workers, Occupational Therapist (OT), family therapist - and I am constantly baffled by the lack of communication between the "team" and the fact that some of them haven't even bothered to read her file from start to finish. I know they are busy people and have a lot of other children to deal with apart from my difficult child but isn't it a very obvious thing to do to sit down and read any updates in the file before they sit down and discuss difficult child with me!! grrrr....
  5. Janna

    Janna New Member


    I'd say I was surprised by them not reading the hx, but I'm not. It's just unbelievable, yes, but not.

    I'm sorry you're going through this. People can really make your job 10x harder when they don't do theirs. It's exhausting trying to keep up with everyone else.

    I hope you're able to get some time in for yourself during all this.
  6. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    I can totally understand your frustrations, but please try not to let all that nonsense get too much under your skin. You just came home from the hospital and you need your rest. This stress can't be good for you right now. Take it with a grain of salt and press on. Try not to let their ignorance and quite frankly, their stupidity get you down! I can't believe they didn't bother reading up on her history, though. Pure laziness, I guess!

  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Last night a real strong roar came through the neighborhood. I thought it was the wind of the blizzard but must have been you.

    I am so sorry. They each sound like difficult child's in their own right making a mountain of trouble out of a mole hole. Getting excited that they found a problem that isn't there. Ask them if they have anxiety problems themselves to get so worked up over nothing.
  8. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'd be furious, too. That's surely worth a letter of complaint to someone, isn't it?

    Incompetency is just maddening.
  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    :hammer:"Oh, we were supposed to actually read her charts!?" "Well that's a new one"
    Just one more thing...
    I think I heard you scream all the way out here.
    I am sorry.
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think gcvmom is correct in that a complaint about the shelter SHOULD be made when you feel up to it. I don't know if you got the person's name or not, but calling to get that (or just the director's name) shouldn't be too hard - when you are feeling up to it.

    If you need help drafting one, surely we could help out with that on here?

    To be honest, that "shelter" certainly doesn't seem very safe if they cannot be bothered to read a child's file even to the point to see she just lost her adoptive father 2 months ago! I wonder how much neglect is going on there, or even downright abuse (esp between the children who are there!) and it is simply overlooked because no one really gives a plugged nickel about the children.

    sorry kt had to spend time with these idiots. I hope you can come up with a better plan for next time. Hopefully there will be NO next time, but kt will feel safer if there is a plan.

    Gentle hugs to both of you!
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    How infuriating. I'm screaming along with-you.
    Did you know that "idiots" is the same in Russian, Spanish and English?
  13. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    You all know that if there is a next time I will have something in place. To be real honest I'd been working on guardianship issues & such with a family attorney to no avail.

    I've already started a letter to the director of this home. The population in that home changes almost daily (a true emergency shelter bed); in my humble opinion, if it's that volatile in census day to day, they probably ought not try the group therapies & such. I truly believe that this shelter/group home doesn't know what it's supposed to be doing ~ hasn't defined itself in the community. AND that isn't my problem; it's their lack of professionalism that IS my problem.

    CM wasn't too excited about this situation as he rec'd many calls about kt's "lack of care in the home" while I was in the hospital. At first he blew them off, then had to set them straight.

    Working on that plan; this coming Monday we have a 45 day evaluation/staffing for kt & an emergency plan will be on the agenda as well.

    Thanks ladies ~ this certainly has been an eye opening experience.