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Do you secretly prefer one of your children over the others?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 471334" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Thanks for sharing and your honesty.</p><p></p><p>Even though most of my kids were adopted, I also feel that we live through them. It transcends genetics...it is a bond that is hard to explain. When I gave birth to my one biological son I was suffering from a terrible depression. Although I kept him in bed beside me and fed him, I was incapable of caring for him the way a mother should. I never did try to nurse...I was on medication. And, thankfully, I did form a strong bond with him anyway. Still, I did not ENJOY him because I couldn't enjoy ANYTHING. I was far too ill. </p><p></p><p>My adopted children had a far better early experience with me as I was mentally healthy and able to meet their needs and Jumper was adopted right from the hospital...I watched her birth...man, what a bonding experience THAT is. Also, I have so much intense love for her birthmother...I would lay down my life for her as well as my children, and she is young enough still to be another child of mine. She is such a good person and I see this goodness reflected in Jumper. Plus her birthmother and me got along great, just like me and Jumper do. In a way, her birth experience bonded us more closely than my biological son's. I was already very depressed when he was born and did not want to watch his birth, although I did hold him in my arms and cry as soon as he was handed to me.</p><p></p><p>My daughter from Korea came to us at five months and the moment the big soldier who had been holding her on the airplane handed her to me explaining she'd been crying the entire flight, I fell instantly in love and this crying baby smiled at me. I felt an elation I can never explain and have never felt again. I felt we were meant to be together.</p><p></p><p>As for Sonic, we met him in his foster home at two and the first thing he did was hold up his little arms so I could pick him up and I will never ever forget the look in his eyes or the pounding of my heart.</p><p></p><p>I actually believe biological son got the worst of the early bonding experience because I was so sick. </p><p></p><p>So, although I didn't nurse any of my kids, each one brought a new and wonderful moment into my heart. I understand how important those first moments together can be in the boding process. Do not feel guilty,please. Easier said than done, I know, but we can not always choose our children's beginning experiences in relation to our own. I adopted a six year old too. By the time we got him, I felt all the love I felt for my other kids, but he could not return it. It was simply too late in HIS life to acquire parents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 471334, member: 1550"] Thanks for sharing and your honesty. Even though most of my kids were adopted, I also feel that we live through them. It transcends genetics...it is a bond that is hard to explain. When I gave birth to my one biological son I was suffering from a terrible depression. Although I kept him in bed beside me and fed him, I was incapable of caring for him the way a mother should. I never did try to nurse...I was on medication. And, thankfully, I did form a strong bond with him anyway. Still, I did not ENJOY him because I couldn't enjoy ANYTHING. I was far too ill. My adopted children had a far better early experience with me as I was mentally healthy and able to meet their needs and Jumper was adopted right from the hospital...I watched her birth...man, what a bonding experience THAT is. Also, I have so much intense love for her birthmother...I would lay down my life for her as well as my children, and she is young enough still to be another child of mine. She is such a good person and I see this goodness reflected in Jumper. Plus her birthmother and me got along great, just like me and Jumper do. In a way, her birth experience bonded us more closely than my biological son's. I was already very depressed when he was born and did not want to watch his birth, although I did hold him in my arms and cry as soon as he was handed to me. My daughter from Korea came to us at five months and the moment the big soldier who had been holding her on the airplane handed her to me explaining she'd been crying the entire flight, I fell instantly in love and this crying baby smiled at me. I felt an elation I can never explain and have never felt again. I felt we were meant to be together. As for Sonic, we met him in his foster home at two and the first thing he did was hold up his little arms so I could pick him up and I will never ever forget the look in his eyes or the pounding of my heart. I actually believe biological son got the worst of the early bonding experience because I was so sick. So, although I didn't nurse any of my kids, each one brought a new and wonderful moment into my heart. I understand how important those first moments together can be in the boding process. Do not feel guilty,please. Easier said than done, I know, but we can not always choose our children's beginning experiences in relation to our own. I adopted a six year old too. By the time we got him, I felt all the love I felt for my other kids, but he could not return it. It was simply too late in HIS life to acquire parents. [/QUOTE]
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Do you secretly prefer one of your children over the others?
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