Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Do you know a Psychopath?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 130695" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Donna, from reading and other research I've done on this topic, I understand that "sociopath" and "psychopath" are used interchangeably. I think "Sociopath" is the more correct term, but I could be wrong, I've only been reading from a lay point of view.</p><p></p><p>Your husband - if he either doesn't mean to hurt people, or is completely oblivious to how he hurts people and WILL NOT see the truth, then he may not qualify as sociopath. In my understanding, a sociopath KNOWS they are manipulating people, knows they are doing what THEY want, regardless, and they don't care. They know it is wrong, but consider it justified to "do unto others before they do unto you" because clearly, THEY are more important and more deserving than everybody else. These people are capable of caring about others, but not in the same way or to the same degree. Often they view their 'loved ones' more as possessions or extensions of themselves.</p><p></p><p>The woman I mentioned - I likened her to the boy Kay in "The Snow Queen" story by Hans Christian Andersen; only seeing the world through a distorting lens, so everything nice looks ugly and despicable, with his heart hardened to a chip of ice. She would be introduced to a really good person, someone who is kind, does good things for others - and be immediately planning how to destroy that person's reputation. It was deliberate and calculated. She was secretly cruel to her friends, but used this cruelty to control them. To her enemies (such as her ex-husband), she was more open but still hid her actions where she could. She cultivated a friendship with a close friend's family, so she could then turn the family from loyalty to their sister, with lies and distortion ("Did you know that she once said that you were ...?") In doing so, she made them look through the same distorting mirror, and the wave of depression that seemed to follow this woman was like an epidemic, with her sardonic smile leading the pack.</p><p>She never attacked me to my face, only via the 'Net. Once I realised who it was I stopped worrying, but never gave her the satisfaction that I knew. Instead I kept my mouth shut and my eyes open, and when she left I waited as people slowly began to see the light for themselves.</p><p>The difference here, Donna, is I get from your description that your ex is in denial about what a nasty piece of work he is. This woman was not - she was proud of it. She saw herself as the puppeteer pulling the strings; she was more powerful than everybody else because she knew things about them and could make people respond predictably to her poison. As a result she despised people for their frailty and gullibility. And in there, I'm sure she despised herself at some level, and in THAT she was in denial - she maintained the fiction that she was physically beautiful despite advancing middle age, but had to constantly tell friends how lovely she was, as she looked in a mirror. </p><p></p><p>I know it sounds like I'm being *****y here, but it's not intended - I found her fascinating and compelling, like a funnel-web spider I've observing from the other side of a window.</p><p>I suspect she didn't want to 'play' with me in person, because of my physical disability. Because she was terrified of getting old and ugly, physical disability was similarly something she avoided having to even look at.</p><p></p><p>A sociopath generally has a strong sense of personal superiority which justifies their antisocial actions. A sociopath in the workplace will tend to keep dissent simmering, among other people. They will seem to be apart from it, when in fact they are the ones causing the problems discreetly with a word here, a memo there. A weak boss who either doesn't see what is happening or condones it, is setting himself up for supplantation. Other co-workers can end up shattered by the experience; resigning even at the cost of career; losing their good reputation. The most skilled ones rise to the top - not like cream, more like pond scum. But they are not team players. They know how to manipulate and use people but in the long run, productivity suffers badly and a company can go under. They cannot work with others, but instead must be totally in charge and controlling.</p><p></p><p>Sociopaths have no conscience, no empathy, although the clever ones can pretend well. But it is the actual lack of conscience, in reality, which flushes them out into the open for someone who knows what to look for.</p><p></p><p>If you work with a sociopath, give serious consideration to changing jobs.</p><p></p><p>If you live with one - move. Alternatively, make sure you are not seen as a threat, that you stay below their radar. Do not draw attention to yourself and they will probably find more interesting prey to play with.</p><p></p><p>It takes all kinds to make a world...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 130695, member: 1991"] Donna, from reading and other research I've done on this topic, I understand that "sociopath" and "psychopath" are used interchangeably. I think "Sociopath" is the more correct term, but I could be wrong, I've only been reading from a lay point of view. Your husband - if he either doesn't mean to hurt people, or is completely oblivious to how he hurts people and WILL NOT see the truth, then he may not qualify as sociopath. In my understanding, a sociopath KNOWS they are manipulating people, knows they are doing what THEY want, regardless, and they don't care. They know it is wrong, but consider it justified to "do unto others before they do unto you" because clearly, THEY are more important and more deserving than everybody else. These people are capable of caring about others, but not in the same way or to the same degree. Often they view their 'loved ones' more as possessions or extensions of themselves. The woman I mentioned - I likened her to the boy Kay in "The Snow Queen" story by Hans Christian Andersen; only seeing the world through a distorting lens, so everything nice looks ugly and despicable, with his heart hardened to a chip of ice. She would be introduced to a really good person, someone who is kind, does good things for others - and be immediately planning how to destroy that person's reputation. It was deliberate and calculated. She was secretly cruel to her friends, but used this cruelty to control them. To her enemies (such as her ex-husband), she was more open but still hid her actions where she could. She cultivated a friendship with a close friend's family, so she could then turn the family from loyalty to their sister, with lies and distortion ("Did you know that she once said that you were ...?") In doing so, she made them look through the same distorting mirror, and the wave of depression that seemed to follow this woman was like an epidemic, with her sardonic smile leading the pack. She never attacked me to my face, only via the 'Net. Once I realised who it was I stopped worrying, but never gave her the satisfaction that I knew. Instead I kept my mouth shut and my eyes open, and when she left I waited as people slowly began to see the light for themselves. The difference here, Donna, is I get from your description that your ex is in denial about what a nasty piece of work he is. This woman was not - she was proud of it. She saw herself as the puppeteer pulling the strings; she was more powerful than everybody else because she knew things about them and could make people respond predictably to her poison. As a result she despised people for their frailty and gullibility. And in there, I'm sure she despised herself at some level, and in THAT she was in denial - she maintained the fiction that she was physically beautiful despite advancing middle age, but had to constantly tell friends how lovely she was, as she looked in a mirror. I know it sounds like I'm being *****y here, but it's not intended - I found her fascinating and compelling, like a funnel-web spider I've observing from the other side of a window. I suspect she didn't want to 'play' with me in person, because of my physical disability. Because she was terrified of getting old and ugly, physical disability was similarly something she avoided having to even look at. A sociopath generally has a strong sense of personal superiority which justifies their antisocial actions. A sociopath in the workplace will tend to keep dissent simmering, among other people. They will seem to be apart from it, when in fact they are the ones causing the problems discreetly with a word here, a memo there. A weak boss who either doesn't see what is happening or condones it, is setting himself up for supplantation. Other co-workers can end up shattered by the experience; resigning even at the cost of career; losing their good reputation. The most skilled ones rise to the top - not like cream, more like pond scum. But they are not team players. They know how to manipulate and use people but in the long run, productivity suffers badly and a company can go under. They cannot work with others, but instead must be totally in charge and controlling. Sociopaths have no conscience, no empathy, although the clever ones can pretend well. But it is the actual lack of conscience, in reality, which flushes them out into the open for someone who knows what to look for. If you work with a sociopath, give serious consideration to changing jobs. If you live with one - move. Alternatively, make sure you are not seen as a threat, that you stay below their radar. Do not draw attention to yourself and they will probably find more interesting prey to play with. It takes all kinds to make a world... Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Do you know a Psychopath?
Top