Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Do you know a Psychopath?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 130445" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We can get misled into thinking that all sociopaths (aka psychopaths) are criminally insane. But in fact, they are VERY sane and generally not criminal. They tend to be law-abiding, but generally because they don't want to get caught or lose their liberty. </p><p></p><p>I've known a few. A work colleague of mine definitely qualified - very charming, wooed the ladies, had the head of department totally on his side and did his utmost to sabotage me in my job, and almost succeeded. He would break rules constantly but talk his way out of trouble. His dislike for me was because I was immune to his charms (hence he labelled me a lesbian, which everyone believed despite my being married) and also because I was good at my job and this showed him up.</p><p></p><p>My fast track to promotion stalled for six years, because of this bloke. Once he left - the entire atmosphere cleared up, we were all happier and suddenly we got a great deal more done, while feeling we were doing a lot less work. I was now running a laboratory that was a pleasant, productive place instead of an inefficient workplace where we had to constantly watch our backs.</p><p></p><p>I have had two stalkers, both online. One also 'stalked' in other ways, constantly pumping my friends and family for information about me. He is still in the area but his interests have moved on. He fits the criteria.</p><p>The other - she has moved away. It was only after she left that a few of us who had been badly hurt by her, began to compare notes. She would make up lies about people purely for her own enjoyment. She loved to hurt people and to 'play' with them, just for the fun of it. I was more on the fringe of it except for the internet stuff, where she went for my jugular and then printed out stuff I'd written, played with it, presented it along with a "Do you know what she is saying about you for the world to see?" note and sent it to various people. I was accused of sending this stuff to people myself. What was often on the printout with my name on, was often not my original words but had been 'personalised' to make it look like I was making a public personal attack.</p><p>Her aim - to damage my standing, to keep me busy and to discredit me thoroughly.</p><p>Some people still believe that rubbish, even after the evidence to the contrary cleared me. It taught me who to trust, and who to be polite to but never rely on.</p><p></p><p>Another man I know NOW - borderline sociopath, I think. He, like that woman, seems to enjoy tormenting people. He doesn't seem to understand (or care about) propriety. If he can get a laugh out of making someone angry, he will. He is an artist, of sorts, but his creations are deliberately 'waffly' and confronting. He thinks it's funny to put together a weird mishmash of junk, give it a name that implies something high-faluting, and sit back and listen to the comments of the public at exhibition (our exhibitions - all you have to do is pay the fee and your work is on display). He's been open and honest with me about this, he has tried to involve me in his little schemes. "Look what I threw together in the shed over the weekend? That rock is from the garden, I found this stick, the old bird cage is from the rubbish dump and I strung some lights through it, called it something fancy, and it's hilarious to hear what people are saying. They think it's art! But the joke is on them!"</p><p>I've seen him do it - he sits in the gallery, apparently engrossed in a book, and I see his shoulders shaking as he laughs to himself. I've listened too, and all I mostly hear is "What on earth is that rubbish?" But for every ten comments like that, all it takes is one, "Yes, I think I see what the artist is trying to say," and it's made his day.</p><p></p><p>He does this with people too, not just sticks. Unfortunately with him, and with my former co-worker, they have their downfall moments too. </p><p></p><p>One thing I'm intrigued by, and I have no evidence at this stage, but my artist 'friend' and my former co-worker were both Iron Curtain refugees in childhood. From parts of their stories they have shared (even sociopaths get drunk occasionally) I know that they had to, at some level, harden their hearts to shut off from any concern for others. It became a matter of personal survival, emotionally and physically. And I wonder how many sociopaths have been 'made' in this way?</p><p></p><p>Sociopaths are remarkably common. The cleverer ones are often the most successful, and are less likely to be the criminals. Because they're good at getting away with it.</p><p></p><p>Janet, I think you're right about Cory, from things you've shared with us before. And there's not a thing you can do about it.</p><p></p><p>If you think you can identify a sociopath in your life, the first big rule is - detach. The second one is - stay below their radar. Do not be a threat to them. Do not be of interest to them. Do not get between a sociopath and what that sociopath wants, whether it be another person, or just a sandwich.</p><p></p><p>And if you can't keep those rules - lay in some good insurance and ensure you have an escape built in.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 130445, member: 1991"] We can get misled into thinking that all sociopaths (aka psychopaths) are criminally insane. But in fact, they are VERY sane and generally not criminal. They tend to be law-abiding, but generally because they don't want to get caught or lose their liberty. I've known a few. A work colleague of mine definitely qualified - very charming, wooed the ladies, had the head of department totally on his side and did his utmost to sabotage me in my job, and almost succeeded. He would break rules constantly but talk his way out of trouble. His dislike for me was because I was immune to his charms (hence he labelled me a lesbian, which everyone believed despite my being married) and also because I was good at my job and this showed him up. My fast track to promotion stalled for six years, because of this bloke. Once he left - the entire atmosphere cleared up, we were all happier and suddenly we got a great deal more done, while feeling we were doing a lot less work. I was now running a laboratory that was a pleasant, productive place instead of an inefficient workplace where we had to constantly watch our backs. I have had two stalkers, both online. One also 'stalked' in other ways, constantly pumping my friends and family for information about me. He is still in the area but his interests have moved on. He fits the criteria. The other - she has moved away. It was only after she left that a few of us who had been badly hurt by her, began to compare notes. She would make up lies about people purely for her own enjoyment. She loved to hurt people and to 'play' with them, just for the fun of it. I was more on the fringe of it except for the internet stuff, where she went for my jugular and then printed out stuff I'd written, played with it, presented it along with a "Do you know what she is saying about you for the world to see?" note and sent it to various people. I was accused of sending this stuff to people myself. What was often on the printout with my name on, was often not my original words but had been 'personalised' to make it look like I was making a public personal attack. Her aim - to damage my standing, to keep me busy and to discredit me thoroughly. Some people still believe that rubbish, even after the evidence to the contrary cleared me. It taught me who to trust, and who to be polite to but never rely on. Another man I know NOW - borderline sociopath, I think. He, like that woman, seems to enjoy tormenting people. He doesn't seem to understand (or care about) propriety. If he can get a laugh out of making someone angry, he will. He is an artist, of sorts, but his creations are deliberately 'waffly' and confronting. He thinks it's funny to put together a weird mishmash of junk, give it a name that implies something high-faluting, and sit back and listen to the comments of the public at exhibition (our exhibitions - all you have to do is pay the fee and your work is on display). He's been open and honest with me about this, he has tried to involve me in his little schemes. "Look what I threw together in the shed over the weekend? That rock is from the garden, I found this stick, the old bird cage is from the rubbish dump and I strung some lights through it, called it something fancy, and it's hilarious to hear what people are saying. They think it's art! But the joke is on them!" I've seen him do it - he sits in the gallery, apparently engrossed in a book, and I see his shoulders shaking as he laughs to himself. I've listened too, and all I mostly hear is "What on earth is that rubbish?" But for every ten comments like that, all it takes is one, "Yes, I think I see what the artist is trying to say," and it's made his day. He does this with people too, not just sticks. Unfortunately with him, and with my former co-worker, they have their downfall moments too. One thing I'm intrigued by, and I have no evidence at this stage, but my artist 'friend' and my former co-worker were both Iron Curtain refugees in childhood. From parts of their stories they have shared (even sociopaths get drunk occasionally) I know that they had to, at some level, harden their hearts to shut off from any concern for others. It became a matter of personal survival, emotionally and physically. And I wonder how many sociopaths have been 'made' in this way? Sociopaths are remarkably common. The cleverer ones are often the most successful, and are less likely to be the criminals. Because they're good at getting away with it. Janet, I think you're right about Cory, from things you've shared with us before. And there's not a thing you can do about it. If you think you can identify a sociopath in your life, the first big rule is - detach. The second one is - stay below their radar. Do not be a threat to them. Do not be of interest to them. Do not get between a sociopath and what that sociopath wants, whether it be another person, or just a sandwich. And if you can't keep those rules - lay in some good insurance and ensure you have an escape built in. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Do you know a Psychopath?
Top